Posts Tagged ‘evil’

Another Dream

June 10, 2017

Write while its fresh in your mind, write what you dream if you plan to do so. Easy for me as my dreams remain with me for days, weeks, and sometimes years. Often the same characters and the same location. Different scenarios though – although I have wakened and when I again slept gone back to complete or continue a dream.

They are always in color and always memorable in one way or another – very infrequently are they “bad” – though a few nights ago I had one that was, and it was sketchy in my mind the next day.

I share my dreams with my husband, but certain ones like I can only see in my mind…and it would seem confusing if I tried to explain them. My father dreamed every night in his life, as I do. I never sleep without dreaming. My mama never dreamed, nor does my husband…or they don’t remember them.

Night before last my dream was one of those dreams so broken I could not explain it. Last night was a bad dream, but also it ended in a message, I believe.. Not for me, but perhaps someone.
I remember my poor husband (who works so hard, and simply needs a good night sleep – waking me up because I was talking and yelling. He said, “Honey, its only a dream. Wake up.”
He’s done that several times in the last months – had to wake me and assure me. He says I now talk a lot in my dreams.

Confusing to him, but not to me. I needed to write this one down. The initial part of the dream was taken back to times in memory that were difficult and challenging. I dealt with an evil person who deceived me wholly. He was a con artist, and I bought what he was selling….of course you know where this took me! It took me down a path I did not want to be, and part of my life that time was in reality a nightmare.

I won’t go into depth but my education was increased triple fold, and my heart, though nearly broken at times, mended and I grew stronger because of the time. It took a five year bite out of my life, and affected myself and in a part larger group of people than I knew (I am just being honest) – I inadvertently hurt my children and led them down a path of some confusion too. What we sow we reap. A statement much more important than is given credit.

So often my dreams take me to “this part of my life”, because the truth of is, all the good you do in life does not erase or totally mend the pain of errors in major choices. We can only grow and move onward and upward. It did not make me hard against life, I promised God, but it made me resilient, tough, and stronger.

Back to the dream. There was an event that was a major celebration of some sort. It seemed as if it were a gathering of new friends and old friends. I could feel the excitement of camaraderie, and a spirt of anticipation. I think there was music in the distance, but it was unclear what kind.

I saw people drinking too much and bending one another’s ears with embellishments of truth and success. There were smaller groups gathering in quieter discussions. The celebration was outside.

I had come with the con artist, and could not find that evil man who I had been duped by again. He had quietly disappeared. Since the friends were gathered outside, there were small roadways nearby and many cars parked closely. The the moon was in quarters and the stars seemed to explode in color.

Without warning something happened, and this wasn’t clear, but people began screaming and there were injuries and fatalities. ( I am sure this particular incident correlated with what has actually been happening with the recent attacks and innocents dying. We are all affected by that which we see and hear, some more than others.)

I began to yell because I saw someone I cared for unable to recover from the injuries, and I saw this evil man had returned and was arm and arm with someone else! He sneered and looked at me without emotion. At that point I realized the alcohol had taken him and destroyed what little he had initially. He had fooled everyone. I should have known…..but I was once again, in denial. Denial of the truth had become deadly. I had been blinded by sweet words and beautiful lies.

I am not sure what I said or screamed, but at that moment I came alive and saw that which I had been denying for my own justification of circumstances. Mike woke me and took me from the dream momentarily.

How closely this connected today and yesterday in reality…but this was a dream. My mind coming to conclusions and preeminent warnings.

I found myself being directed by a medical professional to wait and then be transported to a home in an older neighborhood that had been turned into a medical facility. There was a pad for the copter to land.

The facility was not for physical injuries, but for STDs that needed to be treated immediately for a woman (or man). Apparently he or she could face potentially life altering / or life-threatening ramifications.

(Let me be clear that I seemed to have been protected in my true reality. The evil person that I had fallen for “could” have passed along many different problems to me because of his unfaithful and bisexual behaviors. I only found this out towards the end of this disastrous time I spent in folly!)

The dream ended with me sitting on a couch in a small room in the home. I was awaiting treatment. There was a large area in the center that was outside, and actually individual rooms around it that made it kind of became a donut shaped facility.

In the dream, as I sat waiting my poor choices flashed in segments before me as I thought of the seeds of evil I had accepted. Without consciously knowing, I had chosen this path. I later realized I justified it because of the wildness and pleasure factors. The alcohol introduced to me during the time had made the whole mess easier to accept. I thought I would never choose that path again. The doctor walked in.

I awoke at 6:30. I thought the last thoughts in the dream were actually my thoughts in that true reality. I realized how fortunate I had been to escape “whole”, and actually to escape at all. By the grace of God I am alive.

I was exhausted and closed my eyes and slept until the dog awoke me at 9AM. The point of sharing this….not sure, but perhaps a reminder to be certain your choices are solid and that you are not justifying your reasoning. You WILL pay for your choices, even many years down the road.

Keep in mind STDs are REAL. Use good judgment because you can loose your life and happiness by subjecting yourself to the “chance” of getting an STD – or pregnant for that matter!
About 70% or more of human beings have herpes gotten from unprotected sex! If you aren’t in that percentage, look up “herpes”…not a joke. I KNOW you have heard of HIV/AIDs.

Holly weird and many of the magazines today seem to promote sex (like it needs any promotion!)…and alcohol. PLEASE be aware much of what you see and hear originate from the aim of making the almighty dollar. The “star” power may say they stand for something, yet they still make movies with rapes, violence, chain smoking and loose morals – like its normal.
They still promote gays and lesbians, bisexuals and transexuals like it is “the common fact” and not a mere .05% of the population!

KEEP YOUR OWN SENSIBILITIES and live a more fulfilled life. Follow no other human being than your own knowledge of what is right and wrong. No one who says “I love you” (and means it) will ask you to change your personal belief system or philosophy about life!  Pick the path you follow….Do not be star-struck and do not be brainwashed!  You CAN BE a shining star….just BE YOURSELF.  That is the best of you.  Stop questioning the fact you have doubts…we all do.  But you are the only one of you in the world!

By the way, all these “stars” and politicians who declare guns should have more restrictions…have armed body guards, live in gated communities, and have no fear of that which the peasants endure. I include myself in this group.

THAT IS IT for now! Live a great life. IT IS ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE…if not in each scenario, in each RESPONSE…absolutely!

Love you!

 

 

 

Begin Again for the Last Time

April 25, 2017

Being human includes having all the flaws, pain, and trials one can endure. Those first two humans, in my realm of beliefs,  wanted to know all about the things that make God, God. They wanted to taste of evil and that old snake satan was right there as he is now – prodding and pushing.

I am in the most weakened state of my life now  You can see some scars physically, and are aware of changes mentally.  I believed when I awoke this morning, something may have finally severed any real dreams, or chances of dreams I still had.  Memories besmeared, future questionable, and heart nearly broken in half.  Life has put me in a pit again.

No one can possibly know what disabilities I deal wit, that manifest each day as I awake and wonder if I want to get out of bed at all, or go back to sleep, “perchance to dream”.

I won’t tell anyone the extent of my injuries.  It would be impossible to explain anyway.  They didn’t just begin with my back bursting. Life managed to seep into my thoughts and like a baby near the edge of a high staircase, someone let go of my hand when I was just a young woman and I fell down the stairs, hitting my head and scraping my arms and legs. I knew I was hurt but the baby just kept crawling up the stairs to see what was at the top. Again and again my immaturity, or selfishness, or fear of overwhelming pain physically and mentally again, tossed me down the stairs….sometimes in the air all the way to the bottom, and sometimes hitting each step squarely – and hard!  Somehow I always managed to pull myself together and begin to crawl upward again!

I saw so many humans falling and as I grew I tried to push and pull, and help them back up the stairs. My heart grew weary, but I was tenacious – broken bones, swollen limbs and mental exhaustion never stopped me.  Hesitation and fear – yes!  Desire to feel the wonder of life again manifest through “events” seemed to keep me trying….

The God Unknown, knew my name. He kept calling, yet I kept falling….prey to a mis-step of a different kind each time.

Life’s temptations masqueraded into glorious apparitions. The snake lay in wait for a moment of weakness, and I found myself tumbling down the stairs again and again. Though my life was going by me so fast my vision was blurred, I kept on it. I kept crawling up the stairs, which now wound round and round, and increased in numbers and difficulty. I wanted to get to the top.

I could hear a sweet voice that beckoned my heart and I pushed upward, amidst a crowded group of people – some trying with me, and others running the other way. Confusion struck hearts like bolts of lightening. I watched with horror as some fell from above me and turning my head I saw I could do nothing to help as I watched them falling far beyond my vision, and still falling as I lost sight of them. I could barely help myself.

Still I turned and began the climb once more. It was almost more than I could endure, and the solitude I had known was replaced with a shrieking and loud voices above and below me. I turned and sat as the stairs had grown much larger now, and I found just enough space to sit and bend my elbows so I could put my head down and cry. I weeped, I wailed, the wet tears
drenched my clothes and I tried to wipe them with my arms so no one would slip on the now, almost vertical stairs…so small my foot needed to turn sideways to fit.

I prayed. I couldn’t move from my exhaustion and delusions bursting in my head. What I had known-wasn’t. What I had believed was in part lies- so many lies that fooled me. So many falls because I had blinded myself to run away from all the pain. I thought it was the end of me. I thought this was my eternity. Climbing, forever climbing.

I sat. It was as if I was a baby again and I was alone on the stairs. I felt a large hand from above grasp my shoulder. I turned and the hand clasp mine and began to gently pull me to the next stair going upward.

I was a blend of thoughts and visions, experiences and horrors…..beauty and hope. I could see
the top of the stairs just a few steps away now. The voice at the top spoke to me, saying “I’ve done what I can throughout the years. I chose to silently be the push you needed throughout your life, and sometimes the pull. I haven’t given up on you, but these last steps are steps that you must take alone. I will be there but It is time. I will be waiting”

“ I expect to see you when the time comes for you to arrive. In the meanwhile, feel free to speak to me, I hope in gratitude for my company all these years, but the power with which you will take these steps, though few, will be the most difficult of all. Do not expect it otherwise.”

“Do not be befuddled with illusive worry about everything. All those things will work for the best-in my time. I know many who have yet to know me. Trust me. Those who have brushed next to you, those who have been a part of you, those who know Love, know me, and those Spirits are a kin and will be just fine. Trust me, I say again. Keep endeavoring to reach the top; they will be there in my time. I expect to see you. I expect no less.”