Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

Subtle Overthrow in Progress?

August 15, 2017

“There came an alien race to earth, intend on conquering all, and the name of the alien race was is alcohol.”

“Aliens are slowly taking over the entire planet by disguising themselves as alcohol.”

“Soon we will all  be so addicted and they will  throw us aside, and turn into the real aliens! They will have the earth to themselves, and without a fight!”

“There may be temporary upheavals but soon all will succumb to the subtle power of many of  them who are still in disguise.”

“The things that happen during a bout with aliens assist them in their ascent – things they will attest to others in the universe —they murdered and raped and cheated, and they knew the risks.  Still they dabbled.”

“They did it to themselves in the final analysis.  They fell to their knees and the gods of the toilet by choice.  No one was forced, only prodded.”

“Still a few lived. They  were unable to survive the stench and view of the aliens true forms.  They died of fright in the black of the night.”

“So have another drink, my friend.  It can’t hurt…………………….

………………………………………or can it?”

 

hollywood (or as I prefer to call it hollyweird)

July 30, 2017

This is just a short post  expressing MY point of view about that group who like to be known as “stars”. (NOT ALL, mind you, but a majority).

I am sick to death of all these “do-gooders” who say “This is good – this is bad”. They are human beings like the rest of us, except they make way too much money for what they do. Similar to the wage of athletes!

Here are a few of the things they present to us, after voicing big opinions and donating time (NOT MONEY), to their special causes and things that are really none of their damn business.
One thing they don’t know about is the REAL WORLD of human beings.

Used to love to dance to madonna when I taught fitness, but she has been such a loose canyon, a piece of trash and pervert for so many years I can’t even stand her not one tiny bit. Then standing up for women and saying the things she said – not my representative. Nor is the other piece of garbage (won’t mention her name) – who brought up women’s personal monthly time, in tasteless defense of what…trash talk?)

Now hollyweird in general. If you have been reading my blog you know when I have no respect for someone or something or place – I don’t capitalize. To me that reflects my disrespect in my small way.

I am up to my limit on hearing the name “Jesus” or “Jesus Christ” as a swear word. Even if I weren’t a Christian (of my own beliefs,) I would have respect for a man the caliber of Jesus in His historical record – as one of the most amazing human beings that has ever lived…

I understand when people say goddammit…don’t like it, but many believe there is more than one god. To offend me you would have to use the Great Spirit’s proper name, which is Jehovah.

But STOP with the using Jesus name as a swear word! How would it be if I said barrack Obama as a swear word, or someone you admired or loved. Remember my capitalization rule.

Next is the blatant disregard for the fact cigarettes kill people. Hollyweird is making it look cool again. NOT cool. Have you ever been with anyone dying of cancer or unable to breathe?

High on the list is violence and it’s association with sex and love. It makes me literally want to puke when I see some of the trash that is presented to the public. And the ratings are a big fat joke.

I went to rent movies for the weekend for a change and spent a while looking. I didn’t rent anything. I can tell you whats wrong with the people who watch lots of movies…hollyweird is brain-washing us!

EVERYTHING HAS BECOME COMMONPLACE! There is NOTHING special any more. You meet someone and within ten minutes he has backed you up against a wall and is doing you…not even a first date.

The ever so small percentage of honestly “unusual” people is brought to the forefront and PUSHED on us. IT is OKAY to ignore the physiology of the human body. We (even in schools now) are being trained to be unisex…..Soon everyone will work for the man and then watch a movie to be told what to think and what to do (Television is definitely included.) HBO, Netflix, etc….nothing is sacred anymore. And for the MAJORITY of us who are boring and normal, we have to listen to whining and moaning pressed upon us, to fulfill hollyweird’s agendas.

Because of multiple injuries to my husband (a few years ago) and myself-starting six years ago, we have done lots of sitting and watching! He really enjoys television and is one human being who sees the “trend” of mind-bending hollyweird is procuring on the population by unscrupulous and indirect means, through the media. However being a man of relentless strength of character, he sees right through it instead of changing….speaking of which I have a bone to pick with the media.

Millions of people live happily and safely every day, but instead of reporting as I believe it used to be, the things that are picked with a fine tooth comb are the nastiest of events that are either gory or insidious. They are events that work at ripping the fiber of us into shreds, and separating us.

Can’t bitch any more! It is too beautiful a day and I will not waste another moment on trash.
I just PRAY for the children and grandchildren – and for all of us who still live with God’s law guiding us. W have hope for the future. You do not have to be perfect to follow “the good”. I surely have made more mistakes in life than most, but still try to more onward and upward.

The legion of evil is many, but behind and in front, and within each of us, we quietly hold the truth and know the strength we will have in union when the time comes……….

 

 

Don’t forget to praise any attempt from someone to do or say “good.”

May 26, 2017

These are a few of my favorite things anyone has said to me in my entire life. I have tried to base my actions and my days on these things. I choose now to forget the “other” things people have said – I might cry!

Someone once told me I have the faint cracklings of a healer. I loved that. I would love to heal everything – people, scenarios, war and discontent, communication between people. I cannot of course – but I can keep trying.

My daughter told me once that I channel what I believe…I channel God. Now I know I have not always, for sure, been a true reflection, but it surely inspired me….and I keep trying. Never give up and never give in!

I was told that my presence, at that particular time, to that particular person, was that of an angel. I have been told that several times, and I would love that to aspire to that purity and character…Wasn’t that lovely? Of course I know I am not – but I fly in my dreams – and I know I could in this life, if I could just remember how!

My eldest son told me he was sorry for all the times he had been mean to me. I was shocked. I never thought a thing of it because we all have our “growth” spurts, and love is unconditional and forever in my mind. He said he guessed he was mean because all through his life I had always been there – in the good times, and in the very bad times. It touched my heart, though love never runs away because of fear or distress- or because of mean words.

More than once people have said, “I like your smile. It made me smile.” Cool. Less wrinkles to smile, more fun. But truthfully, I think I was born with a special “happy” gift – a positive outlook in the most stressful times. It wasn’t easy sometimes, but I have always endeavored to smile. Honestly……it is habit now, and why not! Better to enter any scenario with a smile than a scowl. What we do becomes habit. (That is one of the very important things I teach in stress management.). Get into the habit of working to be happy – even if it starts out poorly, you have the challenge to turn it around.

When I broke my back, was treated poorly and dismissed, and my back literally burst – I might have been broken in Spirit forever. I attribute my faith, as the biggest factor, and my “habit of working to be happy” somewhere just below that. We always have a choice.

While in rehab I had a physician saying the nicest thing to me. He said, “I wish I could bottle up what it is you have and sell it!” WOW. Not to be sold, I guess. Just CHOOSE to get into the HABIT of thinking in positive terms. Sounds too simple. It is. Also, I can never diminish the power of prayer. For those who have never REALLY believed it works – be dogmatic about prayer, and then KNOW it will work for the best, in one way or another. (Not always your choice, but always the best.

I have had a full life thus far, though most of it is behind me, I look forward to seeing what is next. I want me to be my best ever. I have learned from a thousand mistakes and poor choices, and from those incidents which were not even my fault!

I prayed for guidance last night and woke up to feeling inspired write. IF I am able, I allow myself an hour to pray, read and write upon waking. It is a delicious time! There has to be benefits to getting older…I love to write and hope the things I write are of some pleasure and USE to you! Life experiences are great teachers.
There isn’t ANYTHING you cannot rise above! Whatever happens – you have 100% choice in response. Onward and upward. Out of sight and unknown personally – I TRULY send you love and hope.

I could tell you so many terrible things I remember in my lifetime, but the thing about being human is that if we focus on the GOOD – look upward and move onward – and LEARN, we will blossom like a flower. I’d rather be a flower than a prickly cactus. Smiling is so much easier.

Do something for someone today (something little or big) and don’t tell a soul! It will be tempting to talk about it, but it is so much more exhilarating to have the deed between you and whomever you believe as a creator. The Creator watches.

If you don’t believe in a higher power, then silently think about the deed and be proud of your choice, amidst all the tension and delusion that is happening around the world. It will bring a smile to your face sometime-probably more than once. It’s good to share love.

And if you think of the horrible days and comments made to you, then STOP IT. That was then.
This is now. On your mark….get set….go! And as my daddy used to say, GOOD on you! 🙂

Today

February 23, 2017

I woke up exceptionally early this morning. I lay in bed thinking. I thought about prayers. I thought about God. I thought about my life, and how much of it I’ve missed!

Really. I feel like it has slipped through my fingers like a palm full of oil when you open your fingers….drip, drip, drip away. My back ached (it always does, but that is the way it is) – when I fell, landing on my back, I knew I was in trouble. I just didn’t know how much.

My Rottie came over and sat next to me and I instinctively reached up and felt the lush soft fur just below her neck.

I looked at the blue sky, dotted with those clouds that form into something when you watch them pass. I had just been thanking God for everything in my life being calm and peaceful, and close to perfect. Then wouldn’t you know it, life took me on a turn I shall not forget, though after four years of challenges (and I mean hell sometimes), I sit here typing another piece of my heart.

“Everything changes”, mama used to say. “Everything except God and my love for you.”
I knew she meant it.

We can criticize others. Blame circumstances on conditions, and punish ourselves for making so many mistakes along the way. But isn’t there enough of that going on?

Oh God, I want to be of value, of service to you. We are all human as you are well aware, and
for US, I ask you remain faithful in your patience and grace. I still can’t figure out why I have been given so many opportunities to “rise above my circumstances, and survive!”

We are small little human beings in a maze of life. The majority of us, I still believe, still having love, potential, and goodness.

Guide our thoughts and deeds. Perhaps you give us a jolt a time or two to recognize how little time we have and really how very much power we have in just a word or deed.

My mouth has been filthy at times in my life (not as bad as Ashley Judd – her mama must be proud) – and sometimes my actions less than acceptable. I know that. I also know because I believe in you and your Son Jesus Christ, I am forgiven! I am loved. Jesus took the brunt of my deeds and paid the price. I never take that for granted.

Please keep vigilant over your children and give us a push in the right direction when we are overcome by the trash with the loudest voices. We do not have to succumb.

My husband readies himself to leave and devote his time and health and energy to keeping us “floating” above debt and despair. God bless ALL who must leave their families to provide for them.

Please guide us, your creations, to kind words and at least one thoughtful and unexpected act of love today. We don’t need to tell anyone….just do something. THANK YOU. I stand on my small bandwagon to declare my love for you, and the POWER and ENDLESS energy to heal and keeping going……if only we ask and believe.

What science says about the brains of Democrats and Republicans

January 31, 2017

Did a bit of research and am posting some of what I found.  I thought it quite interesting.———-

Here’s What Science Says About the Brains of Democrats and Republicans

Author: Dylan Goldstein

“Researchers investigated the emotional differences between the two groups and found that when faced with risky decision-making, the amygdalae of Republicans fire at a greater rate than those of Democrats. This suggests that Republicans might be relatively more influenced by emotions in their decision-making process. What’s more, a study found that conservatives were aroused to a greater extent than liberals when shown disturbing images, such as those depicting infested wounds. Simply put, it appears that the conservative brain is more sensitive to stimuli that carry emotional weight.

Research shows that individuals who are more engaged in politics exhibit greater firing in the amygdala and ventral striatum while viewing statements consistent with their partisan ties. The amygdala is linked to emotional importance, while the ventral striatum is linked to reward value. Thus, political fanatics seem to find heightened intrinsic satisfaction to ideologies with which they agree.

These findings suggest that as we trudge deeper into the political world, we become more and more tied to our respective political parties. Scientists believe this may build a feedback loop that fuels polarization in the political world, motivating us to selectively seek out information that confirms our pre-existing beliefs. Even if we attempt to break from this self-perpetuating cycle, research also suggests underlying neural mechanisms that impede our capacity to empathize with members of the political out-group. It’s as if we are programmed in a way that is less than helpful for seeing alternative points of view.

Back in 1796, George Washington offered the nation some unheeded words of advice: beware of political parties.

Moral Politics: How Liberals and Conservatives Think is a 1996 book by cognitive linguist George Lakoff. It argues that conservatives and liberals hold two different conceptual models of morality. Conservatives have a Strict father model in which people are made good through self-discipline and hard work, everyone is taken care of by taking care of themselves. Liberals have a nurturant parent model in which everyone is taken care of by helping each other.

Conservatives have more structured and persistent cognitive styles,” said Carola Salvi, lead author of the study and a postdoctoral fellow in cognitive psychology at Northwestern and RIC.

Liberals were more likely than conservatives to achieve solutions with a sudden insight or “Aha!” In contrast, both groups achieved roughly an equal number of solutions through gradual, analytical processing.”

Picking up the pieces

September 25, 2016

 

I opened the refrigerator and saw the crystal bowl, as if in slow motion, drop in waves and then hit the floor with a mighty sound of glass splintering and grapes breaking off into all directions.

People use God’s name is so many situations. Thank God it’s cooled down. Thank God no one was hurt. Thank God the storm was less than expected. I often wonder if the name of God is even recognized any more, and if God has become just a phrase to express relief. I wonder if people really mean THANK GOD.

Thank God no splinters flew into the eyes of my puppy, standing off a far, looking as if he had done something wrong. I wondered if he would run off to the “naughty room”, his dog house, as he does when he carries something in his mouth that doesn’t belong there.

No, thank God he stood still and just watched, along with my good old girl, Dakota. Black as the night, wide eyed as children, they just waited for some reaction from me. To their surprise, I laughed. Why not.

My husband says to open any door or cupboard anywhere in the house is like looking for a bomb to explode. This time he was right. No one got cut. The bowl was just a material object, and the only other loss was a bunch of grapes.

I cleaned everything up. Looked at the precarious position of an opened twelve pack of Ginger Ale, I and decided to leave them where they were on the third shelf. Why not live dangerously….

It was so much easier to laugh and smile than to let the current situation overcome my senses and my life. I knew this too would pass.

Now think of politics. Let it go. It is not going to be life-changing to throw away all the moments and days we spend worrying. Let it go, and as it’s been said many times before….

Let it go and let God! The only control we really have is our response to life. I tried being miserable and it sucked. So I gave it up.

Dream

September 19, 2016

I recently saw a movie entitled “Equals” – my husband slept through most of it, though it rang several familiar bells in my head.  It was okay, but just gently interesting and and basically a love story.  It reminded me of a book I had read years and years ago – “1984 (better remembered as “Big Brother).

I actually followed up on that thought and found the director or producer of this filmed had pretty much followed the books theme.  As many current movies do, an older book or movie is picked clean and presented to the multitudes as a “new and spectacular” themed movie.

The Bible says:  “There is nothing new under the sun….” What it means is that anything we experience now has already been experienced and to believe that you have a fresh new idea, way of thinking, activity or anything than you are mistaken. Everything that can be thought of already has – only much of it is lost in history. It is not referring to reincarnation – however, that is another discussion altogether.

So I post today something I dreamed sometime in 2013.  I was recovering from two major spinal surgeries, so my dreams and my writing exploded.  I couldn’t do much else at that point.  But most of the things I wrote were just filed in a “writing” folder – with the intention of completing them at some point.

My mind was imploding we thoughts and feelings, and in that situation, if I had not written them down I might have blown at any moment!  As I shuffled through the file this morning I found this dream that I  experienced.

I say “experienced” because if you have read any of my prior dreams posted you would know my dreams are my “other life”.  A life I remember, and actually often can close my eyes and begin again at the same place!

So here it is :

DEVIL JUICE

The devils come out to play at night,

You must usher them gone in the light.

Inescapable, something written in the stars,

Not from Neptune – or Jupiter, – or mars.

Thwart their moves and push their plots away.

In Jesus name you have control

Today and every day.

You know who the devils are.

 

It never occurred to me that I would one day push a little girl off a ragged cliff and send her tumbling down into a rapidly flowing river. I had to do it. She was going invaded and consumed by satan.

It all began after the irreversible vaporization of much of the common population. No one knew if they were next. The thought police had begun the task years before, but the commons were transfixed with self and possessions. They hadn’t a clue they were already doomed. It began in mid century of the twenty third century. The Watchers knew as they listened past the inconsequential affair the commons seemed to have with the Leaders. Some thought it was impossible not to be caught up in the faces and folly they professed to the Commons. Watchers knew differently.

Dwellings still had the appearance of when they were all free, but we knew. We knew we were being scouted and appraised every moment of the day. We knew we could be plucked from our lives as easily as one plucked a petal off of a flower – in the day – when flowers were fragrant and followed the natural way to death and rebirth.

My days had been filled with Addison. Thoughts of rolling over and over with him in the sand, hot on our bare bodies, took over any sense that remained in my intellect.

If I wasn’t in the midst of remembering torrent love making, I was planning on our next encounter with thought, and thinking of our last.

When the three women moved into the stack below us, a chill ran across my back.

It wasn’t their appearances or demeanor, but something from within my gut told me these women were more than trouble; they were possessed.

Demons found it easy to disguise and enter a pure soul. There were still many hiding. People had been deceived for so long, the Quiet People found it necessary to begin to hide in more unusual ways. All a demon- plagued humans needed to do was offer a drink of devil juice, and gently nestle into the pure spirit from within each person. Once the spirit was diminished it was easy to guide these persons into a corrupt morality and vision. Once activated in a person, it was then his or her thought could find a no way to recover from the loss. Of course evil was still in control of most of the people of the planet and even those untouched were forced to go into hiding – at least their true knowledge.

It took re-education to train the untouchable ones. Thought police were everywhere and also were easily disguised. Untouchable ones were forced to stay in the hollows most hours of the day. The longer they remained in the Light from the Light, the stronger they became and the more resistant to tamper and experiment with “the juice”

There were ways to connect, but always with caution. Addison and I had known each other before the day of vaporization. We had a small circle of friends who were able to manifest the hollow mode and enter the hollows until they were certain those new were cleared.

No one Quiet people drank any form of devil juice. Thought police were aware of this and so it was urgent that they maintain neutral and hollow positions now, for most of the time. Night was of specific danger as the pathway to destruction widened and anyone who wanted to drink was able to get it for free. Laws regarding age limits, and any limits on the juice that had been active for years, were disregarded as soon as the earth turned to the point of darkness.

For that time it was best for all untouchable ones to lock themselves in their stack and simply withdraw until dawn. It was as easy as that, and as difficult. The temptation was always there as the noise of the night was not monitored or curbed in any way. The only way to close out the outer world was to play loud music – which of course -all untouchable ones did.

Addison and I did not live together. He had been discovered dead five years earlier, however, the death was planned and though I was not aware of it, he actually survived in the hollows without contacting me until a few months ago.

I opened my eyes sitting up.

 

 

 

Invisible Injuries

September 15, 2016

We all have them.  Whether they be mental or physical, they all come with the territory of being human.

No visual example of adversity. No example of individual interior adversity – mentally or physically!

The difficult part is NO ONE on planet earth can fully understand what YOU personally may be tackling as far as these unseen or unknown challenges.  No one will ever know one hundred percent.

This is why in order to succeed in life, we must attend to our own “healing” of mind-body-and spirit, and we must forgive those who don’t GET where we are coming from.

It may be the depths of hell to us, but not even within the view of others understanding.

The reason I lay all of this on US is because I am going through those invisible injuries.

I have had a pile of them all my life (off and on) – WE ALL DO.  They are all different and all in different degrees of the need to heal.

Truth be told (as politicians often say – if they only would!)  NO ONE but YOU can do the healing.  I will add in (because these are MY thoughts, and this is my place to offer up my thoughts), that if you have a belief system beyond yourself, life will be leaps and bounds easier to handle and the mountains less tenuous to climb.

I am fortunate because I have faith that cannot be shaken no matter how difficult my life become.  Honestly  life does not get easier as you age, it gets harder.

BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN you cannot have laughter, and joy, and love, and reapall the rewards we humans still have available.

The key is how you CHOOSE to respond to your own problems, and the tenderness with which you CHOOSE to have understanding and forgiveness of others.  Personally, I can NEVER hold a grudge.  Being unforgiving and judgemental festers inside you like an infected sore.  When you forgive (even if you don’t mean it at first), you begin to heal from within!  REALLY.  You release ugly and negative thoughts, and are able to use your own healing powers for yourself!

Another great way to handle stress of invisible problems is to breathe.  Get plenty of oxygen and your body will “think” better and “feel” better.  It is THE WAY of your body. Think about it.  Slow or stop breathing and what happens?  Less oxygen, less optimal thinking and healing, and ultimately death!  So is it important?  What do you think?

Lastly, I guarantee I have at least thirty to forty things going on within me physically and mentally that no one can ever understanding.  But what I realize is it is UP TO ME to handle it all.  I tried being miserable.  It sucked.  So I gave it up!

Besides I use a trick.  I don’t know when it began, perhaps in the womb, but when an unexpected scenario confronts me, I ALWAYS try to find the humor in it – and laugh!  I know you can’t laugh at everything, but it doesn’t hurt to try.  Humor can really save your day, and your life!

You can rise above WHATEVER it is that is aching to pull you down.  Try not to exclusively dwell on the problems.  Divert your own attention by accomplishing tasks that lay before you.  When you feel like a pity party, TAKE A BREATH – think of it like ammo and a secret weapon.  It is.  If you think this is all pie in the sky and just words –

YOU WOULD BE WRONG!  I would not waste my precious moments, and each moment is precious to me, expounding on words with no meaning.  Thoughts with no depth.

So please think about it.  Read this again. I am serious. You won’t waste the minute it takes, and this time think about applying it to your life!  You must get into the habit of this way of thinking.  We are creatures of habit.  Please read it again and this time think about it with YOU IN MIND.

REPETITION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL LEARNING. Repetition is the mother of all learning. Repetition is the mother of all learning. Repetition is the mother of all learning.  Now close your eyes and say it.

God bless you, and I so very much mean it!  Flowers for you courtesy Park City, Utah  I have no idea what kind they are but it looked like they were placed gently on top of these bushes, and they were beautiful!Park City FlowersJPG.jpg

 

Here is the Confession

September 6, 2016

Here is the confession. Since my accident and incidents therein,

Too often I fall into deep depression.

 

I know in cyberspace there are fellow humans of like mind,

sometimes we search for answers, but answers do not find.

 

There is nothing shameful about having depression you see,

It happens in this lifetime, next door and across the sea,

It happens to us all -to you, and even me.

 

We are human. We feel love, terror, and pain, trauma.

Depression can hit us all – depression is not drama!

 

I awoke this morning covered with sorrow like dense fog.

Unable to find the departure, chained like a wild dog.

 

“What is the purpose of life?” I thought. My life is changed forever, and not for better.

I had a pity party – a pitiful one – no one came.

 

It was only I, raging like I was waging a war against myself.

Then praying, while rather insane, I placed my mind upon a shelf.

 

At last I thought, I knew what to do. Divert my own attention to something else……and maybe you should too.

 

So I left the room I was working in, took a breath or two and dropped to my knees.

“Give me help dear Lord, I prayed, let my heart feel at peace, if you please.”

 

Here I lay in bed, with laptop resting on my legs.

Writing simple poetry, trying to turn a phrase.

 

If I dwell on my sorrow, and cry and whimper, I will to hell cross the line,

Then I won’t smile or have joy in this moment of time.

 

All we have is this moment to live,

I must turn my thoughts not to get, but to love and to give.

 

I lay here and realize I still can write.

I can see in the daytime, and find rest at night.

 

Within there is a flicker of my light that should shine for many reasons I know.

I will find a few to jostle my memory, and wrestle depression with strength just to show….

 

I can DO whatever I think I can! My sorrows are few compared to many a man.

I do not know how much I time I have left to look at my life – nor days to enjoy.

 

I want to be an example of faith and of love,

I will keep praying for power from that of above.

 

I AM better already, can you read and see? Like I would with a child who needs help,

I diverted my own attention, and the task set me free.

 

Change your thoughts, change your emotions.

Use your wits to climb from the pits.

 

You may think this a silly poem, and some might think it not a poem at all.

But by taking the time to write it I kept myself from a major fall!

 

Do not stumble, do not muddle your thoughts to far worse than it is!

Now what was the stress management technique I used?

Ah, yes,….this is a quiz!

 

Simple and easy what to do – divert your attention – and God will bless you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a post I have republished before….HUMOR. My girlfriend’s complaints about aging.

August 26, 2016

Why is the only hair on my body that hasn’t turned gray the long black hair growing from my nose?

Why didn’t anyone ever tell me that not only would everything “drop” as I aged, but my feet would also get bigger?

Why was I only told my bones would get weaker as I aged, and not that I would grow bony protrusions and knobby outgrowths everywhere on my body?

Why didn’t anybody tell me I would not only gain more wisdom than ever in my lifetime, but no body would listen to me?

How did I somehow miss that men not only loose their hair and get a receding hairline – but women often do as well?

I thought only Pinocchio’s nose grew bigger.

Why is it when you successfully age with good health no one will honor that with reasonable life insurance…every year I stay healthy my insurance rates go up!

You know the joy of having less hair to shave on your legs when you age is diminished by the fact all that hair grows on your face.

“Smile wrinkles” show you are happy. That’s crap. Just another group of wrinkles on your face.

I can eat the same food I always did, exercise the same, and still, when I look into the mirror I can see the fat accumulating on my stomach, hips and thighs. If I try to loose weight more wrinkles appear – gain it – my boobs hang down even further.

Shirley Temple can have dimples.   I am sick of the dimples all over my body. And no matter what anybody tries to sell you – they will never go away once you have them!

Okay stop eating candy and rub cream all over your legs. The dimples will still increase and you won’t get to eat your sugar quota or have the money to buy it!

Being a grandma is great. Being the built in baby sitter isn’t.

I was in the yard picking up dog poop (with a shovel of course), and also getting rid of mushrooms that grow wild and can be poisonous to dogs. . “Ah ah”, I thought, “two of those huge mushrooms right in front of me.” I picked them up, and to my dismay, it was two firm pieces of dog poop! One thing about not using your glasses when you get older is you don’t see as well without them.

The next time I went out, it was with glasses on. I love autumn – all the colors, and the crunch of leaves beneath my feet. What I don’t love is picking up dog poop with my hand for the second time, thinking it was acorns! Guess it’s time to get new glasses.

I went to the doctor a few days ago. I knew I would be hooked up to acupuncture needles and laying flat on my tummy for 30 minutes, so I thought since I was loaded with nasty gas, I would step into the hall and relieve myself quickly before being called in. I looked to the right and up the stairs and released a loud and long fart. I had forgotten to look to the left – there was a woman a couple of feet away on her cell phone. I tried to pretend it didn’t happen and slipped back into the office quickly.

I remember when I was married to an ass, one time we were at our son’s pack meeting for cub scouts, sitting in the very back of a crowed room. He thought he would be funny and let a loud and enormous fart and turned to me and called my name loudly – and indignantly…. as if I’d done it. Everyone looked at me. Some giggled and others looked disgusted. He paid for that one later.

Why is it my nose is running all the time now, and with no place to go. The world gets more enclosed as you get older. Most people walk by and go “Ugh, an old person.” They try to get away quick as if they will catch being old. Well here is the news people, if you don’t get old you are dead!

I saw a commercial with two old people flirting, dancing and kissing. Even I was appalled. Take it to a motel, and make it one with no mirrors on the closet doors – follow the new adage – “what happens in the motel, stays in the motel.”

Lastly in my list of complaints about aging…I think the funniest of all. My girlfriend said she didn’t have her glasses on and she brushed her teeth with hemorrhoid cream. She said it made her gag and almost throw up. That’s not the funniest thing about this – she did it twice.! WEAR YOUR GLASSES GIRLFRIEND!