Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

A Tad of Negativity – only a tad (small amount)

August 13, 2015

Aren’t you excited? Everything must be okay – isis  (I never capitalize anyone or anything I have no respect for)  must be under control! Why would the president be in Martha’s vineyard playing golf, otherwise.
Is the one year anniversary of the death of a bully, who beat someone up that day (did you see the video), and then stole, and really was the bad one, a celebration or a mourning? The officer was doing his job. I know there are some really good officers, and some corrupt, as within every area of business. (Politics, for instance.)

Let’s go a week without ANY police on duty in the country. What do you think? It would be a good eye-opener for sure.

Another celebration here in CA. If you are a prisoner and you decide you want to be transgender, no worries – it will be paid for completely. Then of course the jail will have to transfer the transgender to an appropriate facility. A judge in San Francisco decreed that law into life.

But let a senior citizen try to live on social security, or pay for their own glasses and teeth (because these things are not covered), and the point of it all becomes mute. Except for the evil laughter of the few who govern us all.

I know we are all supposed to cut down on water. Do you think moonbeam (the governor – what’s his name) does? How about prisoners? You know they have more rights and benefits that senior citizens, many whom who have dedicated their lives to working hard and being a good citizen. Does that make everyone happy….not from what I hear neighbor to neighbor, and in the markets, and all around where the peasants live.

You know why Trump is so popular now – don’t you? You do, I know it. He is not a political mastermind (thank God) – he just knows he won’t back down or take any BS from anyone. He doesn’t have to curtsy for those who donate money to campaigns. He may not be “politically correct” but he is refreshing and I cannot help but like him.  He can’t be bought, and obviously thus far, he can’t be hushed into submission.

Please – I lived through the Kennedy clan rule – think about it before you vote for another Clinton or Bush.  Enough is enough.  I would RATHER have the Donald before either of them – even Donald Duck would do.

Regarding Megan Kelly-she did attack him and it was not a question that was anything but aimed at making him look like a fool. I don’t know any man who hasn’t said something about a woman at one time or another – that doesn’t mean he is a woman hater. Frankly I don’t know any woman who hasn’t said something negative about a man at least once. Comes with the gender differences……..

OH THAT’S RIGHT – a few people complained and now Target no longer has a boys section and a girls section…..every thing is going to all be mixed together to be neutral “to be fair”.

Throw-up, puke, hurl, vomit, yuk, I am so sorry to enlighten these folks – but really (with rare exceptions) humans are born BOY and GIRL, with matching parts. Let’s REALLY confuse the little ones. If they aren’t “different” let’s mix them up so much they don’t know who or what they are – for sure!

There is a bit of boy and girl in all of us!  DUH!  I am a peasant princess but I loved to climb trees and play hard.

I remember in the old movie with big brother – 1986 (written way prior to that) – all men and women had cubicles to work in and they all dressed in a neutral kind of gray color. They all were separated by big brother making sure they were so busy with work and then drinking booze to relax – no relationships were bonded.

Lastly, I just want you all to know I should have copy written the name YEARS ago when I began to write my blog. If you just look up “Relax, it’s just Life” – a man has written a book (think 2012) and has taken the name as his own. Oh well no one REALLY owns anything except their own thoughts and actions.

So OWN yourself today, and as Dan the Man says, CREATE a beautiful day for you and those in your circle of life…be it a small circle or a large one. A small light in the darkness can change everything.  Insist of a great day and small through all the BS…all of it really isn’t important in the long run.  Insist on FUN.  My sis and I used to pretend everything was a Saturday night live skit.

It really does put most things in a better prospective!

Addendum:  I am terrible at using tags and categories…I just seem to go blank when I do that! I know it is important.  I will work at it!  Now a lovely Hawaiian Orchid for your pleasure.

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Oprah has a billion dollars, but I have style!

October 16, 2014

I opted to model in this beret a “few” years ago – at least more than 25!  Yikes.Oprah

Mine was angora.  Ha ha.  I just think this is very funny.  “They say” every style that is old will come back again!  Proven here.  I do have some bell bottom slacks that I have had since the 60’s.  Wide bell bottoms to dance in.  Of course they are a tad tighter now!

Sometimes things are just funny to me.  Humor is healing, you know – and for me that is necessary!  Actually humor is very important for all of us to remember these days!

SMILE!  God bless you all.

THIS IS SOMETHING WONDERFUL! I AM SURE YOU WILL LOVE IT!

August 20, 2014

Here is the best reason I have ever heard for just “turning” the covers down on the beds and not making them each day!  The air freshens the sheets and dries out any moisture that may be left on them, and at the same time kills bed mites!  Don’t cringe…we all have bed mites we can’t see!  YUK.

I will never make a bed again!

If you want a very simple stress management technique, go to my website: stressmanagementmagic.com and read today’s post.  It’s short!

CREATE a beautiful day full of individually wonderful moments.  Your the boss applesauce!  At least the boss of YOU!

Here are some flowers just for you!
Flower mix

I just hate people that dress up their animals!

July 13, 2013

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My little angel

really

madd

That’s it.  I’m done posing.

One more, please!

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Now go play like a good dog Dakota.

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Ninety-five years old

May 24, 2013

There is a gal in the next hospital bed who is ninety five years old.  She’s been in here for a couple of weeks.  She had a stroke.  Every day she is going to speech therapy and occupational therapy.  She cracked me up the other day.  She was sitting on the bed and I looked over at her and asked, “How was your day today?”  She looked at me sternly and replied:  “What do you care!”  I was just about to think she was cross, and she looked at me and broke up in laughter….it was a joke.  She cracked herself up too!  We’ve been buddies ever since she played her little joke.  Laughter is healing medicine.

When you get up tomorrow, stretch and smile and think “it is going to be a wonderful day.”

I’ll do the same – I promise!

How’s this for an unexpected turn of events?

February 22, 2013

Woke up this morning and slipped on a warm nightgown as the house felt a bit chilly.  With the discipline of a good soldier, I slipped my back brace tightly around my body, insuring I would not make a move that would further injure me.

I have an appointment with a second neurosurgeon Wednesday, and I can hardly wait!  This not “knowing” is wearing on me a bit.

Anyway, I left my bra off to be more comfortable as I had not planned to go anywhere; also left my slippers off, no makeup, and wild hair.  I must have looked just adorable  (Hey, adorable comes from the inside I hope!)

Suddenly my one hundred and twenty pound Rotteweiler jumped on my sliding glass door.  There was a cat sitting inside my fence looking directly at us.  My dog simply does not like cats at all!

I made her sit and stay, as I was afraid she was going to break the slider and I slipped out on the back porch and shut it.  I picked up a rock and just threw it at the fence to get the cat to move.  It left quickly.

I turned to go back into the house and the door had locked.  In twenty-five years that has never happened.  “Oh no” I thought.  I hoped I had replaced the hidden key by the side of the house.  I

peeked outside the gate and opened it.  Carefully I moved barefooted across the rocks and through the trees near the fireplace.  I found the hidden key. I had replaced it.  Yahoo.

Now all I had to do was move to the front of the house and hope no one saw me.  I peeked through the bushes, made my way carefully over the rocks, and as quickly and casually as I could make it to the front door.  Phew!  “Safe.” I thought.

At that moment the UPS driver parked directly in front of my house.  As quickly as I could turn the key in both locks I jammed inside and slammed the door.

I’d done it.  No one had seen me.  Within a moment the doorbell rang and a cheery voice asked, “Will you sign for this please?”

I grabbed a coat from the coat rack, zipped it, and opened the door casually as if I had no hesitation.   I smiled, signed for the package, and closed and locked the door.

I was breathing a sigh of relief. “Next time” I thought, “ I will at least put on a bra and slippers with my nightie!  “Be prepared at all times.” I thought.   No harm done.

A Man’s favorite piece of clothing

August 9, 2010

This is my husband’s favorite piece of clothing. Every time he runs around the house with them on, I am really tempted to rip them off! However, I know better than that.

I did that one time with one of his tee shirts, and I heard about it for months! “It was soft”. “It was air conditioned.” “It was just broken in right.” “It was holy!”

Yes, he laughed, but inside he withered at my careless destruction. So these days when he sports his NEW favorite piece of clothing – I just look and am tantalized!

Oh, a deciding factor in leaving his clothing alone was when I wore one of my favorite pairs of jeans that had a few holes…I liked the way they fit…and he caught me by the one over my booty and rip! By-by jeans. Hello “Hands off the clothing” protocol.

Have a wonderful day!

Simple and pleasurable stress management techniques

July 1, 2010

Tips to REALLY De-Stress
Suck it in and take a minute to read this!

Here are some ideas to help you reduce stress throughout the day.

1. If anyone at work looks at you crossly, say, “I don’t like the way you are looking at me”, then empty a trash can on the floor. Smile and walk away.

2. Shut your feelings and emotions up in a vault. Don’t trust anyone and don’t believe 99% of words spoken. They are all liars and frauds!

3. When you get home, if your mate or partner or roommate has left clothes lying around, simply spit on them and say, “You’d like it better if you had them in the hamper.

4. When you have to have somebody over and cook a dinner for him/or her (if you aren’t crazy about them) – don’t spit in their food; but put some disgusting spices together and make something horrible. Then serve it to your guest, smiling.

6. If you have to listen to someone and they are boring at the moment, tune them out. Men are naturals at doing this.
It’s like not being there when you are actually there.

7. Today a lady in the store starting smiling and talking to me. If it happens to you, look her in the eyes and say, “shut up”. Then smile and turn away.

8. When someone is riding your ass and they don’t get the message – slam on your breaks and make them hit you. It will be their fault.

9. When you are asked if something that someone (man or woman) does that is bad – like singing – tell them to shut up too. Assholes.

10. Lastly, when someone tries to tell you something you know isn’t accurate – just smile and punch him or her in the face. Then walk away laughing.
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There now. Don’t you feel better? I know I do. ☺

A stress management technique for your pleasure! Get it out of your head and move on to the next unknown moment. No one can say life isn’t an adventure!

If you can’t even laugh at something (maybe not this:) – then you need to seek a counselor, family and friends help, internet health information highway, yoga, massage, or whatever it takes to calm down. Take a breath. Feel better! Someone really does care.

If you loose your brakes while driving……

March 18, 2010

This is just good emergency information you may not have heard. Do not turn off the engine as if you have power steering you will loose control of the wheel.

Do put your foot on the brake, shift into neutral, and try to pull off the road. That’s about all you can do, but at least you won’t be going one hundred miles an hour and endangering yourself and everyone else on the road.

(If you wonder why I posted this in each category, it’s because most of us drive!)

Be safe when driving. Courtesy is underrated, and if people think “guns” are dangerous, just remember your car is a huge and heavy piece of equipment that can be a huge danger if not driven safely.
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I have been asked what happened to my stressmanagementmagic blog. I no longer write that blog, but write here:

http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/02/contest-stress-free/

Check it out and take a few minutes between now and May 1st. There is no fee, great prizes, and it will bring some good things to mind, I hope!
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Here is a Bible verse that I found JUST WHEN I NEEDED IT. Sometimes it happens that way.
“Even when we are too weak to have any faith left, He remains faithful to us and will help us, for He cannot disown us, who are a part of Himself, and He will always carry out His promises to us.”
2 Timothy 2:13

Have a BEAUTIFUL DAY!

Marsha

http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/02/contest-stress-free/

Animal Lovers What do You Think?

February 6, 2010

They say a dog looks like it’s owner. What do you think?


I couldn’t help myself…my husband put my sunglasses (a good friend gave me for my birthday) on Dakota, and she actually didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass…
it’s about learning to dance in the rain!”
-Vivian Greene

Make each moment fun! It’s your life!