Posts Tagged ‘destiny’

Why keep trying?

April 28, 2007

WHY KEEP TRYING?

When I’ve gone too far and my back is screaming at me, sometimes I wonder WHY KEEP TRYING?

Then I lie upon my bed and put heat on my back. I set my laptop on my lap and remember to be grateful I have a bed – and grateful I have a heating pad. I am grateful I have a laptop to be able to still do what I love; to write and to learn.

When the nerve damage in my body is so overwhelming I can hardly walk, and the pain is hot like fire, sometimes I wonder WHY KEEP TRYING?

Then I remember that I still have legs and feet. I can still walk. So many of our young people have come home from war without limbs at all. So many my heart truly aches for them and their families.

When I am forced to endure treatments that help keep me from dying. Treatments that can be painful and almost unbearable, I wonder WHY KEEP TRYING?

Then I remember looking up at the full moon and seeing the night lit with diamonds in the sky. I remember the feeling when I hugged my young grandchildren – to have them so close and looking into their eyes I see pure love for me.

When I start to feel sorry for myself because I can no longer be “free” – trapped within this limited body-yet with a mind that yearns to climb a mountain and feel the wind in my hair as I ride my bike down a hill, sometimes I wonder WHY KEEP TRYING?

I remember last night, sitting near my husband in the evening and having a conversation that still rings fresh and alive, as if we had just begun our lifetime love affair, 28 years later.

I hear the bells on the collar of my puppy as he darts down the hallway squeaking a toy, and see my older dog look at me with love, and the same questions I have- “am I still important? Do I still have a place? Do you still love me?”

Without a doubt I love her. I love my husband, and my children and grandchildren. I love so many fleeting moments and remember it is up to me to keep loving find the beauty in all things, and make each moment matter  After all, I was born to believe and love, and nothing can stop me from fulfilling my destiny. I can still be kind.  I can still explore the world and the hearts of other human beings.

It is all a matter of choice.  What can be easier than that!   I choose life!  I choose abundant and happy life. I  have a mind, I have a heart, I have parts of me that work perfectly, and I have a survival instinct that came with the package!!
GOD BLESS YOU, and GOD BLESS ME TOO!  CREATE A WONDERFUL DAY!