Posts Tagged ‘humans’

Adapt – Accept – Free – Squander

April 5, 2018

Those are absolutely giant words in each and every human life. The human being has an amazing character to be able to adapt fairly quickly to any situation put before him or her.

The only problem humans face in their willingness to accept what scenario is the challenge before him or her. Though on occasion we have to face a situation that would make anyone cringe, we always have a choice….that choice is to accept the fact we cannot change some things.

Therein, if we are to be happy, we must have a willingness to accept that fact – and move forward from there. If we try to change an unchangeable scenario we will just “spin our wheels” and wind up out of control and unhappy.

This is not an easy challenge, but once accepted you can face “the mountain” squarely, and begin to plan the way you will forge onward and upward from there.

If you adapt and accept you will find no matter what obstacle you face can be overcome. The way you do it may be totally unexpected, and perhaps not what you would choose…but the probability of learning from it, and bettering your life is immense. You might even find, in the long run, you have a better outcome than you expected.

When you adapt and accept you will begin to realize you are free! Free to think, analyze, move on, and open arenas in life you never expected to become well-versed in. You are always free
to choose happiness and growth. When you do you unwittingly pull a better life towards you. You will find your adapting and accepting with “anticipation” and “willingness” to learn and try will also draw people towards you….you open a world, and are free to choose…keeping hope for the best as your own attitude!

If you squander the moments of your life through negligence or inaction, you are not the only one to suffer. If there is one other human being you care for, remember if you do not adapt, and accept you will limit your life much more than the challenge before you, and your choices will affect all who may share your life.

As abruptly as life began, and you open your eyes, you focus, and the world enlarges, in the blink of an eye you are facing the prospect of aging and the ultimate and humbling knowledge that soon you will face death.

If you have adapt and accept all that is placed before you, your life will be filled with freedom and unexpected joy. As your world becomes smaller with age, you will have gained wisdom, cherished each moment as an individual “time of your life”, and will be able to handle the ultimate challenge with grace and ease.

I believe in hugs. I believe in love.

March 16, 2018

When I hug someone I don’t do it for any other reason than I care (of course not including my husband…I love him and am passionately in love with him).

Years ago I taught a class “hug therapy”.  It began because I often walked up to strangers, women in particular, and ask if I could hug them.  I chose people I thought could use a pick me up, a little up close and in personal act of warmth and caring. Often an elderly person, or a person who looked kind of sad or let down.

I was always received with welcome smiles and arms open.  We would share a big hug and both of us left smiling and feeling as if we had exchanged something words could not express.  We both felt better.

At the time I taught high intensity aerobics and also a senior class.  When I began requiring a hug at the end of the session, I only had one person balk.  She said she wasn’t a person who liked to be touched.  Everyone else was totally up to share this sign of affection.

Personally  when I hug someone I am sharing a bit of my health and joy with that person.  Hugs can be very healing and sometimes, invaluable!

A hug should only be shared with permission.  That is called respect.  So at the end of each class students would line up and we each looked in each others eyes, smiled, and hugged.  It was wonderful….

Two things that came of this, were such a wonderful surprise to me.

The lady who chose not to hug watched for weeks as everyone else shared this simple act of closeness, with no expectations.  One day after class she walked towards me and said,”Okay, I will try it.”  She stood still as I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big mindful hug.  (That is just a strong-gentle hug that lasts ten seconds or so, then a release.)  She stood back and smiled.  From that point forward she always waited for a parting hug.  It was lovely because she soon “relaxed” into it, and hugged me back. She told me, “I don’t know what it is, but when we hug I feel like a connection of two living souls.  I feel loved and empowered.”  I often think of that and hope she is still hugging and being hugged.

The other wonderful words bestowed upon me were these:  “I drive twenty-five miles to take this class, and though I like the class a lot – I really come for the hugs.  This is the only time I get hugged all week, and I love it.  It keeps me looking forward to the day…just for that hug.”  This thought still makes me teary-eyed.

When my daughter or girlfriends get together, we often hug tightly and jump up and down for joy!

Such a simple act that can mean so much to another human being. I know “times” are different, and there are so many things we can feel afraid to say or do, but if you can hug someone today, do it!

Just remember to be respectful and ask, “Do you mind if we have a hug?”

Addendum:  I know several Chinese people who say is is not their custom to hug strangers or anyone except husband/wife and family.  We spoke in depth and I do understand the concept and protocol of this custom… I respect their wishes as such….I didn’t ask, but perhaps that is why many bow upon meeting (or is that a Japanese custom?)  I am not certain.  I believe not judging, but respecting “others” customs is important in this melting pot of the world.

Have a beautiful day.

 

 

 

 

A Dream

February 8, 2018

I had a dream, and then another and another – night after night, month after month, year after year. Years turned to decades and I found myself dreaming, still.

Life changed the dreams from beautiful flights of fancy to tears sometimes. Everything in my waking hours turned to dreams. All memories bound together by darkness and restless eyes.

Dreams turned to acknowledgements, wisdom, wishes and the still hope lay in the path to fly again. I saw the future of the core of humans still aspiring, and of those who lost their way. I saw minds turn to stone and move like robots over the dying planet.

I had a dream. All the youthful errors were brought to light and the heart of my heart shone above all others on the browning planet. He was stable and like a rock. He was true, and I was his child and Spiritual friend. All others dissipated like fog in late morning.

I was old and disabled. I passed by a woman who scowled and resented everything. I told her to try to smile. I told her it would make all easier and love would come to her.

I watched young and robust and healthy young woman pivot and turn, with grace and ease. I cried for the exchange of freedom in movement to truth coming. I knew.

I dreamed of the multilevel domes they called stacks. I could see everything outside from within.
Across the glass bridge, everything was transparent and I ran and skipped across it and back to the dome.

Within the confines, which felt limitless, I found myself turning like the tiny ballerina on the music box, again and again I moved with the music in my mind. I spun around the top level of the dome, never faltering, never less than steady. When I stopped I looked at the sky outside and knew I would fly again soon.

“If I could just remember how”, I thought. “I would gently lift, and with my head tilted towards the sky I would put my arms back beside my body. then back further, with fingers together and hands relaxed, still parallel to my body, but behind it now, I would pick up speed and gentle altitude – between the old buildings, now higher in the sky.
Above the empty cities, turning with arms out to my side, above the mountains, above where the green and blue once joined in gentle landscape.”

I remember once I lifted and rose and left the earth.  I flew over the pasture.  I looked down and I was above the goats and cows, and the small farmhouse.  I could smell the fresh green grass and hear the creek below.  I could feel the breeze.  I don’t remember how I came back to my body, but there I lay, still awake in the bed. I listened to the barking of dogs. There were no drugs, no alcohol, yet I had, while fully awake, tasted freedom –  from a time I was restricted to bed to heal from injuries when I had been hit in my car.  I think it was a gift to still my restless heart and strengthen my faith.

I knew I would someday remember again. I was there already within my mind. I flew over small institution cubes where the workers could be monitored, and the core of the common man now lived. Everything had changed. I could see it was near the time.

I lived my life and learned all of it. I did not choose an easy end. I fulfilled my time with grace and still a soft heart.

I awoke and was glad my dreams had finally left me. For so many years in waking hours my mind lived in both the awake world and the dream world. I could not forget either.
But I was meant to learn my lessons and I was tenacious and hungry still for adventure.

I slept and dreamed. I awoke and the light was brilliant. I had seen so many faces in the walls, and floors. I could not be alone and awake, and daydream for a moment that the faces of multitudes did not appear to me.

I was glad to forsake my day on planet earth. I was glad to give up the freedom and treacheries of my dreams. I was glad to be without form in Spirit alone. I knew I was dead. I was finally “as it should be”; as it will be for all – as it is destined to be.

The sky was blue. The stars were really diamonds shining in rainbows of colors, and I could rest and bounce from cloud to cloud. I saw Spirits that had left me. I knew there were Spirits to come. I saw the Man of Sacrifice and Love, and He was the light, and His father still watched over it all. I knew it had been worth it all and I could not recall the time of pain and suffering.

I felt snuggled in love, embraced with truth. I could fly again. Home at last.

I awoke.

America is still a wonderful place to live.

October 5, 2017

I am really irritated. For you football players that “bend” a knee, GO SOMEPLACE ELSE AND TRY TO EARN THE MONEY YOU MAKE IN THE USA! ALSO, IF YOU THINK WE ARE RACIST – GO SOMEPLACE ELSE – BECAUSE every human being on the planet has his or her prejudices! GOODBYE!
This thing has got me going…These spoiled athletes, who “protest” to make a difference, aren’t! All they are doing is dividing people and causing conflicts.
I won’t apologize or say, “everyone has a right to their opinion! Those who have exposure and liberal media behind them, have more than the rights of the individual peasants who really own and reside and pay taxes and live and honor and love America!!!
I am sick of people making pathetic excuses to be weak and not stand up for what they believe. Humans ALL OVER THE WORLD would give everything they own to have the opportunity afforded them in the USA…prejudice? I am white, a woman, my son says I am attractive, and I lived in a moderately financed home when I was small. My mom and dad paid $5,000. for their home…therefore I am BLAMED for the racial prejudice and horrible things going on today. Neither here nor there. I am not to blame! I had no choice how I was born, how I look, my brains, my position in life, the whole ball of wax- draw of the cards!
These athletes, who are probably too young and too rich to remember World War II or even the Koran War or Vietnam, do not get it! PROTEST you MF’ers (Malfunctioning , Flawed humans) – and stay BLIND! If you want to drop on your knee, you had better be doing it in honor of the greatest Spirit of all, who created us!
FOR ME, to stand with hand on heart during the National Anthem means I honor all those who have suffered and died, and those who have lived with horrible disabilities…to keep us free! I honor their sacrifices and the sacrifices their families made, and still make! Our National Anthem is a symbol of our country, and the flag- another symbol of this great country we live in…of the blood shed to keep us free!
Athletes kneeling to protest brutality and inequality? The only thing they do is cause more difficulty, and more separating of people. Look up TRUE facts and you will find more people of color KILL their own than police! Yes the brutality to blacks by police officers can be harsh, but it is laid upon suspects and criminals by officers that are black too! AND, oftentimes the brutality BEGINS with those suspects and criminals fighting the police first! WHAT WOULD YOU DO??
Oprah is one of the richest women in the world, a man who is proud to be black (though that is each person’s opinion) was president, black athletes are multi-millionaires, black actors are millionaires – so wherein is all the inequality? Poverty is the culprit, and there are very poor white people in this country too!
AS FAR AS THE CLASPING OF ARMS – my personal opinion, “throw-up, gag, vomit.” Purely BS (Brilliant Strategy ) by, I am sure, managers who encouraged players to show “Unity” even if they don’t drop to their knee. Well, DUH, they have to show unity to keep people buying tickets, and to keep misleading the meaning of what their are doing.
SHOW UNITY TO YOUR PROVIDERS:
Drop to your knee to praise God! People are born with physical attributes, so don’t take too much credit for natural skills your were born with-be grateful.
Unify as citizens of the greatest country in the world by standing with your hand on your heart facing the flag “ White signifies purity and innocence. Red, hardiness & valour, and Blue… signifies vigilance, perseverance & justice.”. The stars represent the “union” of the states. Added to the description in 1977: “The star is a symbol of the heavens and the divine goal to which man has aspired from time immemorial, and the stripe symbolic of the rays of light emanating from the sun.”….
Sing our National Anthem! “ An anthem is “A patriotic musical composition that evokes and eulogizes the history, traditions, and struggles of its people, recognized either by a nation’s government as the official national song, or by convention through use by the people.”
I admit it is difficult to sing and the range is beyond me, but at least I will stand with my hand over my heart and try!

Good Morning!

August 22, 2017

GOOD MORNING! Good morning my brothers and sisters. To be writing and to be reading means we are alive and I say thank you Great Spirit, Creator beyond our understanding and comprehension……thank you! Counselor who never tires of hearing my prayers, and never leaves me.

You have given us heart and the ability to smile. You have given human beings the instant spark to be strong and open to helping others when the need is great.

You have given us strength of mind and body when tragedy comes upon us, to rise and to move onward and upward.

You are the song in my heart and the backbone in this tenacious and weary body. You have given me the power to move beyond my own ability and the drive to go on…

The mysteries of the skies and beauty of the wispy clouds that run across the warm of the sun, but for a moment, are wonders to behold.

You have given us an appetite to learn more about everything we see and touch.
Often I have given less than I was able because sometimes I am only human, and forget that I have you within me, to brighten my outlook and stretch beyond my limits.

You have given me faith. From whence it comes I know not, but like the ocean breeze it cools and wets my face awakening this beating heart to begin again.

With the light of the day my mind begins to challenge me to get up and move and make this fine instrument once again, regardless of the pressing in of life, open my arms and lift them to praise you for so many miracles that happen each moment, many of which we simply do not take the time or energy to recognize.

Like an old friend, I trust you to elevate my thoughts, strength my mind, bring peace and happiness from within and let it burst into fruition to add to life for me and those in my circle of life.

Thank you oh Great Spirit of forgiveness, patience, and love. Thank you for knowing I cannot understand it all. For that which does not come to me clearly – please forgive me. I will try again to make you happy in my creation, after all is said and done.

I was given so much, and all you ask is that I have faith and love.

My blessed Creator, you are the grandest of all, and yet I am free to address you and love you. Mysterious and amazing.

Lovingly, your humble servant,
Marsha

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HOW TO RECEIVE LOVE

June 6, 2017

This sounds like a very strange statement. I am not writing about sexual love….for a woman that kind of love can happen at the snap of a finger. For a man, a bit tougher, but the trend has been “if he works it right…”

I am writing about the kind of love that makes it almost humanly impossible to live without. The kind of love that even someone who says, “I don’t need anybody.” will ultimately drive him or her, (if absolutely alone long enough) mad.

The inborn need to receive love is just a part of the living soul and human physiology. In other wards, we are born to need love to fill in one of the empty spaces in our hearts.

You may or may not agree with these statements, but in all my years of writing, I have never written anything but what I know to be truth. Yes, the “truth”, as I know it, might have something to do with what life has given and taken away from me. I understand this.

In my particular case, however, I have while in this tiny body lived through at least one instance of everything you can think of that can happen to a human being. We all have our “crosses to to beard, alluding to Jesus, as he was forced to carry his own cross to his crucifixion.

I hesitate now and realize there are several things I have not had to endure in this life. I am grateful for those nightmares manifesting in my life, and I shall not give them credence. I’ve learned this much. Do not give in to fear of anything, nor be certain the evil will happen to you.

Do not open the door for evil or negative in any manner, and you shall save yourself a life of fear and worry. Draw the positive to you by thought. “As we think, so shall we be….”

Those words mean everything! Thought dreams press us forward, thoughts motivate us and keep us from fear – if we endeavor to keep our thoughts of a higher nature.

In other wards remember that no matter what happens to us, we are always given – one hundred percent of the time – the choice to pick our response. A beautiful way to happiness is to choose the positive road. In EVERY scenario, at some point, you will be able to use what has happened, or is happening, to either learn and grow, or wither and loose the power we have been given…all of us has this power within.

Kind of got off on a side road, but my thoughts are play a part in the adventure of learning to receive love. It is out there and available to us. All of us!

It doesn’t matter who you are, how much you have or don’t have, how you match up to the media’s judgments (meaning internet, magazines, books, television or any avenue of transporting “opinions.” Those written words are also just a compilation of opinions.

Now down to the nitty gritty. Here are ten ways to receive love!

1. You must love you first! Drop all the preconceived notions you’ve heard about you! Dig deeply and find who you really think you are – and / or who you would like to be! It is all based on perception…your own. I can honestly say I have only meant a few “ugly people in my life. Those few people may have been handsome, brilliant, and talented initially. You KNOW my next statement is true: after getting to know that person, depending on their heart and actions, they will either still be as you first saw them, or perhaps even more handsome or lovelier. However if they are horrible people, ugly in nature, do evil things and are arrogant or filled with other negative things, they will become less handsome, less brilliant, and less “everything” as you get to know them. This is a true statement. You know it is. So dig deeply and even if you only find one thing you love about yourself, make it prominent – love it, invest in it, and love yourself. If you can’t love yourself no one else will be able to either!
2.  At first meeting (when appropriate) SMILE. Smile either by getting into the habit or just because you are now happy you love something about yourself…because loving yourself makes you innately feel worthy. So smile, smile, smile. Nothing opens the door to invite love as effectively as turning to meet someone and seeing them wearing a broad and honest smile. Maybe “just because.” I often find myself smiling for no reason in particular. It feels better. Perhaps love your smile! Others will for sure. (I don’t mean looking in a mirror. I believe satan created mirrors and scales! Think about it.) This will draw people towards you.

3. If meeting someone for the first time and a handshake is offered, give a good strong one. Nothing says confidence and personal strength as a sturdy handshake; man or woman. A judgment is made, believe me, by the quality of your handshake. Make it like you sincerely are glad to meet this person. This will draw this person into “your perception.”…a smile means happy, and it can also mean joy for life, a good secret, admiration for the person you share a handshake with, and much more. It is a valuable tool in beginning to receive love
4. Be concise and BRIEF in your statements in that introductory meeting. I write so I usually write a book as opposed to a post. I need to follow this rule myself. Therein, I will finish with number 5 and post and wait until I honestly have the time to finish this comfortably without putting extra pressure on myself knowing I have pressing things to do today. Unless you are brought into the conversation do not offer your life story!
5. Listen. Honestly and thoroughly listen to the person who is speaking. Do not think about what you will say when that person is finished. We all do this once in a while, and some people rarely think about what the other person is saying, and simply think about when they get “stage center” and review their own responses. Be yourself, and let your natural self flourish. Listen. Show interest in the other persons comments and thoughts….you might learn something valuable. Ask. Ask about the person and then listen! Use your memory to remember names (that is important), and the information they are sharing. Honestly, if you really aren’t interested in listening you will never get to know this person and your chances of receiving love are pretty low. Remember. They will appreciate the fact you really cared enough, upon first meeting….and meetings thereafter…to listen and remember. Those are enduring qualities. They nurture seeds of potentially flowering love.

It’s time to tear myself from today’s post and do the things I know I need to do. This is an example of how to love yourself. You will appreciate the fact YOU take care of business! That alone should make you smile. Don’t forget to smile. It is urgent in the quest for real and relationships, friendships, and love.

CREATE a beautiful day. I send my hopes for real blessings for you, and my love!

Everything Physical

May 23, 2017

I awoke this morning after my horrific awake/dream (yesterdays post), and my first thought was a song “I have Jesus in my heart – you take Him too”. ..Well that was my first thought…so I climbed out of bed singing as I got a big drink of water and now a cup of coffee next to me.

My husband told me my struggle waking yesterday morning may have just been a continuation of my dream until I sat up. It is a possibility, though I firmly believe I was awake going from dream to physical reality.

My second thought this morning was physical…my back hurt and the pain (which is with me now until I pass on..) just is the way it is, so “boo-hoo”, everyone suffers. I will try to handle this within me. Why pass on the pain? I would rather pass on the joys and revelations of life.

The thought was not actually about my pain, it was about how physical pain transfers to mental anguish.  And that isn’t “just mental?,” you might think . Systems in our body function as a finely tuned violin. When one system is amiss, it does affect all others. Perhaps not immediately or constantly, but when the blood flows differently (say a blockage, or damages to the nerves that sit in proximity to the blood flow and the muscles) – You may realize Mind / Body / Spirit is not just a clever word mix, it is the absolute truth!

Sometimes I can actually feel the blood flow in my head or other parts of my body. I am in sync with feeling (or not feeling because of nerves) certain things that are happening to my body.  Listen to your body. Work with it.

As a former personal trainer and dancer, the fact that most of both my feet have severe nerve damage as a residual from breaking my back, is paramount to me. Aside from pain, numbness and a clumsy attempt to walk (as if I am actually able to balance without a cane 🙂 all affect me mentally as well….I don’t mean my mood, but the activity of my brain and other parts of my body.   Poor activity in my feet- unable to feel, blood flow perhaps, numbness in various parts of my body TRULY affects my mental state (as in “boy am I mental” (haha – that’s a given!)  and my physical state – because things don’t work properly -my entire being, is actually affected. Hence, Mind/body/spirit.

Somehow in re-reading that last paragraph, I think it might need changing…hope you find clarity in my meaning.  I am scattered today.

Think about it. Cut yourself some slack if you just don’t feel as good as you once did because of injuries or accidents or the aging process. Its probably not your fault…so don’t fret about it. You STILL have 100 percent. choice of how you respond to all these life altering events…..that is a huge gift!

Choose happiness always. Choose patience and understanding of YOUR OWN plight. Choose to understand that probably few really can step into to your shoes, though there are some that absolutely can physically! Wherein, you can excel until the day you die, and that is the use of your POWER of choice to behold life still in the best of terms. I have an advantage because I have a hidden source of constant help with the Holy Spirit within…seriously my best friend and help mate.

USE the magical gifts you perceive, dream of and pursue….All can STILL be achieved if you are “Mental” like I am. My husband says I live in Disneyland….join me, it is just a heck of a lot more fun, and WHY NOT? It’s just life!  Of course I can’t do everything I’ve always done, but it is fun to meet and rise above any challenge that faces me.  At least try!

Please take in a deep breath. Shout out an Amen (it means “so be it”) and now a BIG SMILE – just because you can! Back at you…..

DREAM

May 22, 2017

Since I broke my back there have been many residual effects physically that I deal with on a basis between me and God. So many emotions and set backs, so much to deal with physically and mentally. Yet I know many living souls must endure hardships.

The dream last night was the most predominant over me physically that I have ever had. It was terrifying. It almost kept me prisoner. I normally awake at 8AM, but on occasion 7 or 7:30. I couldn’t see the clock that has quietly ticked by my bed since mama gave it to me over twenty years ago.

I closed my eyes peacefully, exhausted. I began remembering the horror that beset my life so many years earlier.

I was in the midst of the most time of unrest, confusion and pleasure concocted together in a cocktail of alcohol, remorse, sadness and joys of the the highest in nature…shaken with physical pain and turmoil.

The dream manifested in a home near a large prison. The home itself was a giant maze of rooms and windows and people. I was traveling with someone who gave me love and caused me grief simultaneously. Mixed with memories of past and what seemed the present, we spent time with people who seemed nice but had motives beyond the purity of my mind. It seemed as if the entire place was a nest of normal looking people who were scarred or playing games of sex and violence.

My traveling companion and I parted often while in this house, as the hostess was showing me the projection of the continuous building of the house. He disappeared and appeared frequently enough not to be unsettling.

She showed me the biggest room being built, and it faced a prison, both with men and women.
You could see them though an iron fence clearly – walking and being lead here and there. Suddenly officers burst into the room and told the woman she would need to close up all windows facing the prison. The next few minutes were confusing and filled with the bustle of officers and strange faces confronting one another.

I knew it was time to go. I didn’t want to be there anyway. I thought someone I had believed to be in the prison was with my animals, and I needed to find out for sure. That was the purpose of the trip. It was then the companion appeared. He had been having sex with many of the women. I swallowed hard but wasn’t hurt. I just wanted to leave.

I knew this had happened and I told my companion “We need to leave. He hemmed and said it was made excuses to keep stopping on the trek. We made our way through the rooms and I politely said goodbye, I am leaving. He chose to come but stopped along the way and was engaged in sex with both genders now. If was a sickness. There were excuses made. His spirit had left him exiting through indulgences.. There was no excuse to me.

Ready to go, sitting in a blue vehicle that was open, long, and with only two seats. It was more like sitting in a futurist ride at a fairground, but it was sitting next to others similar, in nature. No wheels, no steering. He said he needed to do something before we left. I sat.

Then I got up and looked and he was sexually interacting with several men. I had to leave, only to find myself wondering from place to place in what seemed like a number of stores with cobblestone walk ways. I saw a mix of others…some of his kind – those he had known, and many who were in my position. I was exhausted and sat down to get off my feet. They had begun to be numb again, tingling and painful.

I heard music, rather a loud rhythm to music, like a drum in the distance getting louder. All I wanted to do was get out of there. Before I could leave someone brought my traveling companion and said he had caring for him. He had been in a fight and my fraudulent friend was in a state of permanent brain damage, and would be there laying down forever. He was still with eyes closed. It was better. I told him I could not take him and I could not stay. The man nodded.

The next thing I remember clearly was thinking I needed to move and get out of there. I opened my eyes and tried to move. I was in bed laying on my side and my feet wouldn’t move….its happened before for a moment upon waking, but this time it seemed my arms, (one by my side, and one overhead) wouldn’t move. I tried to keep my eyes open, but they began to close and I was in the dream again, with the drumming loud now. I closed my eyes and felt absolute fear.

I tried again to open my eyes, or to move, and though they opened and I was cognizant of wanting to move, they closed again and I couldn’t. I was frozen in that position, literally frozen, but my mind knew I had to move. I thought of calling the dog to awaken me, but words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I was terrified now. My eyes closed again and I knew I was returning to this place – but I knew I must not do so. I did briefly, then startled myself trying to awake.

I turned to God now as I always do and asked for help. As He always does, in one way or another, He made me know I was going to move. He never leaves me but asks only that I call upon Him for help.

I moved my my arm above my head and wiggled my fingers. I worked my eyes until they stayed open, and began to force my back to turn and my legs to move. It was terrified to be frozen in real time. Terrified. It was not a dream now….I had passed from a state of unconscious life not under my control…. I was coming back. I moved my arm now that was at my side, and used it to help turn me to my back. I felt the sting of pain, and a push behind me.
When I first moved, I felt I wanted to return to the place I had just been…I had not gotten the task of finding my dog and my friend completed. That wasn’t it. I somehow wanted, in part, to return. But I was horrified at the thought of laying there unable to moved and with my mind and body fully in another place – one that was filled with fear and one that took the purity of my mind and held it captive.

My eyes wanted to close, but only God could keep them open. The thought of Him empowered my movements and I turned to my other side, forcing my legs and feet to move with me.

I took a breath and abruptly sat and then with feet still not under my control I stood and moved quickly to keep my presence. I ambled down the hallway, saw the dog laying in the kitchen, and he lifted his head and looked at me. Somehow he senses when I am in peril and I was still terrified. I moved from room to room awakening those frozen limbs, my eyes now fully opened.

I was beyond that place and wandering from room to room, until fully separated. I knew I had to write this dream, as I do many dreams, and begin to live in this world again. This struggle with my body movement and breaking loose was not a dream. I feel I am to reiterate – “Time is of the essence. Move, be alive and choose wisely.”

Minutes passed and I asked the dog to sit on the bed next to me, which he eagerly did, as I reached for this laptop to record the nights events and the exit from one real world to the other.

My exit is complete now and I feel exonerated from the night. I was not deluded with alcohol or other drugs when I said good night to my husband and switched off the light.

I am fully awake now. I don’t want to go to that place again. It has nothing for me. I stopped writing for a moment, stretched my neck and turned and looked at the clock. One hour has passed since the trauma of awakening and movement began. It feels good to be able to stretch and move. I am scarred but alive – I never want to be taken away like that wherein I am “almost” unable to return.
I remember my dreams, sometimes for years, though I have never been trapped like that in one before. I do not want to experience that again. I know my dreams will continue. I know this dream has meaning for those who understand.

Before I could post this, my dog jumped off the bed in panic. I rushed to the backslider and opened it and he proceeded to throw up from the beginning of the patio to the edge of the grass.
Far-fetched I know, but looking at the mess to clean up. I thought he took the remnants of the horrible feelings I had on this bed, in escaping this dream, and he vomited them up .

He feels better now, and so do I.

I have thanked God for the power He bestows upon anyone, no matter what his or her history, for just believing. I have asked and pleaded all my life for things. It would be so remiss of me not to remember to praise and thank God for His power in my life.

I want to dream of flying again. For this awakening I press towards what remains of my living days on this planet earth as a human being. I am grateful.

The Perfect Flower

April 16, 2017

My love he watches by the fence, His gazing eyes my heart to clench…
Nothing more could be as sweet, as lying at my lover’s feet.
If all the world condemned in me, that moment of sweet ecstasy;
I’d seek him in my darkest hour, as looking for the perfect flower.
I’d listen close to hear his voice, he is the one; my only choice…
To find him at the break of day, then stay until the day gives way…
Just like honey on my lips, his presence holds me in its grips.
He lays his hand upon my face, full of mercy… full of grace!
Oh dear heart, please stay with me, your true love… I’ll always be.
All other loves I’ve cast aside, my love for you… I cannot hide.
I wait and wait till midnight hour, and then I’ll find the perfect flower.

mamaschronicles.org

 

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!

February 27, 2017

GOOD GOOD MORNING! I am alive and ready to eat the day! I plan to make it sumptuous!

No matter what the weather my heart will be elevated because I have the choice – one hundred percent, to carry this day to heaven or hell. Heaven it will be!

I will be grateful for that which has been given to me by the grace of God. Grateful for that innate ability to laugh every day (of course there are exceptions) – but not often. Grateful for every tiny blessing that profoundly lifts my life to a rapid but gentle current from hour to hour.

I stopped and said a prayer a moment ago. I asked thanked God and asked for guidance.
Even if you don’t “know” what you believe….pray daily and do your best. I can”t guarantee you sixty thousand dollars in ten days after posting this and sending it to 10 friends (I am silly), but I will GUARANTEE if you pray just a prayer every morning and do your best, you will be happier, and God will direct your tootsies around the mud puddles, and elevate your thoughts and “reactions” to life, to a smile for no reason.

We rarely trust in ourselves. Pray a tiny prayer consistently for a month and then afterward, simply do your best, make the best choices you can, and HELP WILL COME YOU WAY – and happiness!

 

I PROMISE. (Keep believing someone bigger than you is taking over and QUIT that tiresome and useless worry.). Worry is exhausting and does nothing to change things!

Also, be careful if you use candles, or one of those fragrance things that needs a candle to disburse the fragrance. Enthusiastically I blew hard to get out the tiny candle and I blew hot wax all over the place! I didn’t get burned, but I started laughing right away, because if I didn’t have enough to do, now I had to clean up this mess!

candle-wax

Oh well. I can climb a mountain (slowly and carefully of course), so I can certainly clean up wax and still meet all these “important” tasks that loom over our heads each day. That “stuff” will get done….but HAPPINESS and JOY in your life are the real goal! You will make others smile and laugh too. Now get to it, and blow the candle out softly. 🙂