Posts Tagged ‘dying’

A Dream

February 8, 2018

I had a dream, and then another and another – night after night, month after month, year after year. Years turned to decades and I found myself dreaming, still.

Life changed the dreams from beautiful flights of fancy to tears sometimes. Everything in my waking hours turned to dreams. All memories bound together by darkness and restless eyes.

Dreams turned to acknowledgements, wisdom, wishes and the still hope lay in the path to fly again. I saw the future of the core of humans still aspiring, and of those who lost their way. I saw minds turn to stone and move like robots over the dying planet.

I had a dream. All the youthful errors were brought to light and the heart of my heart shone above all others on the browning planet. He was stable and like a rock. He was true, and I was his child and Spiritual friend. All others dissipated like fog in late morning.

I was old and disabled. I passed by a woman who scowled and resented everything. I told her to try to smile. I told her it would make all easier and love would come to her.

I watched young and robust and healthy young woman pivot and turn, with grace and ease. I cried for the exchange of freedom in movement to truth coming. I knew.

I dreamed of the multilevel domes they called stacks. I could see everything outside from within.
Across the glass bridge, everything was transparent and I ran and skipped across it and back to the dome.

Within the confines, which felt limitless, I found myself turning like the tiny ballerina on the music box, again and again I moved with the music in my mind. I spun around the top level of the dome, never faltering, never less than steady. When I stopped I looked at the sky outside and knew I would fly again soon.

“If I could just remember how”, I thought. “I would gently lift, and with my head tilted towards the sky I would put my arms back beside my body. then back further, with fingers together and hands relaxed, still parallel to my body, but behind it now, I would pick up speed and gentle altitude – between the old buildings, now higher in the sky.
Above the empty cities, turning with arms out to my side, above the mountains, above where the green and blue once joined in gentle landscape.”

I remember once I lifted and rose and left the earth.  I flew over the pasture.  I looked down and I was above the goats and cows, and the small farmhouse.  I could smell the fresh green grass and hear the creek below.  I could feel the breeze.  I don’t remember how I came back to my body, but there I lay, still awake in the bed. I listened to the barking of dogs. There were no drugs, no alcohol, yet I had, while fully awake, tasted freedom –  from a time I was restricted to bed to heal from injuries when I had been hit in my car.  I think it was a gift to still my restless heart and strengthen my faith.

I knew I would someday remember again. I was there already within my mind. I flew over small institution cubes where the workers could be monitored, and the core of the common man now lived. Everything had changed. I could see it was near the time.

I lived my life and learned all of it. I did not choose an easy end. I fulfilled my time with grace and still a soft heart.

I awoke and was glad my dreams had finally left me. For so many years in waking hours my mind lived in both the awake world and the dream world. I could not forget either.
But I was meant to learn my lessons and I was tenacious and hungry still for adventure.

I slept and dreamed. I awoke and the light was brilliant. I had seen so many faces in the walls, and floors. I could not be alone and awake, and daydream for a moment that the faces of multitudes did not appear to me.

I was glad to forsake my day on planet earth. I was glad to give up the freedom and treacheries of my dreams. I was glad to be without form in Spirit alone. I knew I was dead. I was finally “as it should be”; as it will be for all – as it is destined to be.

The sky was blue. The stars were really diamonds shining in rainbows of colors, and I could rest and bounce from cloud to cloud. I saw Spirits that had left me. I knew there were Spirits to come. I saw the Man of Sacrifice and Love, and He was the light, and His father still watched over it all. I knew it had been worth it all and I could not recall the time of pain and suffering.

I felt snuggled in love, embraced with truth. I could fly again. Home at last.

I awoke.