The Dream

I awoke from a dream three minutes ago and felt compelled to write it down. It’s 6:50 AM. It could have been today’s reality; it was such an intense dream. It will stay with me, again, for a long while. Maybe you’ve been there.

I was thirty-five years younger, and I was meeting friends and other couples to go on a bus trip. I was with the man I had just married.

He was a con artist but that was not something I could not see at the time. Every one told me not to marry him, but how could I have known? Oh yes, the little voice from within told me not to do it, but I met him and fell into his arms…hurt from a failed marriage, with a man who never got close to me except to have two children.

I was hungry for “LOVE and affection”. I needed a DREAM.

My dream of being in love and having the perfect family had been
dashed, ending with my husband having a blatant affair, and refusing to give it up, even after counseling.

This man knew who and what he wanted, and what he wanted was me. He wanted all of me. He wanted my joy, my happiness, my beautiful children and home, my sex, my money – he wanted everything.

I immersed my true spirit with a cup of alcohol, which I thought relaxed me – then added a dash of pot, and with that managed to fool myself into just WHO he really was. I NEEDED that dream.

Anyway, we were on the bus and he stepped off for a few, with some of the other guys, and when he came back, he was totally someone else. He was angry. He moved away from me, and I wasn’t sure why. Everyone on the bus was shocked.

They were in the same dream as I was, and were deluded in their lives.

By then I knew he was drunk. I didn’t know what else he’d done, I assumed crank or pot, or another woman, but he was DIFFERENT. He was indifferent to me, and mad at me and began to show another self.

He flirted for a brief moment with a friend, and then I saw he was
almost laying on the floor, insecure, and obviously not the man I thought I knew.

I told one of the girls “I knew I shouldn’t have married him”, and he heard me and wreathed upright and said, “What did you say?”
The venom almost dripped from his mouth like a mad dog.

He was angry again. Strangely, I felt compassion for him.

I awoke. The dream seemed to last the night. I was startled. That dream was my reality thirty-five years ago, and it still haunts me in my sleep.

I have since forgiven myself, but it took almost twenty-five years to do that, and I still ask God for forgiveness for the horror my children saw, and perhaps the mistakes they are making because of it………

Children don’t learn from words. They learn from what they see and hear.

I am listening to my heart and the holy voice from within these days. I knew I must write this down to share. I prayed several days ago for the motivation and inspiration to once write again.

Yesterday I had a better dream. It was about a holy kiss. I knew I was supposed to write that too, but I “put it off” to take care of catching up from a trip. I will not do that again. When I am given inspiration, I will share it in the hope it will be inspiring to someone and that I will be sharing the love and hope I’ve been given.

A Holy Kiss will be written later today. CREATE your life in reality and with intellect and a fair helping of emotion. Depend on
God and don’t give up!

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2 Responses to “The Dream”

  1. Bonnie Says:

    What a powerful dream. Your dream very closely mimics my own failed marriage of 21 years.

    Thank you for sharing…

  2. Michael Says:

    Marsha, Have a blissful Thanksgiving. !!!

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