Archive for the ‘story’ Category

I awoke and this took form on paper

May 25, 2014

I don’t know what happened as some of the paragraphs were repeated.  It now stands corrected.  Have a beautiful moment – and the next, and the next!

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I had a dream, and then another and another – night after night, month after month, year after year.  Years turned to decades and I found myself dreaming, still.

Life changed the dreams from beautiful flights of fancy to tears sometimes.  Everything in my waking hours turned to dreams.  All memories bound together by darkness and restless eyes.

Dreams turned to acknowledgements, wisdom, wishes and the still hope lay in the path to fly again.  I saw the future of the core of humans still aspiring, and of those who lost their way.  I saw minds turn to stone and move like robots over the drying planet.

I had a dream. All the youthful errors were brought to light and the heart of my heart shone above all others on the browning planet.  He was stable and like a rock.  He was true, and I was his soul mate and Spiritual friend.  All others dissipated like fog in late morning.

I was old and disabled.  I passed by a woman who scowled and resented everything.  I told her to try to smile.  I told her it would make all easier and love would come to her.

I watched youth and a robust and healthy young woman pivoted and turned with grace and ease.  I cried for the exchange of freedom in movement to truth coming.  I knew.

I dreamed of the multilevel dome and how I could see everything outside from within.

Across the glass bridge, everything was transparent and I ran and skipped across it and back to the dome.

Within the confines, which felt limitless, I found myself turning like the tiny ballerina on the music box, again and again I moved with the music in my mind.  I spun around the top level of the dome, never faltering, never less than steady.   When I stopped I looked at the sky outside and it was pure blue and knew I would fly again soon.

blue sky

“If I could just remember how”, I thought.  “I would gently lift, and with my head tilted towards the sky I would put my arms back beside my body. then back further, with fingers together and hands relaxed, still parallel to my body, but behind it now, I would pick up speed and gentle altitude – between the old buildings, now higher in the sky.

Above the empty cities, turning with arms out to my side, above the mountains, above where the green and blue once joined in gentle landscape.”

I knew I would remember again.  I was there already within my mind.  I flew over small institution cubes where the workers could be monitored, and the core of the common man now lived.  Everything had changed.   I could see it was near the time.

I lived my life and learned all of it.  I did not choose an easy end.  I fulfilled my time with grace and still a soft heart.

I awoke and was glad my dreams had finally left me.  For so many years in waking hours my mind lived in both the awake world and the dream world.  I could not forget either.

But I was meant to learn my lessons and I was tenacious and hungry still for adventure.

I awoke and the light was brilliant.  I had seen so many faces in the walls, and floors.  I could not be alone and awake, and daydream for a moment that the faces of multitudes did not appear to me.

I was glad to forsake my day on planet earth. I was glad to give up the freedom and treacheries of my dreams. I was glad to be without form in Spirit alone. . I was finally “as it should be”; as it will be for so many – as it is destined to be.

I felt snuggled in love and embraced in truth.  I realized I was never alone.  I never had been.

I could fly again.

 

 

 

 

May 2, 2014

Just a quick Thursday good morning, afternoon or evening to you . The days are flying by and I have been trying to complete six books before it’s time to die. No one knows when that will happen and I have spent most of my life writing so I determined sometime after my accident no one will finish what it’s taken me years to write – except me!

Believe it or not they are mostly written – the most difficult part is proofing, making covers and getting everything just right to be put on Amazon. I had a contract with a publishing company for one of my books – the one on how to care for an aging parent – but they sat on it for seven years and I am blessed those years just finished.

I have reconciled, to accept my disabilities as permanent-only because of my faith in God, and my tenacious drive for life, can I do this.  It was a year ago today I was in surgery with a great neurosurgeon (thank you Lord) and getting my back fixed after a burst compression fracture.  I could be completely paralyzed, or dead!

To accept my disabilities as permanent is difficult, but not impossible. Such is life. It isn’t always what we expect, but I expect the best, and perhaps my vision will be clearer now that I am unable to dance all over the place! I can walk (it’s not a very pretty walk), and I have to use a can, and I can write. I can dance in a way, and surely in my head.

I am a stubborn little woman, and my husband still says, after 26 years, a hand full.

So the books will be done within this year. That is my determination. This is what they are:

  1. Lessons in Love – about taking care of a parent, giving them happiness until they die, and not going crazy or getting exhausted in the process. It’s kind of a love story about me caring for my mama for ten years – and we both gained from it!

I am exhausted tonight so I will ignore any typos (sorry!)

2.Whiskeyton. Has nothing to do with Whiskey! This photography- views of a lake and the surrounding mountains from a kayak. Took me from 2004-20011 to get all the photographs, and there will be inspiration (I hope) with each photo, and a Bible verse below. I think, whether you believe in the Bible or not, it is a great book for training in life. It will be for children and adults.

3. The Last Resort – Photographs (again), a  view of the homeless in my area, and of course some interviews and thoughts on the scenario.

4.  Toll 63 – a very interesting book about the lives of an oilman in the early days, a disabled and vibrant young woman, and what transpires when they join forces.  It progresses and follows the life of one of their twins.  The time spans from 1916 to this very day!  I love it so far – do you think I am predjudice?

4.  The Best Bedtime Stories. Positive and fun, the stories are done and I am just waiting for the illustrations.

5.  Poetry, Prose and Private Property.  This book could spares no details and touches every aspect of being human!

I am not trying to brag, there are so many unbelievable authors, but I feel good about my work.  I feel like it is from the heart, experience, and always with a positive overtone – no matter how difficult the experience.

Therein is why my posts have been thin in nature.

I am not trying to brag, but I am not a “salesperson” and if I don’t know the quality of my own “products” I should not sell!  I do think God gives each of us a gift and I am working hard at using it!

Well, that’s it for now. Just an update as to where I have been. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE – don’t waste a second of your precious life in anger, fear, or hate. It is NOT WORTH IT as you truly will be the one who pays the big price.

LOVE ONE ANOTHER. I love you for reading! I love you for being my brother and sister human beings! God bless you and your families. I mean it sincerely!