Posts Tagged ‘fighting’

4 MILLION women are beaten and abused each year.

June 6, 2014

Is that shocking?

Well how’s this for a shocker? That is in the USA – not a third world country! I tried to find statistics on men being beaten or killed by their spouse or partner, but I came up with pretty much nothing. I know there have been some such instances.

The leading cause of violence to women fifteen to forty-four, ( car accidents, mugging and rapes combined) is caused by their husband or domestic partner.)

Here is another stunning fact. 16% of young men between the ages of eleven and twenty are serving time for killing their mother’s abusers.

Something is wrong with this picture! Agreed!

I spoke to a weapons expert in length day before yesterday, and he was kind enough to share some pretty important tips for women who are, or may be in a position to be beaten,

or even worse.   Marshall also teaches a self-defense class.

He seemed appalled that anyone would touch a woman in that manner. He seems to be a really decent man. This is what he shared with me.

1. No stun gun. The stun gun must be held against a person 15 seconds to be effective. In an emergency situation, one mistake and it’s over.

2. No knife. Same result if you aren’t fast and an expert.

3. No gun – unless you have a permit to carry a concealed weapon, know how to use it, and are defending your own life. God forbid you are ever in that scenario!

4. No taser as you have to aim and hit dead on. Even if that happens the connection can be pulled off in most circumstances. Police almost always have a back-up.

5. Pepper Spray – YES! YES! YES! Have your pepper spray in a pocket or concealed within immediate reach. Before he can reach you, spray directly in his eyes. It has to be either in your hand so it is unseen, or concealed in some manner, because if he sees it he can block the spray from his eyes.

This is something Marshall told me that I found extremely interesting. Once you spray the attacker – keep spraying directly in the eyes until the canister is completely empty!

That is important.

He assured me that if you use the whole can you will have time to grab whatever you need (like car keys and a purse)-pick- up the baby (babies) – and escape.

It will not permanently damage the eyes, but will disable your attacker.

He suggested that if you’ve never used a pepper spray before, buy an extra one and go some place and practice.

Practice the “draw”- practice spraying – spray the entire container, and practice, practice, practice.

Rehearse it in your mind an emergency scenario. Keep in mind wind/or a fan can send the spray where it shouldn’t go, so be careful!

Another tip I got was when you are walking alone, keep spray in hand, or car keys. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way, and walk proudly, keeping an eye on your surroundings if you feel insecure.

I firmly believe if a man or woman is drunk – IT IS NOT the time to fight.  Drunks cannot be reasoned with, and sometimes get violent.  Also, I have known women who “egg a man on” – taunt him with words that instigate a man to loose control.  NO that is not reason to abuse physically, but women can sometimes STOP a situation from accelerating by simply being quiet and walking away.

Some good  advice is to NOT listen to music or TALK ON THE PHONE, when you are the least bit nervous about walking or running. Those things put you at a real disadvantage. I know it’s not the most fun, but neither is abuse!

LASTLY – I am aware that there are men who are abused.

I actually have known a man who had a knife drawn on him by his own wife.

In the instance of man vs. woman, I believe that men are born stronger than women…even a small man can probably handle a woman strength-wise. I actually had an attempted rape by a man much smaller than myself. He was able to drop me on the floor quickly.

I thank God I was able to talk my way out of that situation.

Honestly, I do not know how a man would handle a woman abuser, except possibly “contain” her until she calms down – or better yet, WALK AWAY! Get out of the situation, and don’t return for more unless there is a conversation, and counseling. Why put yourself in a volitale position?

I pray you never have ANY abuse (verbal or physical) – man, or woman.  Let’s try to use our intelligence to solve problems…..Have a safe weekend and God bless you!

 

 

 

 

 

A Couple of Relationship Tips for Men and Women

October 23, 2013

I’ve had good relationships, and relationships from hell!  My husband and I are still in love (a great relationship) after twenty-five years. M&M Christmas 2010

By the way…since this photo my husband and I have both lost weight, therein our double chins!  We are on a mission, together, to NOT GET THINNER, but to get HEALTHIER.  Much easier when you work as a team.  My vanity (what I have left) made me tell you this!

So here are a couple of tips I wanted to share.
They are valuable, and I care!My husband and I have been married VERY happily for twenty-five years.  Part of the reason is communication.  Not just that either of us talks – but we LISTEN to each other, and actually are open enough to assimilate shared thoughts.

Here is a tip for you guys.  WATCH your words to your lady, wife, girlfriend, guy friend, partner – whom ever you are in a relationship with, and one that you want to last.

Women (and I truly don’t know if gay men think in these terms, so you’ll have to know your mate to decide) LISTEN TO EVERY WORD THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.  They don’t just listen.  They REMEMBER.  Even if you immediately say

“Sorry” or “Didn’t mean it”, whatever – it stays with women for a long, long time.

You know you don’t want your words imprinted on her heart, or dissected like a frog in a lab, or worse yet, thrown in your face a thousand times.  We can’t help it.  We listen, and most of us have just a tad or jealousy, or perhaps insecurity, so we tend to believe what you say.

That’s why women are said to “hear what they want to hear”.  Women can be gullible too.  That’s why some con artists are able to worm their slimy way into a woman’s heart.

It’s as simple as that.  REALLY.  THINK before you speak, and no matter how difficult it may be at first, WATCH YOUR WORDS…particularly if you love this person!

You do not want to scar her heart.  You do not want to wind up saying, “Oh I knew you’d bring this up again, and again, and again. 

Just pick your words as you would pick a weapon.  Make them appropriate and use them with decorum.  Just get it the habit and you will reap the rewards!

Here is a tip for you gals.  When your dispute is over, DROP IT!  Goes back to that elephant like memory we have sometimes.  DROP IT.  Get over it.  Let it RIP.

A guy hates to munch on what is in the past, and for a guy, when the dispute is over – it is OVER!  Let it go.  You are not only “bringing up the past” (even if it was just solved), but you are racking your relationship over hot coals.  It doesn’t prove anything or make you the winner if you can’t “get on with your life”.  It makes you waste any chance you have to really start working on your relationship in the current state.

Besides, if YOU don’t let it go, long past the fight, long past the time of dissention, YOU will be the one who is suffering.  Guys really do let it go, and move on.  My husband taught me that, and it is a lesson that has been invaluable in moving forward.————————————————-So CREATE a GREAT relationship.  Just practice these simple tips in your relationship and you will see WONDERFUL results.  Just get in the habit of saying and dong what is right, in these two instances, and you may be headed towards peace and good communication…. and communication is everything in a relationship!  Have a beautiful day.

BTW, if my posts are not “beautiful” it’s because after over 500 posts, I am still an internet “visual” baby!  I just hope the words are beautiful for you!  Now get to it.  Smile and go hug somebody (well, somebody you won’t get in trouble for hugging!)