Posts Tagged ‘fear’

Another night, Another world

July 18, 2018

Everyone had been hanging around, waiting patiently because they knew something was going to happen. You could hear the crackling of the power lines. No one knew why, but suddenly, atop the massive pillar of iron, sparks flew and the light became more intense.

People kept coming out of the building sitting directly next to the tower. It reminded me of the iron oil wells daddy used to drill, in times gone by.

I was certain there must have been a ladder that had been welded for workers to reach the top, which was at least as tall as the old red building that held at least four hundred people when the “season” was here.

I spoke to a man, none of us were strangers any more, as we all were drawn together by the hypnotic sounds and sights. It was a show of power…one that was mystical as no one knew what was to come; there was a high level of fear as to what actually would happen. The crackling became louder and more intense. The light was steady and creating shadows of various forms from the things projected in the black of the night.

I walked around, not even sure why I was there, but one thing I knew for sure was that same man who had invaded my dreams so many times was there. I heard his voice faintly in the background repeating my name – and saying, “Where are you? I will find you.”

It was at that moment I bolted, I dodged a group of mixed human beings (meaning ages, colors, and sizes) – a mix of all the creation of mankind. They turned and looked briefly as I said, “I am sorry, excuse me, pardon me.” I had always been polite. Polite and considerate of others. I was born a good girl, and a trusting living soul.

I heard the voice again – louder this time. I jumped off a curb and shot across the street and entered what appeared to be a kind of “viewing room”…perhaps it was built this way to just encourage people to sit and rest, and look through the large glass window. It was quite the view at that moment. I stood in front for a moment and looked first at the high tower and the more intense spurts of light and color. It had grown larger in just those few moments.

The window had glass that kept the sounds from permeating the ears of all who were there…though it seemed like an echo was resounding in my ears and filling my head with intense crackling.

I saw the building. I saw shadows of hundreds of people. Some were standing and some running in all directions, seeking a place where they felt safe – and yet could watch the impending, expected explosion.

I turned for a moment and realized there were quite a few people in this sanctuary; but they were intent on watching and not socializing. Eyes were all focused on the top of the tower of iron and metals.

In the distance I heard that familiar voice calling my name over and over. I knew what was going to happen. I sat down and tried to make myself small and invisible. In a moment what I had dreaded began. I saw the head of this giant man peek inside, and as if I were the only person in the room – his eyes met mine. He could smell my fear and the scent of me. He was a dog on the hunt, and I had been trapped.

Everyone in the room had turned to see him as he swaggered in and towards me. He towered above all others but the man sitting next to me gently took my hand and looked at me. Without words he said he understood.

We rose and turned to walk to the exit in the back. I could hear the giant man mumble under his breath, “I will get you again because you belong to me.” He had told me once, with a shotgun to my head, “If I can’t have you no one will.”

The power of his words overcame my survival senses, and I thought of the person ever-gently holding my hand. He was trying to give me wings to fly away….but I knew ultimately he would be the one permanently hurt if I let this go further.

“I will be okay. Thanks.” I said as I looked into his eyes, unclasp my hand and stopped. Just at that moment the giant said, “I knew you would want me”. He roughly wrapped me in his arms, picked me up and carried me in his arms.

The stranger did not know what to do, but I did. I thanked him with my silent eyes as I knew he
would have tried to save me……but at his own expense.

When we got outside he sat me down in a dark corner of the access road that was on the eastern side of the building. He began to undress me as I stood frozen with fear. I wanted to run. I wanted to scream. It was as if I had been hypnotized and my mind was looking at this nightmare from aloft. I was unable to speak or move.

Just at the moment he had begun to slip his hand into my panties, the top of the tower lit the entire sky sparks flew everywhere, and it blew. Everyone began to scream and run. The shrapnel flew into the air, and then downward into the crowd. The explosion did not culminate with one loud burst…it kept exploding and moving downward on the tower – along with other bursts of light and sounds of explosions outward on the lines that extended to all directions.

The green building was hit. People were screaming. I thought perhaps my eardrums had burst as I could no longer hear the crackling and explosions. Ensuing projectiles bombarded the crowd, hitting one or two at a time.

I could feel my feet begin to run. I did not know where I was going, and I did not look back. I could have run a marathon at that moment, and won. My feet flew and between steps it seemed as if I actually had wings to make the distance I tread further and further away from
the danger.

My mind shred into memories, the present, and an impending future. I ran lightly and swiftly – on my toes. I had never run so fast before. Behind me began to get quieter each step I moved. My feet barely touched the ground as my stride grew larger. i saw darkness a head, and everything was still behind me. I still never slowed my stride; never turned my head for fear of slowing down. I just kept running. I ran until I could run no more.

Current events and Aliens

January 17, 2018

The only thing I can say about the thirty-eight minutes of hell Hawaiians faced day before yesterday is I am 100% relieved it was a HUGE error! In my heart, I do not believe that the leader of any country with nuclear weapons wants to start a war that could destroy his or her own country.

Have a beloved son, daughter, and granddaughter living in the islands. It must have been terrifying for all residents.

In the late 50’s and early 60’s citizens of the United States were building bomb shelters and children were practicing “duck and cover” in schools, in case of an attack.

The ONE GOOD thing I think this may have done is make people pay a bit more attention to being at least being somewhat prepared with water, food, and a plan for all family members….
I think being prepared is like having insurance. Hopefully you will never need to make a claim, but if you do – you will be covered.
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As far as the President being accused of a “potty-mouth” I feel there is something to consider.
There was only one Democrat at the meeting, and he is the accuser. Two others at the meeting have said they do not remember him saying anything like that! We probably will never know for sure. Go to a liberal site, he did. Go to a conservative site, and he didn’t.

I acknowledge our President is often brash and brutally honest, but he is NOT the first president by far to do and say regrettable things while in office! He is human. We are all humans.
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Japan had an alert go off inadvertently today – but was corrected in 5 minutes.
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Are aliens here?

There came an alien race to earth, intent on conquering all, and the name of the alien race, is alcohol”

These aliens are slowly taking over the entire planet by disguising themselves as alcohol.

Soon almost all will be so addicted they will have no need to worry. Those who protest will be in such few in numbers, their own human race will subdue them.

Then the invaders will turn into the “real” aliens, and will have the earth, and all humans to themselves. The humans will be slaves, bound to alcohol forever ……and they conquered the planet without a fight!

Now that is an interesting little word “ditty”. Thought provoking, eh…….

 

 

 

Sexual Abuse and the bully

November 28, 2017

MORE SEXUAL TALK!

I don’t give a flying shoe about the hollyweird aspect, or the political scenarios. THIS IS NOT A NEW ISSUE! Sexual advances from most men (not all) have been a part of the world’s problems, since men found their penis and then reached their sexual peak…age eighteen! This is when the testosterone is the highest for most men.

From that point, “its all downhill”. At least that is the physiology of the problem, and the “problem” is overcome by selling pharmaceuticals make billions on enhancing male sexuality.. I think the crux of the problem is the twisted and perverted peak the magazines, television, particularly the internet, has taken many men and women.  Additionally, some men are bullies!

Today, via movies and television, it is presented perfectly normal for a young man and woman to meet, and be attracted, and within hours / or minutes, the couple is pressed up against a wall ripping their clothes off, or jumping in the sack for a short screw (and that is all it is), and then – “bye-bye”.

Sexual relations have been going on since the creation of man, but it seems all the forms of medias, particularly the community of hollyweird, has pushed and endorsed its agenda to make money! Also, if you think about the sexual violence and rapes that are presented to those who use television and or the internet to “relax” after a long day at work, it kind of begins to make sense.  Some people use those medias as actually a representation of learning tools!

The dumbing down of America through technology.  A sad and terrible truism.

Even the Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community was pushed by Hollyweird as an agenda that they could show in movies and make money! Follow the money.

This “community” is very tiny community percentage wise. The number of all LGBT humans is 3.8 percent of the population of three hundred million in the USA alone.

This figure may be overestimated. I have done my homework on this. There is a larger percentage of citizens who have “experimented” as opposed to being born this way.

Women lead the bisexual march.  I believe magazines started this trend with the “girl on girl” photos in the late fifties and early sixties. But these folks are NOT members of the real LGBT community…The transgender community is extremely rare.
I am NOT blaming men or women for sexual adventures or misadventures, as it may be. I am blaming (and I wish I could specifically name names) those who are pushing towards a society that neither hones men or women. A society that wants the non-gender attitude, and the careless and casual sex “that doesn’t mean anything” – to blossom.

If there are no solid alliances between men and women, there will be no power except factions of groups who stand together to make noise, but vanish into thin air when the media stops focusing on them. People will only have their “peasant” work to do.  I am one of the peasants.

Even those in the higher financial state will honor and respect nothing except the almighty dollar.

The SEXUAL “State of the Union” is pathetic. Confusion among the peasants keeps them down and working….They (the unnamed) creatures are playing gods, and I believe there will be a quiet majority who will at some point, have had enough-more than enough.

A problem here is that CHILDREN are being taught EVERYTHING is okay!
Children are being primed in pre-school and elementary school, INACCURATE AND MISLEADING “facts” . They are being led down a path they don’t even understand as yet.

They are being molded by a group of people who have lost any sense of moral reckoning. A group that only cares about putting children on life-long drugs, doing life-changing surgeries, and changing the attitude of the upcoming generations to accept everything.

Genders / sexual experiments / etc. are something that children (at these ages) do not fully comprehend. They are being led down a path with molding that can screw up their little lives – forever! They are the innocents, and I am mad!

I kind of drifted from the subject of sexual abuse, but like bullying – sexual abuse (from both genders) has been going on for centuries. I do understand that men are the worst offenders, but it is point blank simply because men are aroused by sights and sounds, and it doesn’t take much…Wherein women may be attracted, and sometimes even hot, we don’t have the “trigger point” men naturally have. That is not an excuse. There is no excuse for taking advantage of a situation to gain sexual favors for a favor in return – job security, etc.

There is NOTHING new under the sun! The difference is instead of women “handling the scenario”, they whine and “arouse” a different kind of situation.

I have been accosted – more than once – I spoke up and eye-ball to eye-ball and confronted the problem! I spoke up more than once, and  when I was unable to resolve the problem, I openly went to management. One time that did not work – I packed up and walked out of my position. I had some positions I loved and did not want to have to quit, but waiting forty years to explode – NO WAY!

In my heart, I think these women are frauds. If they didn’t speak up then, even if fearful, they are cowards to say anything today. Forty years is a lot of time to mature and hopefully mend the evil ways that caused the problem initially.

This hollyweird stuff is garbage. Probably these poor excuses for women didn’t speak up because they got the “perks” they shut their mouths for then…..

Women, DON’T BE AFRAID of the consequences if you are molested in any way. Speak up. Either handle it yourself or tell someone else and get help to handle it! All you are doing by being silent is hurting YOU! Be courageous and be an example for other women and girls.

And women, please remember, you are dealing with men whose sexuality is activated at the sight of a beautiful girl walking by or a low cut blouse. No one deserves to be molested or raped – but you don’t hold out a steak to a dog – unless you want him to jump for it.

Just a note. Bullying is the same thing. The thing about a bully is he either try to incite you with words, or by hitting. Try to walk away, but you may have to punch back! Tell someone right away (who cares if you are a tattle tale)  and take care of the situation immediately.

I knew a coward bully, and he would come up to the back of someone and punch them in the head.  Bullies don’t abide by rules.  Bullies have always been around.

Unless YOU take action, the worst repercussion might be when you are met by the bully again, and wind up hurting from another beating. But if you see him or her coming, fight back!  There are no rules for a bully.

Stand up for yourself no matter if it is sexual abuse, or a bully trying to make himself feel better by being a bully!  Someone has probably been sexually abused that person, and more than likely the bully has been bullied!

TAKE a SELF-DEFENSE class. Ask for help in learning to defend yourself. I am not saying you shouldn’t try to walk away from the problem, but if you don’t TAKE CARE OF LIFE’S IMPORTANT situations, WHEN THEY OCCUR, you will find yourself facing the problem again and again!

 

God Morning!

October 6, 2017

It felt good to “speak my peace”. It is still an open venue to voice an opinion, at least for the time being.
As I sit here feeling the blessed cooler air and hearing the soft ring of chimes that move with the wind, I want to say, “God Morning”…I want it to be a God filled morning and day.
In writing I released what I know to be a mutual opinion, standing with many millions of people who have little voice in what is happening today. We are the peasants. I say that with no sorrow or anger, it is just the way it is – and I am a happy one! Happy beyond belief the majority of my life. It is a blessing to still be able to recognize the beauty of the earth we live upon, and the magnificence of the stars in the sky above.
I am an American. I love the essence of America, the lands, the individual peoples who live in the different areas, and the diversity of our people. The thing I feel about America that is different than any other country in the world is that for all my life, I have seen, when time is of the essence, ALL AMERICANS JOIN HANDS together, pray together, and work together for the good of America! There has been no division or devise plans when diligence and teamwork are needed to keep America free, and its people melding together for strength, healing and peace.
It has been that way ALL my life, and I want it to remain the same.
The only thing that has changed is the media driven panic and pressing onto any story that will ultimately make money! If we were NOT infringed upon by the madness of the media, we wouldwe would NOT come unhinged when faces of the FEW discontent citizens make a statement, albeit at the wrong time and place, whilst there are millions upon millions who are working side by side, living side by side, and trying to make amends for those mistakes ALL human beings make at one time or another.

Anger begets anger, violence begets violence, and love and peace…..begets love and peace.

If people want to change things then it will begin in the individual core of each person’s spirit.
DO NOT watch or read or listen to the inflammatory things the media presents each moment of the day. I challenge you to go just four days (and nights) without paying attention to the rhetoric presented us that creates discontent, worry, negativity or anger from within us.

If you pray, drop to your knee and humbly ask our Great Spirit (the proper name, if you read the Bible, is Jehovah) – to let the Holy Spirit fill us with love and graciousness. Ask for kindness and humility, and live your moments the best you can in the next four days, breathing and moving in love and peace.

I will offer you a “MONEY BACK GUARANTEE” (oh wait, I don’t get paid – haha) – that in these four days, if you meet the challenge, you will find an amazing four days upon you! The only other thing I suggest is that when you feel ANY negative feelings or worry, take a breath and say to yourself, “NOPE. Not going to wreck my peace and happiness….it will all work out some way!” Then exhale the negative thoughts into oblivion and begin again.

People always want to know why I am so happy…..well, beyond teaching stress management and relaxation techniques, I actually use them! God has given us soooooooo many gifts from within if we just use them! Breathing exceptionally good breaths will also create natural pain killers from within. The TRICK is…….like any habit we get into…..you must believe they will work.

Don’t forget – “money back guarantee!” SMILE just because it will make you feel better. Do not worry, if there is any dire emergency, it will find its way to you – don’t look – LIVE! I love you all! My husband asks how I can love people I don’t know? Easy – we are all brothers and sisters and members of the human family. We all cry, bleed, laugh, and some of us even laugh until our gut hurts! Just sayin’……….

(no I didn’t proof, so fire me! Lord I feel silly today!)

Dream

March 4, 2016

“My life is like a continually changing convergence of forms, a kaleidoscope of ever moving- breathing- me.   On the outside I have softened to a sweet and tender place.  Yet inside I am like the hard seed in a cherry or a plumb, unable and unwilling to succumb to being eaten by this world. God placed the seed and it is in my heart until my last breath. I choose to acknowledge it and with intellect allowed my feet to be directed to my futures.”

I will never give up and never give in.  I will continue to repeat the mantra reiterated in the first paragraph. I am not empowered by the spirit of this world.

Abruptly as we finished unloading the boxes, there was a knock at the door. The man told us we needed to put on shoes, grab a bag, and head to a meeting place several blocks away. The neighbor’s homes were scattered on this big piece of land, but close enough to wave and yell hello. My new neighbor yelled, “Come on we need to get there quickly.

Try as I may I couldn’t find shoes and finally gave up, borrowing my sisters slippers. The family drove in two cars, my husband and son and myself, and my sister and her eldest son.

When we arrived at the “center” we were told to sit quietly and then moved to another area where we were allowed to choose a seat in a small group.   My husband sat next to me . Though because of my recent operation and the back injuries that I sustained several years ago I could not find something adequate.

A man, of Asian descent came up behind us and told me to settle down and handed us a cookie and a glass of something to drink.

All the while I felt that while were viewing what had been told was a “movie” for the neighbors, our homes were being ransacked neatly and carefully. Somehow I envisioned every corner and hiding place were being painstakingly gone through and replaced carefully to look as if no one had been there at all. The dogs knew, but I knew they would know to watch for their safety as well, and might think it good to remain out of sight.

After scoping in all the small groups around me, there were about five of them, I noticed there were peoples of all ages, health, and race – with the exception of Asian. I saw anyone that was Asian was working, male or female.

Within a brief time my husband was becoming irritated for my comfort, and was slapped several times and told to sit down. Fear began enveloping everyone in the room and we knew it had begun.

One by one individuals were selected and placed in a special chair – gone over and told what was really each person’s ailment or need. Someone was dispatched to replace the brace on my lower left side – to the opposite side. It didn’t matter how I protested, it was done.

My husband, nephew and sister were taken out of view. After reviving the injury to a selected correction, I was placed in the chair. I was angry and fearful and told them to stop. I felt pressure on the top of my chair and I was dropped out of view of the others

I found myself sitting in a chair opposite to an Asian woman – I have no enemies – no bigotry within me, but distinctly the woman was tiny (as were the men- short, that is to say), and with a distinct look in the face and eyes. The woman was stern and had scissors in her hand.

I said, “DO NOT CUT MY HAIR.” It is my hair. She told me, “Oh I won’t.”

The next thing I remember is feeling the back of my hair and instead of waist length, it was cropped short and had almost a roosters top piece. I was so angry. But my anger was ignored. I wanted to reach out and grab her and tear her apart – I was so angry with all of it. I couldn’t.

I silently cursed her. With my lips closed I did something I have not done for eons of time and cursed her over and over again..I knew there was an evil power in the curses.  I looked for my husband and he came to me – much shorter and almost placid in appearance. My nephew appeared too, and he was silenced and subdued. We were told we could leave.

I asked my husband if he was all right and he said that the Marine training had been more severe, just different. My nephew did not speak.  I could not find my sister.

We got up and walked towards the door. The rooms were still full and yet it was quiet.

Outside cars and trucks were parking and leaving, always directed by someone Asian.

The last thing I remember is waking up in my bed and sitting up abruptly. The happiness was gone and a hard stern look was upon my face. I was absolutely traumatized and felt an angry demeanor within my personal realm.

I found myself walking towards the kitchen, and the tears began to flow. It was over for now. For now.

 

 

Fearless

August 16, 2013

“Fearlessness means faith in God: faith in His protection, His justice, His wisdom, His mercy, His love, and His omnipresence…To be fit for God, a man/woman must be fearless.

…When hardship threatens we should not let ourselves feel helpless or forlorn, nor should we cry, “Why me?” The courageous soul will remind him/herself that adversity comes not to destroy or punish him, but to help to rouse the invincibility in our soul

The painful ordeals we go through are but a shadow. The Lord is very anxious to get us out of this troublesome world of duality.

Whatever difficulties He permits us to pass through are necessary.  We may never understand the “why” of painful events until the resurrection. If we fully understand this, we become freed from resentment and discouragement over our crosses. 

When you are a child, you have the problems of a child; but when you become an adult, you have an adult’s responsibilities and difficulties. Likewise, as you grow spiritually, your challenges increase. But know this for certain: THE LORD PERMITS NO EXPERIENCE TO COME TO YOU THAT IS BEYOND YOUR STRENGTH. NEVER DOUBT THIS. 

Nothing can overwhelm you unless out of doubt and fear you permit it to do so. Whatever comes, face it with patience and faith in God: “Lord, bless me, that I may find the courage to deal with this experience; and through it, draw closer to You.” Do the best you can, given the circumstances, and trustingly leave the result in God’s hand. 

God wants His children to be happy and fulfilled.  He aches for your full attention.  He will never leave you and He will be at his strongest when you are at your weakest.

Trust.  Keep the faith.  We are finite, so our understanding (for now) is limited.  Be happy. 

Remember “Nothing can touch you if you inwardly love God.” If you love God, your mind is always centered in Him. You are resting on eternal truth instead of being tossed about by the constant uncertainties of mortal existence. You become immersed in the stillness of the depths of the ocean of His presence within, where no surface storms can unsettle you. Then you have NO INSECURITIES—NO FEAR OF LOSS, OR INJURY, OR PAIN, OR EVEN OF DEATH.