Posts Tagged ‘Aging’

Everything Physical

May 23, 2017

I awoke this morning after my horrific awake/dream (yesterdays post), and my first thought was a song “I have Jesus in my heart – you take Him too”. ..Well that was my first thought…so I climbed out of bed singing as I got a big drink of water and now a cup of coffee next to me.

My husband told me my struggle waking yesterday morning may have just been a continuation of my dream until I sat up. It is a possibility, though I firmly believe I was awake going from dream to physical reality.

My second thought this morning was physical…my back hurt and the pain (which is with me now until I pass on..) just is the way it is, so “boo-hoo”, everyone suffers. I will try to handle this within me. Why pass on the pain? I would rather pass on the joys and revelations of life.

The thought was not actually about my pain, it was about how physical pain transfers to mental anguish.  And that isn’t “just mental?,” you might think . Systems in our body function as a finely tuned violin. When one system is amiss, it does affect all others. Perhaps not immediately or constantly, but when the blood flows differently (say a blockage, or damages to the nerves that sit in proximity to the blood flow and the muscles) – You may realize Mind / Body / Spirit is not just a clever word mix, it is the absolute truth!

Sometimes I can actually feel the blood flow in my head or other parts of my body. I am in sync with feeling (or not feeling because of nerves) certain things that are happening to my body.  Listen to your body. Work with it.

As a former personal trainer and dancer, the fact that most of both my feet have severe nerve damage as a residual from breaking my back, is paramount to me. Aside from pain, numbness and a clumsy attempt to walk (as if I am actually able to balance without a cane 🙂 all affect me mentally as well….I don’t mean my mood, but the activity of my brain and other parts of my body.   Poor activity in my feet- unable to feel, blood flow perhaps, numbness in various parts of my body TRULY affects my mental state (as in “boy am I mental” (haha – that’s a given!)  and my physical state – because things don’t work properly -my entire being, is actually affected. Hence, Mind/body/spirit.

Somehow in re-reading that last paragraph, I think it might need changing…hope you find clarity in my meaning.  I am scattered today.

Think about it. Cut yourself some slack if you just don’t feel as good as you once did because of injuries or accidents or the aging process. Its probably not your fault…so don’t fret about it. You STILL have 100 percent. choice of how you respond to all these life altering events…..that is a huge gift!

Choose happiness always. Choose patience and understanding of YOUR OWN plight. Choose to understand that probably few really can step into to your shoes, though there are some that absolutely can physically! Wherein, you can excel until the day you die, and that is the use of your POWER of choice to behold life still in the best of terms. I have an advantage because I have a hidden source of constant help with the Holy Spirit within…seriously my best friend and help mate.

USE the magical gifts you perceive, dream of and pursue….All can STILL be achieved if you are “Mental” like I am. My husband says I live in Disneyland….join me, it is just a heck of a lot more fun, and WHY NOT? It’s just life!  Of course I can’t do everything I’ve always done, but it is fun to meet and rise above any challenge that faces me.  At least try!

Please take in a deep breath. Shout out an Amen (it means “so be it”) and now a BIG SMILE – just because you can! Back at you…..

This is a post I have republished before….HUMOR. My girlfriend’s complaints about aging.

August 26, 2016

Why is the only hair on my body that hasn’t turned gray the long black hair growing from my nose?

Why didn’t anyone ever tell me that not only would everything “drop” as I aged, but my feet would also get bigger?

Why was I only told my bones would get weaker as I aged, and not that I would grow bony protrusions and knobby outgrowths everywhere on my body?

Why didn’t anybody tell me I would not only gain more wisdom than ever in my lifetime, but no body would listen to me?

How did I somehow miss that men not only loose their hair and get a receding hairline – but women often do as well?

I thought only Pinocchio’s nose grew bigger.

Why is it when you successfully age with good health no one will honor that with reasonable life insurance…every year I stay healthy my insurance rates go up!

You know the joy of having less hair to shave on your legs when you age is diminished by the fact all that hair grows on your face.

“Smile wrinkles” show you are happy. That’s crap. Just another group of wrinkles on your face.

I can eat the same food I always did, exercise the same, and still, when I look into the mirror I can see the fat accumulating on my stomach, hips and thighs. If I try to loose weight more wrinkles appear – gain it – my boobs hang down even further.

Shirley Temple can have dimples.   I am sick of the dimples all over my body. And no matter what anybody tries to sell you – they will never go away once you have them!

Okay stop eating candy and rub cream all over your legs. The dimples will still increase and you won’t get to eat your sugar quota or have the money to buy it!

Being a grandma is great. Being the built in baby sitter isn’t.

I was in the yard picking up dog poop (with a shovel of course), and also getting rid of mushrooms that grow wild and can be poisonous to dogs. . “Ah ah”, I thought, “two of those huge mushrooms right in front of me.” I picked them up, and to my dismay, it was two firm pieces of dog poop! One thing about not using your glasses when you get older is you don’t see as well without them.

The next time I went out, it was with glasses on. I love autumn – all the colors, and the crunch of leaves beneath my feet. What I don’t love is picking up dog poop with my hand for the second time, thinking it was acorns! Guess it’s time to get new glasses.

I went to the doctor a few days ago. I knew I would be hooked up to acupuncture needles and laying flat on my tummy for 30 minutes, so I thought since I was loaded with nasty gas, I would step into the hall and relieve myself quickly before being called in. I looked to the right and up the stairs and released a loud and long fart. I had forgotten to look to the left – there was a woman a couple of feet away on her cell phone. I tried to pretend it didn’t happen and slipped back into the office quickly.

I remember when I was married to an ass, one time we were at our son’s pack meeting for cub scouts, sitting in the very back of a crowed room. He thought he would be funny and let a loud and enormous fart and turned to me and called my name loudly – and indignantly…. as if I’d done it. Everyone looked at me. Some giggled and others looked disgusted. He paid for that one later.

Why is it my nose is running all the time now, and with no place to go. The world gets more enclosed as you get older. Most people walk by and go “Ugh, an old person.” They try to get away quick as if they will catch being old. Well here is the news people, if you don’t get old you are dead!

I saw a commercial with two old people flirting, dancing and kissing. Even I was appalled. Take it to a motel, and make it one with no mirrors on the closet doors – follow the new adage – “what happens in the motel, stays in the motel.”

Lastly in my list of complaints about aging…I think the funniest of all. My girlfriend said she didn’t have her glasses on and she brushed her teeth with hemorrhoid cream. She said it made her gag and almost throw up. That’s not the funniest thing about this – she did it twice.! WEAR YOUR GLASSES GIRLFRIEND!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ninety-five years old

May 24, 2013

There is a gal in the next hospital bed who is ninety five years old.  She’s been in here for a couple of weeks.  She had a stroke.  Every day she is going to speech therapy and occupational therapy.  She cracked me up the other day.  She was sitting on the bed and I looked over at her and asked, “How was your day today?”  She looked at me sternly and replied:  “What do you care!”  I was just about to think she was cross, and she looked at me and broke up in laughter….it was a joke.  She cracked herself up too!  We’ve been buddies ever since she played her little joke.  Laughter is healing medicine.

When you get up tomorrow, stretch and smile and think “it is going to be a wonderful day.”

I’ll do the same – I promise!

She’s not aging with grace, that’s for sure!

June 6, 2012

A friend of mine isn’t taking the aging process with a smile.  I had to jot down things she’s said over the past year as she has had me in hysterics….and now afraid of getting old!  Enjoy!

———————————-

…Why is the only hair on my body that hasn’t turned gray the long black hair growing from my nose?

…Why didn’t anyone ever tell me that not only would everything “drop” as I aged, but my feet would also get bigger?

…Why was I only told my bones would get weaker as I aged, and not that I would grow bony protrusions and knobby outgrowths everywhere on my body?

…Why didn’t anybody tell me I would not only gain more wisdom than ever in my lifetime, but no body would listen to me?

…How did I somehow miss that men not only loose their hair and get a receding hairline – but women often do as well?

…I thought only Pinocchio’s nose grew bigger.

…Why is it when you successfully age with good health no one will honor that with reasonable life insurance…every year I stay healthy my insurance rates go up!

…You know the joy of having less hair to shave on your legs when you age is diminished by the fact all that hair grows on your face.

…”Smile wrinkles” show you are happy.  That’s crap.  Just another group of wrinkles on your face.

…I can eat the same food I always did, exercise the same, and still, when I look into the mirror I can see the fat accumulating on my stomach, hips and thighs. If I try to loose weight more wrinkles appear – gain it – my boobs hang down even further.

…Shirley Temple can have dimples.   I am sick of the dimples all over my body.  And no matter what anybody tries to sell you – they will never go away once you have them!

…Okay stop eating candy and rub cream all over your legs.  The dimples will still increase and you won’t get to eat your sugar quota or have the money to buy it!

…Being a grandma is great.  Being the built in baby sitter isn’t.

…I was in the yard picking up dog poop (with a shovel of course), and also getting rid of mushrooms that grow wild and can be poisonous to dogs. .  “Ah ah”, I thought, “two of those huge mushrooms right in front of me.”  I picked them up, and to my dismay, it was two firm pieces of dog poop! One thing about not using your glasses when you get older is you don’t see as well without them.So the next time I went out, it was with glasses on.  I love autumn – all the colors, and the crunch of leaves beneath my feet.  What I don’t love is picking up dog poop with my hand for the second time, thinking it was acorns!  Guess it’s time to get new glasses.

…I went to the doctor a few days ago. I knew I would be hooked up to acupuncture needles and laying flat on my tummy for 30 minutes, so I thought since I was loaded with nasty gas, I would step into the hall and relieve myself quickly before being called in.  I looked to the right and up the stairs and released a loud and long fart.  I had forgotten to look to the left – there was a woman a couple of feet away on her cell phone.  I tried to pretend it didn’t happen and slipped back into the office quickly.

…I remember when I was married to an ass, one time we were at our son’s pack meeting for cub scouts, sitting in the very back of a crowded room.  He thought he would be funny and let a loud and enormous fart and turned to me and called my name loudly – and indignantly…. as if I’d done it.  Everyone looked at me.  Some giggled and others looked disgusted.  He paid for that one later.

…Why is it my nose is running all the time now, and with no place to go.

…The world gets more enclosed as you get older.  Most people walk by and go “Ugh, an old person.”  They try to get away quick as if they will catch being old.  Well here is the news people, if you don’t get old you are dead!

…I saw a commercial with two old people flirting, dancing and kissing.  Even I was appalled.  Take it to a motel, and make it one with no mirrors on the closet doors – follow the new adage – “what happens in the motel, stays in the motel.”

…I am not complaining because I still have my own teeth, but I will wear my glasses next time I brush.  Hemorrhoid cream may work for hemorrhoids, but it tastes  like crap when you brush your teeth with it.  Not once, but twice!  Got to wear those glasses!

…I really can’t complain because no one will give a damn until they are standing in my shoes – trying to look taller because old people shrink!

…This is it; really!

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I asked permission to publish this and she said yes.  After reading it she looked at me and said, “I’m pretty funny, aren’t I?”

“YES, you are!  Now go get in trouble somewhere so I can write about that!”