Posts Tagged ‘God’

Today

February 23, 2017

I woke up exceptionally early this morning. I lay in bed thinking. I thought about prayers. I thought about God. I thought about my life, and how much of it I’ve missed!

Really. I feel like it has slipped through my fingers like a palm full of oil when you open your fingers….drip, drip, drip away. My back ached (it always does, but that is the way it is) – when I fell, landing on my back, I knew I was in trouble. I just didn’t know how much.

My Rottie came over and sat next to me and I instinctively reached up and felt the lush soft fur just below her neck.

I looked at the blue sky, dotted with those clouds that form into something when you watch them pass. I had just been thanking God for everything in my life being calm and peaceful, and close to perfect. Then wouldn’t you know it, life took me on a turn I shall not forget, though after four years of challenges (and I mean hell sometimes), I sit here typing another piece of my heart.

“Everything changes”, mama used to say. “Everything except God and my love for you.”
I knew she meant it.

We can criticize others. Blame circumstances on conditions, and punish ourselves for making so many mistakes along the way. But isn’t there enough of that going on?

Oh God, I want to be of value, of service to you. We are all human as you are well aware, and
for US, I ask you remain faithful in your patience and grace. I still can’t figure out why I have been given so many opportunities to “rise above my circumstances, and survive!”

We are small little human beings in a maze of life. The majority of us, I still believe, still having love, potential, and goodness.

Guide our thoughts and deeds. Perhaps you give us a jolt a time or two to recognize how little time we have and really how very much power we have in just a word or deed.

My mouth has been filthy at times in my life (not as bad as Ashley Judd – her mama must be proud) – and sometimes my actions less than acceptable. I know that. I also know because I believe in you and your Son Jesus Christ, I am forgiven! I am loved. Jesus took the brunt of my deeds and paid the price. I never take that for granted.

Please keep vigilant over your children and give us a push in the right direction when we are overcome by the trash with the loudest voices. We do not have to succumb.

My husband readies himself to leave and devote his time and health and energy to keeping us “floating” above debt and despair. God bless ALL who must leave their families to provide for them.

Please guide us, your creations, to kind words and at least one thoughtful and unexpected act of love today. We don’t need to tell anyone….just do something. THANK YOU. I stand on my small bandwagon to declare my love for you, and the POWER and ENDLESS energy to heal and keeping going……if only we ask and believe.

Picking up the pieces

September 25, 2016

 

I opened the refrigerator and saw the crystal bowl, as if in slow motion, drop in waves and then hit the floor with a mighty sound of glass splintering and grapes breaking off into all directions.

People use God’s name is so many situations. Thank God it’s cooled down. Thank God no one was hurt. Thank God the storm was less than expected. I often wonder if the name of God is even recognized any more, and if God has become just a phrase to express relief. I wonder if people really mean THANK GOD.

Thank God no splinters flew into the eyes of my puppy, standing off a far, looking as if he had done something wrong. I wondered if he would run off to the “naughty room”, his dog house, as he does when he carries something in his mouth that doesn’t belong there.

No, thank God he stood still and just watched, along with my good old girl, Dakota. Black as the night, wide eyed as children, they just waited for some reaction from me. To their surprise, I laughed. Why not.

My husband says to open any door or cupboard anywhere in the house is like looking for a bomb to explode. This time he was right. No one got cut. The bowl was just a material object, and the only other loss was a bunch of grapes.

I cleaned everything up. Looked at the precarious position of an opened twelve pack of Ginger Ale, I and decided to leave them where they were on the third shelf. Why not live dangerously….

It was so much easier to laugh and smile than to let the current situation overcome my senses and my life. I knew this too would pass.

Now think of politics. Let it go. It is not going to be life-changing to throw away all the moments and days we spend worrying. Let it go, and as it’s been said many times before….

Let it go and let God! The only control we really have is our response to life. I tried being miserable and it sucked. So I gave it up.

Invisible Injuries

September 15, 2016

We all have them.  Whether they be mental or physical, they all come with the territory of being human.

No visual example of adversity. No example of individual interior adversity – mentally or physically!

The difficult part is NO ONE on planet earth can fully understand what YOU personally may be tackling as far as these unseen or unknown challenges.  No one will ever know one hundred percent.

This is why in order to succeed in life, we must attend to our own “healing” of mind-body-and spirit, and we must forgive those who don’t GET where we are coming from.

It may be the depths of hell to us, but not even within the view of others understanding.

The reason I lay all of this on US is because I am going through those invisible injuries.

I have had a pile of them all my life (off and on) – WE ALL DO.  They are all different and all in different degrees of the need to heal.

Truth be told (as politicians often say – if they only would!)  NO ONE but YOU can do the healing.  I will add in (because these are MY thoughts, and this is my place to offer up my thoughts), that if you have a belief system beyond yourself, life will be leaps and bounds easier to handle and the mountains less tenuous to climb.

I am fortunate because I have faith that cannot be shaken no matter how difficult my life become.  Honestly  life does not get easier as you age, it gets harder.

BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN you cannot have laughter, and joy, and love, and reapall the rewards we humans still have available.

The key is how you CHOOSE to respond to your own problems, and the tenderness with which you CHOOSE to have understanding and forgiveness of others.  Personally, I can NEVER hold a grudge.  Being unforgiving and judgemental festers inside you like an infected sore.  When you forgive (even if you don’t mean it at first), you begin to heal from within!  REALLY.  You release ugly and negative thoughts, and are able to use your own healing powers for yourself!

Another great way to handle stress of invisible problems is to breathe.  Get plenty of oxygen and your body will “think” better and “feel” better.  It is THE WAY of your body. Think about it.  Slow or stop breathing and what happens?  Less oxygen, less optimal thinking and healing, and ultimately death!  So is it important?  What do you think?

Lastly, I guarantee I have at least thirty to forty things going on within me physically and mentally that no one can ever understanding.  But what I realize is it is UP TO ME to handle it all.  I tried being miserable.  It sucked.  So I gave it up!

Besides I use a trick.  I don’t know when it began, perhaps in the womb, but when an unexpected scenario confronts me, I ALWAYS try to find the humor in it – and laugh!  I know you can’t laugh at everything, but it doesn’t hurt to try.  Humor can really save your day, and your life!

You can rise above WHATEVER it is that is aching to pull you down.  Try not to exclusively dwell on the problems.  Divert your own attention by accomplishing tasks that lay before you.  When you feel like a pity party, TAKE A BREATH – think of it like ammo and a secret weapon.  It is.  If you think this is all pie in the sky and just words –

YOU WOULD BE WRONG!  I would not waste my precious moments, and each moment is precious to me, expounding on words with no meaning.  Thoughts with no depth.

So please think about it.  Read this again. I am serious. You won’t waste the minute it takes, and this time think about applying it to your life!  You must get into the habit of this way of thinking.  We are creatures of habit.  Please read it again and this time think about it with YOU IN MIND.

REPETITION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL LEARNING. Repetition is the mother of all learning. Repetition is the mother of all learning. Repetition is the mother of all learning.  Now close your eyes and say it.

God bless you, and I so very much mean it!  Flowers for you courtesy Park City, Utah  I have no idea what kind they are but it looked like they were placed gently on top of these bushes, and they were beautiful!Park City FlowersJPG.jpg

 

Here is the Confession

September 6, 2016

Here is the confession. Since my accident and incidents therein,

Too often I fall into deep depression.

 

I know in cyberspace there are fellow humans of like mind,

sometimes we search for answers, but answers do not find.

 

There is nothing shameful about having depression you see,

It happens in this lifetime, next door and across the sea,

It happens to us all -to you, and even me.

 

We are human. We feel love, terror, and pain, trauma.

Depression can hit us all – depression is not drama!

 

I awoke this morning covered with sorrow like dense fog.

Unable to find the departure, chained like a wild dog.

 

“What is the purpose of life?” I thought. My life is changed forever, and not for better.

I had a pity party – a pitiful one – no one came.

 

It was only I, raging like I was waging a war against myself.

Then praying, while rather insane, I placed my mind upon a shelf.

 

At last I thought, I knew what to do. Divert my own attention to something else……and maybe you should too.

 

So I left the room I was working in, took a breath or two and dropped to my knees.

“Give me help dear Lord, I prayed, let my heart feel at peace, if you please.”

 

Here I lay in bed, with laptop resting on my legs.

Writing simple poetry, trying to turn a phrase.

 

If I dwell on my sorrow, and cry and whimper, I will to hell cross the line,

Then I won’t smile or have joy in this moment of time.

 

All we have is this moment to live,

I must turn my thoughts not to get, but to love and to give.

 

I lay here and realize I still can write.

I can see in the daytime, and find rest at night.

 

Within there is a flicker of my light that should shine for many reasons I know.

I will find a few to jostle my memory, and wrestle depression with strength just to show….

 

I can DO whatever I think I can! My sorrows are few compared to many a man.

I do not know how much I time I have left to look at my life – nor days to enjoy.

 

I want to be an example of faith and of love,

I will keep praying for power from that of above.

 

I AM better already, can you read and see? Like I would with a child who needs help,

I diverted my own attention, and the task set me free.

 

Change your thoughts, change your emotions.

Use your wits to climb from the pits.

 

You may think this a silly poem, and some might think it not a poem at all.

But by taking the time to write it I kept myself from a major fall!

 

Do not stumble, do not muddle your thoughts to far worse than it is!

Now what was the stress management technique I used?

Ah, yes,….this is a quiz!

 

Simple and easy what to do – divert your attention – and God will bless you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What do you think of when you awake?

May 15, 2016

I wake and my brain begins to think of everything! Why does bad things happen to good people? Can we turn things around just by thinking differently? What makes me care about people I don’t even know, that are half way around the world? Why do we always try to pigeonhole a person before we know the real person? What makes us keep trying when everything has gone wrong? Have all people thought of suicide at least one time? If someone told me they would kill me would I really stand up for what I believe? Are puppies just a beautiful gift from a creative creator? Dreams are so real. Is this life really real, or are my dreams real and this is just a manifestation of my mind?

Then I get up and head for the coffee. In five minutes of lying in my bed and trying to wake up, m mind has already asked hundreds, not just a few, questions about it all!

My best bet, and this is the truth, is to drop to my knees before rising, and give thanks for another breath, and lay the concerns in my brain before my Master. I know I ask more thank I give thanks, but thanks is always on my mind, and when I sway just a bit off my true path, my life begins to diminish in small currents of unrest and dissatisfaction. It always happens. I just don’t always recognize it until I am bursting into tears and wondering why good things happen to bad people.

It is like a cycle an alcoholic follows. Don’t drink. Just to ease the concerns of the day.

If one made me relax, two will help a bit more. The increase of alcohol is in small increments. It may take days to reach for and consume “more than enough” to be drunk and disoriented. To be waking the next morning with regret and sorrow and no memory of the horrible things someone says you did. It may happen that same hour. Open your eyes and your life is passed by. It could have happened to me. Don’t drink.

Without God there is a hole in my heart that cannot be filled. Without God there is no peace beyond understanding. Without God love diminishes and that empty space becomes filled with treachery and evil that lurks everywhere to snap you up and eat you alive.

With God, all things are possible.

Therein, I will forgo the second cup of coffee and make my way to my bed and carefully get to my knees. I love to pray with surrender and respect, and when I get on my knees I feel I am honoring God a bit more – though I know He accepts prayers at any time and anywhere. He loves to hear from his children…even if they have yet to learn they are His. Even if they hesitate to use His proper name, as a parent hearing his child say “daddy”, and though he may be far away, the child’s daddy will hear the child’s call.

Love one another. Forgive one another. Love your Creator. Remember these are our tasks. We are not here to judge one another. Ease your mind and let the Spirit fill His home made within our early bodies and mind.

As we think so shall we become.   Mind over matter. Be grateful for each Nano second and waste them not!

You might this this photo isn’t related to this post – and it really isn’t – but I wanted to share something I snapped while out running errands a week or so ago.  These are my favorite type clouds, and for a moment they took me to a dream state of peeking out from between the clouds to check out earth!  I moment of fantasy and pleasure out of no where.  They are abundant – just open your eyes and have a blessed day!

cloudsCulumus clouds                                             Splendid, eh?

 

Times are tough. Out of work? Newly out of work? Trying to make ends meet?

October 23, 2015

“Times are tough now” I heard someone say.  I thought that to my knowledge, human times have always been tough.  My husband came home from work last night exhausted.  He has a dynamite work ethic, loyalty to his company – and he always goes the extra mile.  It’s so unfair to him that I am no longer able to do what I used to do before becoming disabled.

What about you?  Is your husband, or mate, or partner or whatever name you use for the person you share your life with, able to find work?  Newly out of work?

If you have children, are a single parent, or have the similar good traits my husband has, it has to be one of the most difficult times in your lives.  But no worries, just when things quiet down and are in hand, another challenge will arise for you to meet!  I’m not kidding and I’m not being sarcastic.  It is the truth.

Just keep in mind, if you love someone, you really have no choice but to continue endeavoring to make ends meet.  Nothing was ever handed to us, and my husband looks at me when I commend him for all his work and he simply says, “I don’t have a choice.”

You don’t if you don’t want to be a dependent product of this society.  You can scheme and cheat, but you will never be at peace within – unless of course you are a politician!  That’s a whole different story.  At least a billion dollars spent on attaining the office of president all added up.  It is ridiculous.  It is also ridiculous that as soon as the politicians start “smoozing” the public, suddenly there are no wars, no starvation, no illegal immigrant problem.  The only thing happening is a bunch of people (maybe one or two still with morals and values) – fighting to be president.  I digress……

Be careful when there is no work.  The tendency for humans is to seek relief.  “Take the edge” off of the stress.  “Relax for a while.”

This gives birth to a whole new problem.  Relief with alcohol, prescription drugs, illegal drugs, an affair (sadly this can happen) – an entire spin-off of new problems that can be worse than pinching pennies. A newly inadequate way to handle the problems is to turn to technology.  Technology, for all its wonder, is TEARING THE STRENGTH OF AMERICA into shreds. Disassembling the family.  Any poor way to handle problems can be found on the Internet.

It fills the heads of children and adults with UNrealistic persons who seem to care. Adventures that take a person away from REALity.  It is one of the most dangerous weapons that was ever created.  There is a prophecy in Native American culture that says when there is a web around the world,it is the beginning of the end.

MONITOR yourselves.  Be aware of signs and signals that may suggest that something else besides exhaustion is going on.  I have NO concrete answer for handling all that can happen.  I only have suggestions.  Some suggestions that, I have seen over the years, really help to mend the tear in the foundation of your family or the persons in your life that matter.

My best selection of ways to get through this is from people I have known and counseled over the years – 40 years.  (That’s scary and another adventure to face: aging). Back to current times.

  1.  Pray, trust God and seek fellow human beings that believe in similar things.  Where there are two or three gathered together, there is power untold provided to us.  But this resolve calls for FAITH.  It calls for believing in power that cannot be seen; in trusting in more than you.   My faith has increased substantially since my accident.  I was called upon to use what I’ve always said I have, and that was my faith and belief of the power of prayer.  I’ve seen others heal through “using” what they verbally say they believe.
  1.  Keep looking.  Think about  “realistically” seeking a modified position of your old career – or a new career entirely.  Keep looking.
  1.  Sit down with your VIP and discuss ways to cut expenses.  Plan meals – it is cheaper than fast food and better for you.  If you PLAN, you can cut costs.
  1.  Say NO to frivolous purchases.  Don’t just snap, but give others the benefit of being a human (often a child WILL understand as appreciate being included)  We all “want things”.  LIMIT TV and COMPUTER time.  That limits commercials.
  1.  Keep a positive attitude.  Don’t fight about petty things.  It takes two to make a war.  Use your intellect.  Use love.  Stay hopeful!  PRAY.

A strange day takes a Holy turn!

March 16, 2015

I had absolutely NO intention of writing this. NONE at all. I lay down because of the weakness of my back, and I needed to put heat on my back because the pain is overwhelming. I was feeling terrible and thought about the meaning of hope. With all sincerity, I put the laptop on my lap, and the words below just came tumbling out of my head. No forethought, no thought at all of what to write in this post….except to write what is posted below: Verbatim.  I haven’t even re-read what I wrote – 100% honestly!  I will later….
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No wonder we cannot understand why God allows terrible things to happen. It’s all a dream. From a perspective that assumes I have an inkling of really KNOWING all about God, I think I get it.

We are God’s creations, but in order for God to understand the human being, mind, body and soul, He sent His son to see if we are worth all the trouble. Jesus knows a great many of us are, and just needed a teacher to show the Way.

Jesus knows. He understands everything is REAL to us. He knows that pain and torture are real to us. He knows that the suffering of man is almost unbearable – enough to ask God Himself NOT to follow through with the plan. He was also afraid and did not want to face the torture man can inflict upon another. He saw the pain the death of others caused those who truly loved each other.  He saw the questioning of God’s existence when a child was lost…

He had an edge. He could have used his power, as the ONLY begotten Son of God, to perform a miracle and not sacrifice Himself. But He also understood the power of CHOICE that man has within himself.

He chose to take on “the world” and all the “sins of man” to become the ultimate mentor and advocate for God Himself. He died so that when our earthly death comes to take us, we are not lost forever into oblivion. He chose to be our Shepherd and guide. He was and is, the Way, the Truth and the Life.

He took upon Himself, within His mind and body, ALL of our mistakes, and the evil behavior of many of us. He carried the burden to His death….and Resurrection.
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Here is an absolute post script. I didn’t remember this even until I had written the post, and then the preface. It just came to me. One of those epiphany moments. I had gotten out of bed this morning (and I confess – I have been on a spiritual low for a while) – and I got on bended knees next to the bed. That’s no easy trick for me since my back surgeries. I simply asked that the Holy Spirit be activated and fill me.

I feel at peace right now, and I am breathing easier. Sweet!  I also just read the post, and it is exactly what I do believe but more in terms the common man (myself included) can comprehend.  Sometimes the Bible is a tad difficult and confusing.

A strange day!

March 16, 2015

I could have given up as my keyboard has been turning off and it is kind of distracting – HOWEVER, this has been such a strange day thus far, I need to share it.  There will be two posts today.

The first one was my dream last night:

I saw the large pool and it was so clear I could see how deep it was. No one was swimming in the pool, no one near except a man and a woman who stood near the side of the pool in the shallow area. They spoke softly. As I walked the far edge of the pool I could hear his voice, now gruff and much louder. I could also hear the shrill and obvious displeasure in her voice. Both were talking at the same time.

I walked to the concert area and the group of women who had been practicing for weeks were arguing with four members of another group. I understood after all the practice they dedicated, they wanted to present their interpretation of the play.

I also knew the members of the other group, far more experienced and professional, and they were simply trying to offer suggestions to refine and excite the performances. Everyone was chattering loudly and defensively at the same time.

No one understood the others motives, really, they were just trying to hold on to what was so important it wound up in an arguement.

As I left the hall one frail girl asked a man of questionable character, if he could score any drugs. I walked by them quietly.

I entered the door to the left and saw the group that had been in the concert hall. Don’t know how they had gotten there without passing me in the hallway. The experienced and really good group were discouraged. They were talking about how they had spent years on the road working hard and still were left with a pittance and no place to go at the moment.

Somehow I knew the person who usually occupied the opulent and airy room. The bedroom had been neat, but once I spoke to the owner, and asked him if they could stay the night, and they knew it was okay, they began to drop their bags and instruments and sit or relax, one by one on a bed or chair.

The once attractive woman, now worn and exhausted, began to sing softly. Her sweet voice sent chills through my body as I recognized the words, “how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me…”

The words faded into silence as she wearily closed her eyes and her constantly wringing hands and body relaxed into a deep sleep. She was oblivious to the world around her. I could see her as a beautiful young woman. She still was beautiful in an ethereal way.

I knew they needed money and I opened my bag to find lots of money. There were rolled bills, a stack of flat bills – topped with a hundred dollar bill. There were several rolls of money and a heavy bag of change. I peeked in it and there were only quarters and half dollars. I had no idea where the money came from but felt pressed to count it.

I looked around and everyone else was either resting on a bed (or sitting)  with a laptop near by, or one form or another of the almighty iphone. Each donned tiny earphones placed carefully at the lobe of their own ears. One man both looked and listened at two different electrical appliances at once, with the seriousness of someone trying to do the impossible “perhaps unboil an egg” I thought.

I remembered going to an enormous “event” earlier. The top of the building looked like the striped and vibrant design of an old time circus. Everyone had prepaid to enter.

I looked around and thought, “I am in the midst of so many things that mean absolutely nothing. Everyone works so hard and pay with the hours of their lives, and then they pay to enter this place and spend all of their money on things that mean NOTHING.”
It seemed preposterous to me.

I came back to the present moment  began to count the cash. The bound stacks of money were different. Some lighter in tones and some quite a bit darker. I thought it might be counterfeit. Then I thought, it’s all counterfeit anyway…bills made of paper that purchase things that mean nothing. I thought of my home. Modest, sturdy, a place to sleep and be tied to day after day. – I paid almost $700.00 in interest alone. Everything seems to be counterfeit. “You pay to live and it’s all meaningless,” I thought.

$5,500 thus far. I knew it all was placed before our eyes (technology, things and money) to snare us into the trap. The almighty we dedicated our lives to brought distance and arguing between peoples. It took without return, except what “appeared” to be a fleeting moment of worth.

I thought all the beauty and things of actual value given to us freely, and how we all seemed to push these things aside for the shiny gold coin. I thought of God and opened my eyes and realized I had been dreaming.

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The second post will be after I grab something to eat.  I felt my stomach hurt.  God bless all those who find themselves hungry with nothing to eat.

GOOD MORNING!

October 6, 2014

I believe it is a beautiful day.  Even if I didn’t, I would talk myself into it by creating new brain cell impressions:  It’s a beautiful day.  It’s a beautiful day.  It’s a beautiful day.

It works.  Thoughts become your life.  That’s kind of general, but it is true.  Also the creating of new brain cells is true!  We are a precision and wonderful human machine.  Far better than any mechanical thing!  Believe it!

Someone ask me if I would republish one of my posts, so that is what I am doing today.  If you haven’t read it, I hope you enjoy it.  I have published over six hundred and fifty posts!  Yikes – I must love to write!  Yes, I do.

So here it is.  Enjoy and CREATE a beautiful day for yourself and those in your circle of life.  Time is fleeting so take advantage of every single moment.

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Rambling from the heart

Beautiful is a friend who always there for you, even if she should be taking care of herself.
Beautiful is kindness that comes directly from the heart, and is unending for those in need.
Beautiful is a smile that doesn’t have to be pasted on, but one that reflects joy and sincerity.
Beautiful is character that molds itself from life’s experiences, and grows in quality and positive traits.
Beautiful is being able to face someone and look them in the eyes and know they love you too.
Beautiful is faith that is recognized, and credit given to He that paid the highest sacrifice.
Beautiful is genuine motivation to give something in life that shares healing with others.

Beautiful is a word that cannot be fully described, yet you know when you see real beauty because there is a vibrance, and a shining glow that can only be captured with the word beautiful!

Be beautiful  – it’s possible for all – for beauty lies within the heart, so open yours and let your light shine.  When you love, love will come to you bountifully.

Learn to give, and you learn to live!

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This photograph may have you wondering.  I will explain.  One day my daughter said her two children were bored.  She got creative.  She let them make a tent from moving a few things, using a few blankets, and a flashlight.  They had a blast and when done invited her to join them.  You can’t see the kiddos, but you can see my daughter’s leg.  Have fun with your children.  As I have said before, time is fleeting.  To finish – at some point, they all pitched in to clean things up.  What a great afternoon!

P1030453

Sept. 11 – Music to honor firemen, policemen, and all those who lost their lives on that day…

September 11, 2014

And to honor all our military who have paid the ultimate price protecting citizens- either with the critical loss of body and/or mind quality, and those who have given their lives in the service of all of us in the United States of America.  God bless them, and God bless us all.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Photo taken during only one “conflict” – these were boys and girls we lost in ONE DAY.