There is usually an electrical connection between prospective couples during what my husband calls the “impression stage”. The feeling between two people that draw each other to one another is 99% of the time a physical attraction. You know, you want to grab the other person and kiss and hold and ravish them immediately!
As the relationship becomes more comfortable and long term, often times those first feelings settle and instead of “hot hot” the affection dwindles to lukewarm. This is particularly true in many long time marriages where that old feeling can be one of those long forgotten memories. The couple is so used to each other, there are so many stressors (perhaps work, children, etc.), that there is barely time to think about affection and visible signs of that once torrid love.
How sad that is. Really sad because it’s absolutely NOT the way it has to be. My husband and I have been married 19 years and we are still on our honeymoon. It’s not because we didn’t have MANY stressors along the way. It’s not because we are rich and only have to worry about the fun we have together.
It is because we decided long ago never to take each other for granted. We are as polite and considerate to one another as we would be need to be to strangers, people at work, or people we pass on the street. We always work hard to resolve any difference of opinion we might have about a subject that pertains to and will affect both of us. We meld together with give and take along the way to find a resolve.
It’s so cool! We also, and this is VERY IMPORTANT, keep a great “affection connection”. We hold hands where ever we go. We keep things “hot” between us – and honestly – it’s better than ever, and not that difficult to do. Love those kisses that come as an unexpected surprise.
If you are dating, have a partner, or married – give it a whirl. Revive your relationship moment by moment. Surprise your love by doing or saying something that makes a positive difference. It doesn’t have to cost a ton of money either.
Once I wrote on the sidewalk “I love you” for no particular reason. My husband has surprised me too with special moments I can cherish. Keep the fun alive. Often we still play hide and seek in the house. We never know when someone will disappear . If you make things fun then your love won’t get mad when you turn off the hot water in the shower. You won’t get mad when he drops your sweats in the kitchen while you are doing dishes.
Be creative. Remember this is the person you have opted to be with, so make it the best time ever, every day! It’s your life and your relationship – TRUST ME – it is worth the effort.
Relax, it's just Life! 
October 29, 2008 at 11:29 pm |
Sounds like a very interesting concept! Are you playing with my clearly running Wanna very nice joke?)) Why is someone who never gambles just as bad as a regular gambler? Because he is no better!
October 30, 2008 at 2:56 pm |
Sorry, am not familiar with “clearly running Wanna very nice joke) – please explain:)
Like the gambler joke…a truism. Thanks for commenting and have a FINE day!