When I hug someone I don’t do it for any other reason than I care (of course not including my husband…I love him and am passionately in love with him).
Years ago I taught a class “hug therapy”. It began because I often walked up to strangers, women in particular, and ask if I could hug them. I chose people I thought could use a pick me up, a little up close and in personal act of warmth and caring. Often an elderly person, or a person who looked kind of sad or let down.
I was always received with welcome smiles and arms open. We would share a big hug and both of us left smiling and feeling as if we had exchanged something words could not express. We both felt better.
At the time I taught high intensity aerobics and also a senior class. When I began requiring a hug at the end of the session, I only had one person balk. She said she wasn’t a person who liked to be touched. Everyone else was totally up to share this sign of affection.
Personally when I hug someone I am sharing a bit of my health and joy with that person. Hugs can be very healing and sometimes, invaluable!
A hug should only be shared with permission. That is called respect. So at the end of each class students would line up and we each looked in each others eyes, smiled, and hugged. It was wonderful….
Two things that came of this, were such a wonderful surprise to me.
The lady who chose not to hug watched for weeks as everyone else shared this simple act of closeness, with no expectations. One day after class she walked towards me and said,”Okay, I will try it.” She stood still as I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big mindful hug. (That is just a strong-gentle hug that lasts ten seconds or so, then a release.) She stood back and smiled. From that point forward she always waited for a parting hug. It was lovely because she soon “relaxed” into it, and hugged me back. She told me, “I don’t know what it is, but when we hug I feel like a connection of two living souls. I feel loved and empowered.” I often think of that and hope she is still hugging and being hugged.
The other wonderful words bestowed upon me were these: “I drive twenty-five miles to take this class, and though I like the class a lot – I really come for the hugs. This is the only time I get hugged all week, and I love it. It keeps me looking forward to the day…just for that hug.” This thought still makes me teary-eyed.
When my daughter or girlfriends get together, we often hug tightly and jump up and down for joy!
Such a simple act that can mean so much to another human being. I know “times” are different, and there are so many things we can feel afraid to say or do, but if you can hug someone today, do it!
Just remember to be respectful and ask, “Do you mind if we have a hug?”
Addendum: I know several Chinese people who say is is not their custom to hug strangers or anyone except husband/wife and family. We spoke in depth and I do understand the concept and protocol of this custom… I respect their wishes as such….I didn’t ask, but perhaps that is why many bow upon meeting (or is that a Japanese custom?) I am not certain. I believe not judging, but respecting “others” customs is important in this melting pot of the world.
Have a beautiful day.
Relax, it's just Life! 