A senior moment

Someone who knows I write, asked me to post a short piece that she wrote. It is my pleasure to do so, and an eye opener for us all. I was happy to type it. Her handwriting was lovely. That is almost a lost art these days.
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It seems that the lymph nodes on the left side of my neck are always painful these days.
The doctor says it’s because they are “doing their job” – whatever that is. I don’t mind.

My left shoulder does ache after almost any work like weeding, shoveling, vacuuming or sweeping. Probably due to the dislocated shoulder from so many years ago. The one pounding my former husband bestowed on me. Or perhaps it’s from the near head
on collision when the old man crossed over on my side of the road. I was lucky then.
I don’t mind that much either.

Some days the ringing in my ears is so loud I can hear it over any other noise. Doesn’t
bother me too much except when it’s quiet and I am trying to sleep. It isn’t the kind of ringing that is conducive to lulling one to sleep. It’s a nuisance, but I don’t mind that too much either.

The floaters in my left eye might be increasing. I am fortunate to see quite well, except of course, I need my glasses to read. That condition happens to lots of people over 40, a majority statistically. But the floaters are strange more than anything. Little black spots that move when I look quickly up or down. I don’t see them all the time, but when I am looking at a blue sky they are obvious to me. I don’t mind very much.

Every once in a while that ankle I sprained while teaching physical education swells up and hurts like crazy. I probably did some extensive damage to it as I didn’t have any substitute teachers that year and I had to teach the same classes all day on that sprain. Now I just try to ice it and usually grab the ankle support to wear for the day. I really don’t like the pain, but it’s just one of many that are on the horizon, it seems.

The pain I am not very comfortable with is the chest pain. It’s been pretty consistent over the past months. My doctor says it’s acid reflex. I don’t think so. It’s a dull, but definite
pain. I don’t have “heartburn” as I used to have in the past. This is different.

I am experiencing other things that may be in conjunction with that pain. Often I can actually feel the pulsing of the blood in my hand and arm. My head pulses and it hurts on one side and then the other. I think it’s the blood passing by. I don’t know for sure, but I have lived in this body all my life, and am savvy to the way it feels.

The headaches have been consistent too. My husband says it’s almost every day.
I don’t think so, but more often than I like. Not being comfortable with these things is normal, I think.

This morning when I awoke my ellbow hurt. Didn’t hit it. Probably a bit of arthritis coming on. I noticed last week a bony knob on my index finger. I don’t remember it being there before. I can see the changes in my hands. The bones are become somewhat deformed, but not much yet. My veins have suddenly become the focus of a first glance, and not the long nails I still have when I haven’t broken them from working without gloves. These things don’t bother me too much either.

Oh, I almost forgot, I’ve turned up with the shingles! Pretty strange as I never had the chicken pox, but my children did. The doctor told me the virus lays dormant until after 40 and then starts raising hell. I am lucky as I don’t get them very often, though they are very irritating and itch at first. Then they break into an actual pox and as they heal (which takes a couple of weeks) there is a residual pain that is terrible. I’m told it gets worse with each year that passes. Still, I can deal with that.

Changes are what I can expect for the rest of my life. Not particularly good physical changes, but my mind is still sharp and I hope to keep it that way. I am working to keep the physical aspect as good as possible, but after all, this body has been around a while now.

Some folks are better than me. Others are not nearly as fortunate to have my good health.
I think the thing that is the hardest to accept is the careless attitude younger people have towards those of us who have lived long enough to have aged! It’s almost as if we are
guilty of some horrible crime. Hard to look at too. The worst of it is this group (and it can span from teens to early forties) often think because we are now considered “seniors”,
we have lost our intellect, our sense of humor, our sensual desires and our desire for child like play. We haven’t! So please don’t judge us for our age. You are looking at yourselves in the future !

One Response to “A senior moment”

  1. suburbanlife Says:

    Thanks for this lovely post, Marsha. G

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