Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

Wonderful Memories & Gratitude

January 11, 2018

The difference between positive thoughts and negative ones…is simply a word or two.

Rather than mentioning how much I MISS specific things, as an optimist I will say instead, I have WONDERFUL MEMORIES of things. It is so easy, but we get in the habit of using negative words and phrases, and our minds, being brilliant learning machines, places the words used into thoughts and feelings.

Today I would like to share memories of things I treasure. I will hope and pray that the children of today, though perhaps unable to enjoy the exact memories, will have exceptional memories of their own as they grow into adults.

The first thing that comes to mind:  sitting in a tree when I was eight or so, and I enjoyed the sound of the birds and the big clouds mixing together before a storm. I ate so many tart green apples it did make me ill for a bit – but worth every moment I had sitting in that tree.

I remember how the sound of a train made me feel warm and think of places in the country and the thrill when the engine operator saw me and tooted his long horn. The sound still makes me stop and think….

I remember laying in the grass and listening to silence, while clouds configured into animals and faces, and wonderful things.

I remember riding my bike with my sister to the high school in the evening. There was no fear, no helmet, and no restriction to be home before dark. We dropped our bikes and changed into swimsuits and jumped into the pool. I loved to do a headstand in the water – legs straight as a board.

I remember walking on a downed tree with my cousin on the end of it, pushing it up and down to see if he could shake me off. We laughed and smiled and then went fishing on the river in Kings Canyon.

I remember seeing so many butterflies when the flowers came into bloom. A butterfly would flutter by…The bees came round too when the flowers were in bloom, another memory of joy.

I remember going to a camp where my brother and sister and I floated candles on little lily pads made of cardboard as a show of our faith in Jesus. The lake was brilliant with the light of so many that night.

I remember being scolded at that camp because I let a boy kiss me lightly on the lips. It is not the scolding that brings a fond memory, but because I liked the boy – it was the kiss!

I remember always, with my family, sharing laughter and song. Often we broke into song for no particular reason. We still do.  I remember holding each of my children close to me, and thanking God for them.

I am joyful and grateful I was born with something inside my heart than always finds a way to smile and be positive. I believe I was born to love, and in turn, I have been given love by so many people along the way.

I remember as a young adult someone told me “I have the cracklings of a healer” – which to me is wonderful. I want others to feel their hearts almost explode with joy, and their bodies and minds to heal..I want them to KNOW and use the power of the Spirit within.

I am grateful for living, thirty years now, with a man who kept his promises…and still does.

Fireflies, bonfires, a church bell ringing, children giggling, the feel of a baby laying on your chest-your heartbeat and the infants heartbeat, the dog laying upside down, sleeping and snoring, the unity of loved ones when Spirit leaves a body, the faith that keeps you going even when it seems impossible, the movement of the foot when a piece of music begins and that rhythm awakens the body and prods it to get up and dance just for fun, a sunset on the beach with sand sifting between your toes, the sunrise in the pines when the smell of coffee and the sound of crackling bacon awakens you, the colors as leaves turn from green to red and drop off of the trees, the dogs jumping in a pile of leaves you just raked up, a child’s eyes as he sits up in a bathtub, after showing you he can put his head under water, the parents gathered together to watch the soccer game with the young children beginning to hone skills in physical challenges, the bravery of a young soldier when he comes home with only one leg and works to begin again, holding hands, a good movie that leaves you smiling and feeling elated, the smile of someone you don’t know sitting next to you in stopped traffic, the look someone you love gives you when they shine eyes upon you, and you know they love you, and oh so very much more……all the miracles of the moments, the days, the months, the years.

THIS IS my year of GRATITUDE for all the memories, and all the wonderful moments of life to come – NO MATTER WHAT!

I pray this will be the beginning of a new and beautiful year for you too! REMEMBER there are a few ways to make it happen.
No matter what happens keep in mind you ALWAYS have a choice in how you respond; make it a positive response.
Prayer works so use it. (Even if you question this, try one prayer a day and see what happens!)
Wake up and say, “This is going to be a very good day.” Turn around potentially bad incidents into a learning scenario, and move forward.
Think before you speak. As ye think, so shall ye become.
Be a better listener.
Love one another – and FORGIVE. We all make mistakes.

 

 

 

 

The House Next Door

January 31, 2016

I sat on the stoop, knees bent, with elbows placed precisely so I could rest the weight of head on my hands. It was quiet. I looked towards the two-lane road, rarely used these days, and noticed the large trees sitting with limbs bent and nearly touching the ground. It had been a while since anyone had manicured the yard. The trees stood almost as tall as the old two-story home. It was rather a forest of birds and grass, and plants gone wild, and growing together. It was quiet and beautiful.

I looked directly in front of me, across the way. My neighbor was standing, with her easel in front and brush in hand. I had always admired her talent as an artist, whether it be painting, etching, knitting, or decorating her home. It was never “to not to be touch” decor – it was comfort first. I was reminded of a large old cabin in the woods. Soft pillows were strewn around and with candles and a light fragrance of incense filling the room, one always felt welcomed.

I said, Good morning, and she smiled and waved. We had lived next door to each other for many years in these big two story wooden homes. Yet we spent little time together. I remember a few times specifically. Her husband and girls always remained a family and I was glad, but I could feel a touch of envy, as my life hadn’t been so calm and solid.

The girls came out the front door ready to leave for some adventure for the day. They weren’t girls anymore. They were young women. I greeted them and warm smiles were directed my way. I noticed my neighbor’s painting was much larger than usual – and the subject was a city. I remembered cities vaguely.

I rose and stretched and waved good-by and opened the front door to go in a do something – I’ve forgotten just what right now – but I know it included coffee. The bells on the door tinkled and I decided to leave it open to bring the fragrance of the trees to me.

Both home stood as large monuments to past days. Fireplaces, larges kitchens to gather in, and often the smell of something homemade sitting on the windowsill to cool. Her home welcomed large groups of friends quite often. I could sit near the window in the bedroom upstairs and watch as the children ran the circumference of the front porch past the narrow walkway to the large deck in the back. Most gatherings filled her home. If I scanned from front to back, there were people sitting in rocking chairs quietly visiting in front. With windows open the sound of the music flowed out and up, and was usually a pleasant instrumental that was contusive of relaxing…as I looked at the large back porch the children laughed and played jacks, and the adults were, drink in hand, talking and perhaps partaking of a fine selection of weed.

But there was never discord among the quests. Below the deck as you stepped toward the forest that surrounded us, she had grown a vegetable garden that produced large plump tomatoes, string beans, and pumpkins. She rotated her crops and was had quite the green thumb. I loved having the family next door. Her husband was usually there, and was quiet, but he partnered her in her creativity, and was friendly and welcoming.

What amazes me is that after the years I never even knew the name of one person that lived in the home. I liked them all. I felt she and I could have been friends. Names didn’t seem to matter. What mattered was the heart of the home, and because of the heart of the home I was glad they lived near.

I quite of the house rather startled me initially. With no one there and little furniture, my footsteps almost echoed throughout. I’d left a warm fire crackling in the fireplace, and it reminded me that because of the immense size of it, I never used any other source to heat.

The embers of the fire at the end of the evening drifted upward and the bedrooms were just warm enough to feel comfortable when I slipped under my down comforter. By the time the sun finally set behind the view of the trees of the forest, I always looked forward to the night.

It was a time to pray and a time to sleep and regenerate. A time to dream.

That night I found myself in the same dream I’d had so many times before. It was specific. So many familiar characters and places. I don’t know how many times I’d had this dream before, but a part of me did not want to wake up.

I felt the wet nose of the puppy pressing against mine, and I curled up and moved away from the side of the bed. I wasn’t ready to awake. Again the persistent puppy tried to arouse me. This time I felt a wet tongue touch my lips. That did it. I awoke and knew it was time to get a cup of coffee. I looked at the clock. It was later than I had expected.

I stretched and then realized even the pretending to be asleep to dream was actually a dream. I dreamed I had to get up from my dream, when I was actually just dreaming. I had to actually wake up to get up. Is that a dream in a dream?

This brief part of my dream is that – only a brief representation of part of my recurring dream. No worries, if it interested you I recall all of it, to this point, as if it were my simultaneous life. For now it is time for coffee.

 

 

A strange day!

March 16, 2015

I could have given up as my keyboard has been turning off and it is kind of distracting – HOWEVER, this has been such a strange day thus far, I need to share it.  There will be two posts today.

The first one was my dream last night:

I saw the large pool and it was so clear I could see how deep it was. No one was swimming in the pool, no one near except a man and a woman who stood near the side of the pool in the shallow area. They spoke softly. As I walked the far edge of the pool I could hear his voice, now gruff and much louder. I could also hear the shrill and obvious displeasure in her voice. Both were talking at the same time.

I walked to the concert area and the group of women who had been practicing for weeks were arguing with four members of another group. I understood after all the practice they dedicated, they wanted to present their interpretation of the play.

I also knew the members of the other group, far more experienced and professional, and they were simply trying to offer suggestions to refine and excite the performances. Everyone was chattering loudly and defensively at the same time.

No one understood the others motives, really, they were just trying to hold on to what was so important it wound up in an arguement.

As I left the hall one frail girl asked a man of questionable character, if he could score any drugs. I walked by them quietly.

I entered the door to the left and saw the group that had been in the concert hall. Don’t know how they had gotten there without passing me in the hallway. The experienced and really good group were discouraged. They were talking about how they had spent years on the road working hard and still were left with a pittance and no place to go at the moment.

Somehow I knew the person who usually occupied the opulent and airy room. The bedroom had been neat, but once I spoke to the owner, and asked him if they could stay the night, and they knew it was okay, they began to drop their bags and instruments and sit or relax, one by one on a bed or chair.

The once attractive woman, now worn and exhausted, began to sing softly. Her sweet voice sent chills through my body as I recognized the words, “how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me…”

The words faded into silence as she wearily closed her eyes and her constantly wringing hands and body relaxed into a deep sleep. She was oblivious to the world around her. I could see her as a beautiful young woman. She still was beautiful in an ethereal way.

I knew they needed money and I opened my bag to find lots of money. There were rolled bills, a stack of flat bills – topped with a hundred dollar bill. There were several rolls of money and a heavy bag of change. I peeked in it and there were only quarters and half dollars. I had no idea where the money came from but felt pressed to count it.

I looked around and everyone else was either resting on a bed (or sitting)  with a laptop near by, or one form or another of the almighty iphone. Each donned tiny earphones placed carefully at the lobe of their own ears. One man both looked and listened at two different electrical appliances at once, with the seriousness of someone trying to do the impossible “perhaps unboil an egg” I thought.

I remembered going to an enormous “event” earlier. The top of the building looked like the striped and vibrant design of an old time circus. Everyone had prepaid to enter.

I looked around and thought, “I am in the midst of so many things that mean absolutely nothing. Everyone works so hard and pay with the hours of their lives, and then they pay to enter this place and spend all of their money on things that mean NOTHING.”
It seemed preposterous to me.

I came back to the present moment  began to count the cash. The bound stacks of money were different. Some lighter in tones and some quite a bit darker. I thought it might be counterfeit. Then I thought, it’s all counterfeit anyway…bills made of paper that purchase things that mean nothing. I thought of my home. Modest, sturdy, a place to sleep and be tied to day after day. – I paid almost $700.00 in interest alone. Everything seems to be counterfeit. “You pay to live and it’s all meaningless,” I thought.

$5,500 thus far. I knew it all was placed before our eyes (technology, things and money) to snare us into the trap. The almighty we dedicated our lives to brought distance and arguing between peoples. It took without return, except what “appeared” to be a fleeting moment of worth.

I thought all the beauty and things of actual value given to us freely, and how we all seemed to push these things aside for the shiny gold coin. I thought of God and opened my eyes and realized I had been dreaming.

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The second post will be after I grab something to eat.  I felt my stomach hurt.  God bless all those who find themselves hungry with nothing to eat.

Here is a first for my blog! I am presenting you with and mp3 that I believe is great and timely.

August 30, 2014

I hope you enjoy!  Remember, and pass it forward!

Movie Reviews

August 12, 2014

A quick movie review. I feel qualified only because I have intelligence, taste and morals! (Actually, since my husband was hurt badly in 2003 and I was last year – we have watched (verifiably) over two thousand movies. That is sad, in a way, because we think holly weird passes the wrong messages to younger people.

Here goes:

Noah: The actors and special effects were jut fine, but something “lacked ” in the writing. If anyone was trying to see what Noah of the Bible was really like – this was wayyyyyy far off base. As far as everyone I have spoken with – the consensus is the same – entertaining, but nothing really special.

Under the Skin: For all the hype you would think this such an amazing move! It was- amazingly unprofound (is that a word?) and stupid. Yes, the actress is very pretty, and her nude body is fine too – but as far as the movie – YUK. Don’t spend your money. REALLY. It wasn’t a spectacular alien movie. She isn’t as pretty as Brad Pitt’s wife, you know who I mean, Angelina, and most of the movie was focused on her face. She has a nice smile, but as far as the rest of the acting – acting? Where? We watched it all because my curiosity is extreme, and I needed to know if there was a point I would be overwhelmed with the quality or story of the movie. NOT. If anything I was under whelmed. What a piece of trash and the time I spent “giving it a chance” is lost forever. Bleck!

Non-Stop with Liam NIiesem (that’s close) – what an unexpected A movie! I was totally shocked as I hadn’t heard of it, and it was one of those movies you can’t take your eyes off the screen because it is so exciting. Well worth the money. There is something sexy about that man.

Heaven is Real: I read the book. It was quite good, and a best seller because it is true. I don’t think the movie was quite as thrilling as the book, but my husband (who is crazy for wild stuff), even professed, he really enjoyed it.   A true story. I can relate to being “out of the body” as I was once after an accident…good to sit with family and ponder life and all that we can’t see.

Forgive the typing and all, I am still in a splint and with only my right hand (am left-handed) it is what you see is what you get. CHOOSE your movies carefully – they are sneaky in holly weird….we saw a movie (can’t think of the name of it) not too long ago, and NONE of the sexual violence was in the previews.

I had an attempted rape. It’s not funny, and it’s not sexy. Think of your daughters, sisters, mothers and girlfriends, guys, and don’t let that you see on screen entice you.

It’s your life – PICK AND CHOOSE!

 

BTway – I always choose “elderly or seniors with tags and categories as they NEED to be involved with life, with reality, with a part of what is happening now.  They have earned it!

 

Venting

August 7, 2014

HERE I AM AGAIN – Relaxing, believe it or not, but needing to air a few complaints. I would be interested in hearing yours too, if you care to comment…really!  These are my opinions, and I write them after doing quite a bit of research on the topics.  You may agree or you may disagree.  I do not intend to offend, nor do I ever intend on diluting my philosophy in order please someone.  I hope you hold true to what you believe too!  Sometimes it isn’t easy as today’s society in general says “everything” is okay.  Well, in my mind, it’s not.

What is so difficult about fencing off the border? The Great Wall of China travels some 14,000 miles, and the work began on it before Christ. Do we not have the brains to employ thousands of people by building this wall?

Both my sons married girls from other countries. It took two years for them to enter the USA legally. For those that are OBEYING the law, these illegal aliens being granted permission to stay are a slap in the face to the ones who KEEP the law, and to all citizens of the USA. Bundle up those children, give them some clothing, feed them, and send them back to their land of origin. NO OTHER country in the world would allow this. Why does our beloved (puke) government?

Did you know they are being bussed to cities and they have no money, can’t speak English, no jobs, and will increase our TWO TRILLION dollar bill to “give to those in need”? Did you know it costs that much?

I am not certain I will vote anymore, and here is why. OUR VOTE MEANS SQUAT!

So many supreme courts have overturned the people’s votes…even if measures have been voted on several times, they are proving it means NOTHING BY  overturning these measures.

I don’t get to choose my candidates. First you have to be RICH and then have clout, and then be RICH. The uneducated and illegal aliens are going to vote – and probably liberally because they will keep getting and getting what you and I have to work our lives away for – money, housing, medical, etc. etc. etc. What is wrong with that picture?

When someone gets the “death sentence” it is laughable. That means they will spend the next twenty years being supported and taken care of by you and me. They will even get glasses and dental work (our seniors don’t get that with Medicare).

Then (even though they may have RAPED and KILLED a family), if they aren’t killed fast enough, it is “cruel and unusual”. What?

The next complaint is when they sentence  a person, saying, “One-Hundred and Fifty Years to Life”.   Is there some secret life-extending potion they offer in prison? Makes the courts sound like idiots…next:

I think it is WAY TO LONG that the supreme court members have their jobs for life! We as citizens don’t select them, and they certainly are human and no matter what have their “own slant” on decisions-no matter what anyone says. Way too much power.

obama is making some big official decisions while congress is recessed. Our country will be in a tailspin if someone doesn’t stop this monster. Do not be deceived – even Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light and recite verses from the Bible.

What about OUR children? Many of the children (and it isn’t their faults) are bringing into this country lice, scabies, tuberculosis and other terrible diseases. For “enlightened parents who opted NOT to vaccine their children, watch out for them carefully!

Last legitimate complaint from me today is this:   WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING BRINGING EBOLA INTO THE UNITED STATES?  There is no cure for sure. Remember not too long ago they found some terrible ERRORS within the gates of the CDC. I think it was smallpox that was put in a cardboard box somewhere it should not have been.

You know there will be outbreaks here in the USA. I am NOT happy about saying this, but it is bound to happen.

WE NEED TO PRAY – and bond together as citizens. We are AMERICANS. We are a melting pot, it is true, but that does not mean we can let the entire world come to America! We are teaching those chilfren you can break the law in America and still get what you want.

By the way – Detroit, Philadelphia and Chicago are just three of the most dangerous places to live in America.  Will the children be placed in those cities?

“Power Corrupts – Absolute power corrupts absolutely!”

 

 

 

A few thoughts about prisoner model, Marky Mark, consumerism, America’s Got Talent, my dog (not in that order!)

July 7, 2014

I do not like the prisoner who has recently signed a modeling contract – that should NOT be allowed from prison. He does not look handsome to me – but on the contrary – quite monsterous. Some women can be blind, and sold by the media’s portrait of what is handsome. Don’t forget, this man is EVIL. I can see it in his eyes. He is not a handsome devil – just a representative of him. He is a gang member and an evil man – how sexy is it when you picture him murdering or raping someone? That is what gang members do!
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Crudite pronounced crude-de-ta)-it’s French. Why do I mention it? Several reasons!
I heard it and was curious what it meant. When I don’t know a word, or can’t spell it, I use the computer to help me out. My curiousity just drives me nuts if I can’t find out what something means.

I must be a peasant (that’s not pheasant-my father used to hunt those little birds☺. I am a commoner. What it means is this: Vegetable platter.
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Come to think of it, I heard it while watching “America’s Got Talent”. I am quite selective about the television I do watch, but this show is really “entertaining”. The judges are quite likeable because they seem to get a long well, and give the personna of actually caring about the talent.

The hour is loaded with some very talented individuals, and also some who I think are on there just to be on television. It is a great diversion from the trials and stress of everyday living – and about ninety-nine percent children friendly.

Used to hate Howard Stern as he had a radio show / television too, I think – and he was a nasty woman demeaning pig. He used filthy language and was pretty disgusting. omen to him were just playthings and he was quite negative (it’s been a while) He seems now earnest in his honest and nice demeanor. But then again, we are fooled every day and in every way – aren’t we?
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I am becoming way too attached to our Rotteweiler. When I was injured she stayed with me, and the only time we have been separated is when I go to the doctor. In cool weather she goes in the car, but when “the heat is on” she stays home. (Are you old enough to remember that song: “the heat is on”?)

She layed on the bed with me from the moment I came home from the hospital. She is gentle and watches me carefully as I work my way from room to room. She actually has become my “baby girl”! OH NO!

Purebreds have a shorter life span and hers, if I am fortunate, hopefully she has another five or six years.

I know when she dies I will have to go through a rough period of time – but I also know it is the natural way of things.

We in America love our pets and really, for most, they become a definite part of the family. My daughter (in law) from Morocco, had never been in a home with a dog.
She was very frightened at first, but now loves her and trusts her gentleness.
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Have you ever seen Marky Mark His name is actually Mark Wahlberg, now a well known actor. Check him out on you tube, in you are so inclined, and see if you like him as a rapper. I don’t care for rap (mostly), but he is like watching dessert! Now was one kind of sexy to me there (and we do each have our own tastes). He actually has become a good actor, is very funny, and also a producer. I am not “entranced” by “stars”,
however, I do appreciate anyone with talent.

Keep in mind ADVERTISING is alive to make corporations and individuals rich. There are no miracle drugs to keep you young, vitamins are in question, and every workout created may help you to keep fit, but years will take a toll anyway – that is the way of life.

Advertisers are made to make us consumers. They want to capture our “collective” heart and imagination, and sway us to their products.

Big Brother wants us so connected to our technology that we are afraid to turn our machines off, or not have them with us. Look around you. See the separation of man and woman, mother and child, and human to human. We have all been sucked into the “need” to be connected to technology. Here I am writing on my blog!

But I have “technology free time and space”. Everyone should. It will enlighten, relax, and help you keep your sanity. That is absolute.
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Listen-to-your-inner-voice. Do-not-let-others-judge-you.jpg

June 2, 2014

DREAMS

May 7, 2014

This is my six-hundred and twenty-third post.  You may think it a bit bizarre, but once in a while, I may be a bit bizarre!

Here I am again, armed withwords, ready to spew forth on paper, from the depth of my dreams the last couple of nights, what needs for me to be released.

Dreams have been a vast portion of my life. For eons dreams have been considered prophecy, or the brain settling in on incidents in a persons life. They have even been considered nonsensical, to have no meaning at all.

They mean something to me. In my life I had two two specific queries I put in my prayers. I needed immediate help with answers, and awoke at four in the morning with my answers. I immediately wrote the dreams on paper, and forthwith followed those answers to perfection.

My dreams have ALWAYS been my “other” life, taking me to places I have never seen and introducing me to peoples I have never met. Ninety-nine percent of the time I have loved my dreams and often wished I could stay in them. On occasion I have closed my eyes and once again returned to the places of my dreams.

I rarely forget my dreams, and only once in a while are they confusing. The best part of my dreams, ever, is flying. There is something in my living soul that makes me feel if I could just remember how – I could fly. I remember lifting off the ground and the positions I was in, and even the places I have flown in my dreams.

Well the past two nights were not so light. If you think I am insane, I am to a certain extent, I think we all have a “touch” of insanity. A human factor that sometimes can be unsettling.

I have no evil in me. Of that I am certain. Just still a “believer” in human kind,  and sometimes that has caused me to make terrible choices. Also, I admit, I have justified certain events in my life so I could “allow” myself to do whatever it was I justified. Big mistake. Alcohol was always involved in my worst mistakes (my husband calls alcohol “devil juice).

This first dream fogs in on a man I once knew who was evil. He was the epitome of evil.

He could make you believe there was good in him, and after a while, would draw you into his scheme of things. He hurt everyone that was in his life.

I bought into his program and wound up marrying him. We were married two years before I realized he was an alcoholic that sat in bars all day while I worked. He was a cheat, and a liar.

I could write a book about the five years I tossed into the trash can, but I survived and learned that which I need never have learned! This man died ten years ago, and it has been over thirty years since I was with him. He killed himself with alcohol and drugs, as he was facing prison for abusing and stealing from the elderly.

Still, he has never left me alone. When he died he was the first person I felt no regret for his death. I only felt relief because he would never hurt anyone again. But in my dreams he has surfaced time and time again.

Each time he was up to his old tricks.   After the dreams I always awoke with the feeling that I wished he would leave me alone! I wondered how long this would go on.

Well night before last it ended. Somehow in this fog we were near a lake – there were inlets and small boats traversing hidden coves. I was not privy to how I killed him, but in my dream he was reduced to a small packet (about the size of a baseball card), and he was dead. I tried to get rid of the card by throwing it in the water, but it floated.

So I took it up and wandered around trying to finish him for good.

There was a campfire close by, not really the kind in a pit, but in a deep barrel. It was burning hotly. I threw the packet in the white-hot fire and he was gone, burnt to ashes.

I knew he would never be back and I felt safe.

Upon waking I was startled, not because I remembered my dreams, but because I knew he would never bother them again. It was finished.

Last night in my dreams I was on crutches, ambling on foot through an unfamiliar town.

I limped past bars, and heard loud voices trying to “out volume” each other. I made it through stores that were closed, and began to walk on the sidewalk. It was going uphill, and I tired, so I went into a store that carried just about everything.

It was busy, but very interesting. I got to the back of the store and saw a green velvet chair that looked very comfortable. I sat down and noticed a pile of large photo albums stacked next to me. I randomly picked one up, and when I looked at the first photo I realized it was pertaining to me, and all that has been in my life, to this point. I turned each page and was fascinated to see all those who have crossed my path, and those who have been in my life for a long while.

About half was through I began to see photographs that were less than photos you would put in your album. Large photographs that reflected things in my life that was prior to this between only me, God, and maybe one or two other human beings. Certainly photographs that I don’t remember, but they were all inclusive as to reflect the times in my life I would rather keep to myself. It was humbling and also a revelation to see experiences and reflections of “another me”.

Somehow, when I awoke, I felt that it was all revealed, and that I am now never to be bothered by the man who haunted my dreams, and that I would never again lean towards a diminishing of my Spirit, nor waste a moment of this precious life. It has been a cleansing two nights, and now that I have written it on paper, things that I will not have to see or review again…for now.

If you dream you will understand. If you don’t, I hope at least I have been able to air my dreams and share with you two nights that I believe are very important in my life.

As I said earlier in the post, sometimes my dreams are so very wonderful I never want to wake up! I call my dreams, “My other life”. I will fly again. So now do you think I am mad?

Have a beautiful day and do not toss to the wind a moment of your life. The moments of your life do the “flying” and I want them to be filled with joy and unrelenting good! You don’t have to be a saint, but be kind, be wise, love mightily, and forgive those who have made mistakes and are trying to go on the right path. That does not mean you have to “hang out” with them, but if you do not forgive, it only hurts you! Be kind to you.

Thanks reading my post! I will write again soon, and one never knows, it may again touch on dreams or who knows what!

 

 

May 2, 2014

Just a quick Thursday good morning, afternoon or evening to you . The days are flying by and I have been trying to complete six books before it’s time to die. No one knows when that will happen and I have spent most of my life writing so I determined sometime after my accident no one will finish what it’s taken me years to write – except me!

Believe it or not they are mostly written – the most difficult part is proofing, making covers and getting everything just right to be put on Amazon. I had a contract with a publishing company for one of my books – the one on how to care for an aging parent – but they sat on it for seven years and I am blessed those years just finished.

I have reconciled, to accept my disabilities as permanent-only because of my faith in God, and my tenacious drive for life, can I do this.  It was a year ago today I was in surgery with a great neurosurgeon (thank you Lord) and getting my back fixed after a burst compression fracture.  I could be completely paralyzed, or dead!

To accept my disabilities as permanent is difficult, but not impossible. Such is life. It isn’t always what we expect, but I expect the best, and perhaps my vision will be clearer now that I am unable to dance all over the place! I can walk (it’s not a very pretty walk), and I have to use a can, and I can write. I can dance in a way, and surely in my head.

I am a stubborn little woman, and my husband still says, after 26 years, a hand full.

So the books will be done within this year. That is my determination. This is what they are:

  1. Lessons in Love – about taking care of a parent, giving them happiness until they die, and not going crazy or getting exhausted in the process. It’s kind of a love story about me caring for my mama for ten years – and we both gained from it!

I am exhausted tonight so I will ignore any typos (sorry!)

2.Whiskeyton. Has nothing to do with Whiskey! This photography- views of a lake and the surrounding mountains from a kayak. Took me from 2004-20011 to get all the photographs, and there will be inspiration (I hope) with each photo, and a Bible verse below. I think, whether you believe in the Bible or not, it is a great book for training in life. It will be for children and adults.

3. The Last Resort – Photographs (again), a  view of the homeless in my area, and of course some interviews and thoughts on the scenario.

4.  Toll 63 – a very interesting book about the lives of an oilman in the early days, a disabled and vibrant young woman, and what transpires when they join forces.  It progresses and follows the life of one of their twins.  The time spans from 1916 to this very day!  I love it so far – do you think I am predjudice?

4.  The Best Bedtime Stories. Positive and fun, the stories are done and I am just waiting for the illustrations.

5.  Poetry, Prose and Private Property.  This book could spares no details and touches every aspect of being human!

I am not trying to brag, there are so many unbelievable authors, but I feel good about my work.  I feel like it is from the heart, experience, and always with a positive overtone – no matter how difficult the experience.

Therein is why my posts have been thin in nature.

I am not trying to brag, but I am not a “salesperson” and if I don’t know the quality of my own “products” I should not sell!  I do think God gives each of us a gift and I am working hard at using it!

Well, that’s it for now. Just an update as to where I have been. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE – don’t waste a second of your precious life in anger, fear, or hate. It is NOT WORTH IT as you truly will be the one who pays the big price.

LOVE ONE ANOTHER. I love you for reading! I love you for being my brother and sister human beings! God bless you and your families. I mean it sincerely!