Posts Tagged ‘pain’

May 2, 2014

Just a quick Thursday good morning, afternoon or evening to you . The days are flying by and I have been trying to complete six books before it’s time to die. No one knows when that will happen and I have spent most of my life writing so I determined sometime after my accident no one will finish what it’s taken me years to write – except me!

Believe it or not they are mostly written – the most difficult part is proofing, making covers and getting everything just right to be put on Amazon. I had a contract with a publishing company for one of my books – the one on how to care for an aging parent – but they sat on it for seven years and I am blessed those years just finished.

I have reconciled, to accept my disabilities as permanent-only because of my faith in God, and my tenacious drive for life, can I do this.  It was a year ago today I was in surgery with a great neurosurgeon (thank you Lord) and getting my back fixed after a burst compression fracture.  I could be completely paralyzed, or dead!

To accept my disabilities as permanent is difficult, but not impossible. Such is life. It isn’t always what we expect, but I expect the best, and perhaps my vision will be clearer now that I am unable to dance all over the place! I can walk (it’s not a very pretty walk), and I have to use a can, and I can write. I can dance in a way, and surely in my head.

I am a stubborn little woman, and my husband still says, after 26 years, a hand full.

So the books will be done within this year. That is my determination. This is what they are:

  1. Lessons in Love – about taking care of a parent, giving them happiness until they die, and not going crazy or getting exhausted in the process. It’s kind of a love story about me caring for my mama for ten years – and we both gained from it!

I am exhausted tonight so I will ignore any typos (sorry!)

2.Whiskeyton. Has nothing to do with Whiskey! This photography- views of a lake and the surrounding mountains from a kayak. Took me from 2004-20011 to get all the photographs, and there will be inspiration (I hope) with each photo, and a Bible verse below. I think, whether you believe in the Bible or not, it is a great book for training in life. It will be for children and adults.

3. The Last Resort – Photographs (again), a  view of the homeless in my area, and of course some interviews and thoughts on the scenario.

4.  Toll 63 – a very interesting book about the lives of an oilman in the early days, a disabled and vibrant young woman, and what transpires when they join forces.  It progresses and follows the life of one of their twins.  The time spans from 1916 to this very day!  I love it so far – do you think I am predjudice?

4.  The Best Bedtime Stories. Positive and fun, the stories are done and I am just waiting for the illustrations.

5.  Poetry, Prose and Private Property.  This book could spares no details and touches every aspect of being human!

I am not trying to brag, there are so many unbelievable authors, but I feel good about my work.  I feel like it is from the heart, experience, and always with a positive overtone – no matter how difficult the experience.

Therein is why my posts have been thin in nature.

I am not trying to brag, but I am not a “salesperson” and if I don’t know the quality of my own “products” I should not sell!  I do think God gives each of us a gift and I am working hard at using it!

Well, that’s it for now. Just an update as to where I have been. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE – don’t waste a second of your precious life in anger, fear, or hate. It is NOT WORTH IT as you truly will be the one who pays the big price.

LOVE ONE ANOTHER. I love you for reading! I love you for being my brother and sister human beings! God bless you and your families. I mean it sincerely!

This day will be wonderful! I insist!

March 11, 2014

I woke up this morning and wondered if I could handle what lies before me.It was then I realized that all I have to live is this day.I can certainly, even with limitations, live one brief day – purely trusting God.

I cannot see Him, nor can I see the breeze…but I can feel the breeze!I cannot touch Him, but I can touch a child, and feel the miracle of life.

I cannot hug Him, but I can feel the warmth of the sun, nurturing me, and sustaining my life.

I cannot prove to you that He exists, but I can rise above whatever tries to hold me down,

And show you by my Faith that His power resides within us all, and abides with us if we just ask…

I will stand tall, even though I lost height when I was injured, and my feet are unsteady.

I will breathe in the breath of life because I can, and it empowers me, to see the stars I seek.

I will forge through all the muck and mire, and never tire of pushing on,

Because I somehow KNOW He loves me, and I want you to know,


It may not seem like it to you right now, but I am certain we have shared similar pangs and pains of being human.  If I am able, YOU are able!

You are NOT alone.  If you must, “play” for the day.  Pretend you believe.  File those hard times with a “grain of salt”, as they say.  This too shall pass, so PLEASE, ENJOY YOUR DAY.  It is a one of a kind.  It will never be again.

Insist on love and happiness – Just for this day put all those giant concerns to rest – promise to tackle them tomorrow!  Life changes so quickly.  My life is changed forever – who knows what may be tomorrow – Fill your life with joy today, laugh and sing, and the best will come your way!

Go on now, do it, I dare you.  Laugh!  Sing out loud!  Do you think all will be lost if you actually force yourself to rest and regenerate?  Even just a little will change your day.

Do not give in to hell. Loosen those chains you manifest from what seems “unchangeable hardships”. Make heaven resound from within YOU, and the angels will sing around you.

You think I am silly?  You think this impossible?  I can almost hear them now!






Good morning, good afternoon, good evening! Welcome to my blog!

February 7, 2014

It seems like it has been forever since I wrote on either of my blogs.  I had a full hip replacement and am in the healing mode.

This is the surgery I had (not my surgery): – anterior hip replacement surgery.

I watched it before and after (just to remind me of why I still hurtJ), but at least I can have moments without pain, and within a few months I will be walking liberally again, with little pain.

Praise God!  Man was given Intellect, and in some cases actually uses it!  I am grateful I was privileged to have the surgery, and grateful for it’s creation.  I am doing as much walking in our home, as I am able, and some exercises to help me along.  I have to keep in mind, eleven months ago I had a burst compression fracture, and emergency surgery.

For this reason my healing may take a bit longer.  I have to modify certain exercises as I still have many residual problems from the incident.

I will be writing on my website soon, and sharing some things I hope will help any of you who have to work through surgery or healing of any type

I also have been retyping and updating a manuscript I wrote about ten years ago.  It is about caring for an elderly mother until death.  I was foolish and signed a contract with a publishing company who said they wanted the book.  The contract was for seven years, and all they did for seven years was sit on it!

So soon I will be republishing it with some alterations, a new cover, and a ton of love in hopes it will help ease the job of care giving.  Over ten thousand baby boomers are turning sixty-five every day, and the need for caregivers have jumped expotientally.

I am going to publish it on Amazon Books and Kindle.  My full name is Marsha J. O’Brien, and the title is “Lessons of Love.”  I am almost ready and will post when it is on.

In the meantime I wrote a post about a situation for you to ponder!

First I will preface this with saying, I am not prejudice.  I am no judge of anyone – we are all born, without choice, to a human being.  I was born, I believe, to worship God, and love my fellow man.  But I had no choice of place or culture, or color.  We are all human on this planet earth, and we all share so many emotions and matters of the heart.

I heard something on the news, though, that has irritated the heck out of me.  There is an ILLEGAL alien who was brought into this country when a child, attended high school, and graduated college.  I give accolades to him for those successful endeavors.

He studied to be an attorney and has passed the bar.  The state of California has allowed him to become an attorney.  Here is my problem.  He had YEARS TO STUDY AND BECOME A CITIZEN OF OUR GREAT COUNTRY.  Decades.

Here is my question.  How can someone who is an ILLEGAL citizen, represent people as an attorney, defining the legality of laws and scenarios in question?

Illegal means: il·le·gal – contrary to or forbidden by law, esp. criminal law

Contrary to or forbidden by law, esp. criminal law ”

synoynoms : unlawful, illicit, illegitmate, criminal, fraudlent, etc.

Noun:  illegal ailen

So think about it.  What do you think? Per

Please stay well.  My friend’s husband, who just got over the nastiest two-week broncitis, just came home sick again today.  He is not normally a sick guy.

Wash your hands.  Cover your mouth with the inside corner of your elbow, if you are sick.  Wash you hands!  Wash your hands!

A cough travels over sixty-five miles an hour, and so does a sneeze.

Some virus and bacteria infections stay active for half hour or so, even after someone touches a computer or hand-ail.

God bless you all!


October 30, 2013

I awoke this morning and knew if I moved it would be painful.  So I moved.  I lay for a moment and thought: “What shall the day bring?”  Pain sucks, and we all know it.  We all have pain.  It comes with being of the human kind. I lay looking at the ceiling fan and thought of Shakespeare and God.  Not in that order . Methinks it would humblest my soul, and rightly so, to bend upon knees and pray for strength and power to move forward in this day. Alas, I cannot bow, as yet, my weakened back and legs will not let me follow my heart. God knows I want to bow.  So I closed my eyes and thought, I have not yet shed blood for those I love.

My sacrifices have been small thus far.  Perhaps today I will find a way to shine the light of God from within and shower someone with love purely for love’s sake.When I am at my weakest, God is at His strongest for me.  I know that.  There is not a question in my heart.  So, I meandered to the kitchen and poured that steamy cup of coffee.  I immediately added a teaspon of the sweet stuff and a bit of milk.  These days the taste that used to be pure coffee, is rather different.  Perhaps I am.

Here I sit doing what I love to do – writing.  My dog looked at me, with those eyes, and here she sits next to me.  I can feel her breathing quietly.  She is happy.  I am happy too.Today I will rise above my challenges and see what I can do to make a difference!  I want to be one of the lights in all the darkness that abides with vigor at this time.of need on our planet.  Our lights will diminish the darkness, one at a time.

Praise God, or if He hasn’t found you, appreciate and be grateful for the smallest thing.It will change your day and diminish your pain – no matter how bad you think it is. Don’t give the pain the power.  Grasp it in your hand and pull yourself up by the power of God, and the power of YOU.You can do it.  I am.  I care and I really love you – where ever you are – and whom ever you are.  We are family.  Earthlings dwelling on our planet together for a brief moment in time.


Check out my other short post on I Like it.  Have a beautiful day.


September 17, 2013

Some spices may be laced with salmonella.  seven percent of imported spices carry salmonella.  Some 15 percent of coriander, twelve percent of oregano and basil and four percent of black pepper tested positive.  The infection causes diarrhea, fever, cramps, and in RARE cases death.  Best way to avoid being sickened is to apply before cooking – since heat kills the bacteria.


I read an article that said on average left-handed people earn six percent less than right- handed people.  Researches speculate the difference is caused by brain abnormalities that are more common among the left-handed.  (Reference – AND YOU BET I will check this out.  I am left-handed.


“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward.  So you have to TRUST that the dots will somehow connect in your future.  You have to trust in something-your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.  This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

                                    Steve Jobs


If you laugh out loud, it increases your heart rate, can reduce stress, and it actually fights infection!  So get started.  J


When you hold on to resentment it is like swallowing a poison and hoping the other person will die.  Just doesn’t make sense.


I had a TERRIBLE PAIN day!  But guess what?  Life goes on.  I managed it as best as possible, took care of what needed to be done, and remembered that any moment could be my last one – so I worked through the pain and whatever limits it puts on my life, smiled, and thought… “Whatever” – this too shall pass.  Be happy!  I had a good day. I am still in terrible pain, but maybe tomorrow it will settle down….who knows!

I just refuse to be miserable, and I will never give up, and never give in.  No miserable sourpuss in my home!  Just happy little me.  Onward and upward.  YOU BE HAPPY TOO!  God bless.  Here is a bouquet for you!



May 18, 2013

Never think of a day as mundane. Please never say you are “killing time”.

Lastly remember that just when you think things will never change,

changes will come and turn your life around.  You can be sure in this lifetime CHANGE is inevitable.

It has been several weeks since I have written consistently, and for those of you who follow my blog, you know I had a fall in January and have been treated for a compression fracture in L1 (Lumbar part of the spinal cord).

Because of a staggering number of unprofessional medical doctors and careless follow-up and  treatments, I paid the price…I started with a 15% compression fracture that could have been treated with vertebroplasty, and left me pain free within hours of the surgery.

Instead I have just had two emergency major surgeries on my back.  The compression fracture ended up being 70%.  My doctor had released me, no more brace and said to call if I needed him.

To make a long story short, I was rushed by ambulance to have first a

Laminectomy, and then an emergency surgery on a burst compression fracture, a type of traumatic spinal injury.

You can go to youtube and look up Tll-L3 Fusion with Instrumentation and should come up with the exact surgery (one of them) I had.

I don’t know how it will all work out, but all the things I thanked God for are still the same (except me!), so I am still grateful and motivated to try to take each day as it comes.

My feet are totally numb.  I have quite a bit of pain, and I have to learn to walk again as my left foot is very weak, and so much is going on because of the surgeries.

I found a video that shows exactly what I had to have done, except it’s not me, it’s a man.  It’s been quite an eye-opener. Have never posted a video and don’t know how to do it – and honestly  am not up to exploring how to do it tonight.

Two days in intensive care, several more in the hospital, and now about two weeks in a rehab hospital; with at least several more weeks to go.

So please everyone – let the petty things dissipate and pay attention to loving one another.  Enjoy the use of your legs to walk, and the freedom to sit in

the shade and watch the shimmering leaves on a tree dance in the breeze.

God bless you and I hope and pray nothing like this ever happens to you!

But if it does, keep the faith, say your prayers, ACCEPT what you cannot change, and change what you can by working hard to recover and redesign your life accordingly.  J

March 23, 2013

Oh friend so far away ,

You sent me light and love today!

Can I still be blue and drown in pain?

I think not, for what is there to gain?

I will forge to wellness and smile with  joy,

I will breathe in the breath of life.

I will never forget my blessings,

the large ones and the small.

For there are many each day,

I am grateful for them all.

Your concern was like a warm breeze ,

brushing the pain aside – to make way for my healing.

Some times when we are searching the fog for a clear place to see,

We may need a friend to help, a friend such as thee.

You know who you are!

A kind deed, a kind word spoken, or written with sincere concern of heart.

The worth cannot be measured to me.

Thank you for the gift, you helped  to set me free.


I’ve been watching bees and butterflies in the cherry tree, and the grass grow! ————————–


If you are overwhelmed with stress try reading :

Pain Bites!

March 22, 2013

First, let me say this, I published this on my stressmanagementmagic website so you may have read it: however, I just re-read it and it helped me, so I am publishing it here in case it may give you a hand in dealing with YOUR pain!  Have a beautiful day – no matter what!

Definition of Pain:  aching, tingling, throbbing, stabbing, debilitating, punishment (really!), agonizing, piercing, horrific, mild, severe……WHATEVER!

Pain is pain, but it’s not all the same.

Mine is worse than yours.

No yours worse than mine.

“I’ve had mine longer.”

“But mine is stronger.”

“Well I have mine all the time.”

Pain, therefore, is whatever the person experiencing it, says it is.

As we compare our pain with someone else, an epiphany must occur.   There is NO COMPARISON to be made.  Since every single one of us is a different human being, and our chemical makeup, spiritual base, experiences, physiology, and intellect are diverse, a comparison is not only impossible, it is ludicrous.

The International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) defines pain as “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage or described in terms of such damage.”

However, pain is a symptom that cannot be objectively assessed by another.  The person who is having it must assess pain!

I won’t say I had more pain today than any other person.  I can only judge for myself when I say it was a rough pain day today.  I probably exacerbated it because I find it nearly impossible to sit still, even with a compressed fracture of L1.

Keep in mind now with that being said – we can control our pain, in part.  Pay attention to pain.  It is a warning.  It can also be a consequence.

You have a right to your honest pain, and so do I.  You cannot feel guilty because others might have more pain than you and you feel like a whiner.

We all handle pain differently, and only you can be the judge as to how you handle pain.  I personally can handle a fair amount of pain without grumbling or crying, but there is a point when I allow myself tears or extra prayers, or just feeling low for a time.

What I have discovered is that not allowing myself to wallow in pain seems to diminish the overwhelmed feeling I might have had.

Another thing that helps my pain is to divert my attention to something or someone else.  Hence, today I write about pain, and actually – I feel better now.

Lastly, always remember to use your oxygen to help control your pain.  When we feel pain we have a tendency to hold our breath because of it.  When that pain hits, TAKE a DEEP SLOW BREATH in and visualize the oxygen going to the area that needs to be healed.  It will.

Remember breathing creates a pharmaceutical of wonderful natural painkillers for you.  Truly.  That is the physiology of the body.

When you exhale, visualize all the carbon dioxide and lots of pain flying out your fingertips into oblivion.  Then do the whole thing for five minutes or so.  You will feel better.  I hope you do!

I do.

Never let your pain change who you are!

March 14, 2013

NEVER let your pain, or the challenges of  life, swallow you whole!

Stand up and shout, “I’ll never let go”.

I have love to give, and life to live, no matter

the challenges are before me.

I will hang on with my fingertips, or my toes if need be,

To move onward and upward and claim  – “I am free.”

Free to choose to follow the direction from Spirit.

Free to sing prayers of praise to our God.

Free to heal and be happy, consumed by the power of love!

CREATE A BEAUTIFUL WORLD FOR YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES (and even strangers-we are supposed to love one another).  Rest and recreate with your children.

Hug your mama and daddy for their times are limited.  Be a NICE human.  The word nice is quite underrated.  I have been married to the nicest man I ever met for almost twenty five years, and we are still in love!

Do something kind for someone today.  If you are in pain, dire pain, take a breath.  Think of the oxygen healing from within.  When you exhale, release all the negative feelings into oblivion.  YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW!  My love and blessings to you all.

Please also remember there are many kinds of pain – physical and mental.  Never “judge” that you understand another persons pain until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.  The Cherokee nation suggest that, and I affirm, until I had suffered the same problem as my mama, I thought I knew what she was going through.  I really didn’t understand the depth of her pain.  So be patient with people and pray for them.  Be kind.

Say a prayer for those in need – for there are many……Sad photo

Homeless and "stuff"dumpster diver

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Here is an idea!

January 17, 2013

In a couple of months I visualize myself in my kayak and sitting amongst all the stars the reflection from the sun on the water create. Beautiful isn’t it?
shining water
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Here is an idea!

During this time I am physically limited, I would like you not only to count your blessings, but also put some thanks to them while you are actively doing them! It will be kind of an experiment in recognizing blessings and being grateful for each and every one.

I will enjoy thinking of you (hopefully) pain free, doing these daily tasks.

The following list is what I call a small portion of “temporary difficult or nearly impossible tasks” list:

1. Bend down to tie your shoes, pick up a piece of paper or something you’ve dropped on the floor, or set the dog dish down – just do something that makes you bend…then to yourself, say “thank you for being able to bend without pain!”
2. Lift up something to put somewhere else – a basket of clothing, a sack of groceries, a child-especially a child! You might as well snuggle and love them when they are in your arms…then say, “thank you for” (you get it☺).
3. Sit at your computer and write, pay bills, email, whatever you like. Be thankful it doesn’t hurt and you can come and go quickly and without pillows and back rests and pain…
4. Lie down on your bed and stretch in every direction. Pull your feet towards you. Stretch your arms and your legs out and breathe. Stretching is such a pleasure if you remember to do it as such-and it is good for you! Thank God you can stretch.
5. Go for a walk. Go for a little run (I believe running is very tough on the knees, so take it easy). Skip. Jump. Stretch your arms up for the freedom and the joy of being able to do these things at all! Thank God, and if you don’t believe in God – then thank your lucky stars. It’s bigger than us little humans-that’s for sure. Personally, I have always believed in a Creator – however you see God – thank God.

Lastly in this tiny list, just get on your knees and drop your head and say prayers for whatever you like. Include yourself…for years I forgot to pray for me too! That is important. You are important.

Fortunately, I CAN drop to my knees. I just turn to my side, kind of roll off the bed with bent knees, use the bed to steady myself and guess what? It is accomplished. To get up I just use the bed and don’t have to bend my back. Yeah!

CREATE a beautiful day for you and your family and circle of friends. I will be thinking of you doing all these things. AND DON’T FORGET to laugh. Laughing is healing.

I am trying now, while I have time, to write both my blogs and work on my next little book. Don’t remember if I have mentioned that or not. I am not really got at advertising. I self-published a book entitled “A Fine Read for the Thinking Woman” (it is for men too really) – and you can purchase it at either or on kindle books. Just look up the title or my name: Marsha J. O’Brien. I hope you like it I have several more I am working on now.

Also, if you would like to check out my website, I post many different articles as I specalized in that for years – maybe that’s why my husband of almost twenty-five years calls me “The Human Happy Face” :).