Posts Tagged ‘woman’

Another Dream

June 10, 2017

Write while its fresh in your mind, write what you dream if you plan to do so. Easy for me as my dreams remain with me for days, weeks, and sometimes years. Often the same characters and the same location. Different scenarios though – although I have wakened and when I again slept gone back to complete or continue a dream.

They are always in color and always memorable in one way or another – very infrequently are they “bad” – though a few nights ago I had one that was, and it was sketchy in my mind the next day.

I share my dreams with my husband, but certain ones like I can only see in my mind…and it would seem confusing if I tried to explain them. My father dreamed every night in his life, as I do. I never sleep without dreaming. My mama never dreamed, nor does my husband…or they don’t remember them.

Night before last my dream was one of those dreams so broken I could not explain it. Last night was a bad dream, but also it ended in a message, I believe.. Not for me, but perhaps someone.
I remember my poor husband (who works so hard, and simply needs a good night sleep – waking me up because I was talking and yelling. He said, “Honey, its only a dream. Wake up.”
He’s done that several times in the last months – had to wake me and assure me. He says I now talk a lot in my dreams.

Confusing to him, but not to me. I needed to write this one down. The initial part of the dream was taken back to times in memory that were difficult and challenging. I dealt with an evil person who deceived me wholly. He was a con artist, and I bought what he was selling….of course you know where this took me! It took me down a path I did not want to be, and part of my life that time was in reality a nightmare.

I won’t go into depth but my education was increased triple fold, and my heart, though nearly broken at times, mended and I grew stronger because of the time. It took a five year bite out of my life, and affected myself and in a part larger group of people than I knew (I am just being honest) – I inadvertently hurt my children and led them down a path of some confusion too. What we sow we reap. A statement much more important than is given credit.

So often my dreams take me to “this part of my life”, because the truth of is, all the good you do in life does not erase or totally mend the pain of errors in major choices. We can only grow and move onward and upward. It did not make me hard against life, I promised God, but it made me resilient, tough, and stronger.

Back to the dream. There was an event that was a major celebration of some sort. It seemed as if it were a gathering of new friends and old friends. I could feel the excitement of camaraderie, and a spirt of anticipation. I think there was music in the distance, but it was unclear what kind.

I saw people drinking too much and bending one another’s ears with embellishments of truth and success. There were smaller groups gathering in quieter discussions. The celebration was outside.

I had come with the con artist, and could not find that evil man who I had been duped by again. He had quietly disappeared. Since the friends were gathered outside, there were small roadways nearby and many cars parked closely. The the moon was in quarters and the stars seemed to explode in color.

Without warning something happened, and this wasn’t clear, but people began screaming and there were injuries and fatalities. ( I am sure this particular incident correlated with what has actually been happening with the recent attacks and innocents dying. We are all affected by that which we see and hear, some more than others.)

I began to yell because I saw someone I cared for unable to recover from the injuries, and I saw this evil man had returned and was arm and arm with someone else! He sneered and looked at me without emotion. At that point I realized the alcohol had taken him and destroyed what little he had initially. He had fooled everyone. I should have known…..but I was once again, in denial. Denial of the truth had become deadly. I had been blinded by sweet words and beautiful lies.

I am not sure what I said or screamed, but at that moment I came alive and saw that which I had been denying for my own justification of circumstances. Mike woke me and took me from the dream momentarily.

How closely this connected today and yesterday in reality…but this was a dream. My mind coming to conclusions and preeminent warnings.

I found myself being directed by a medical professional to wait and then be transported to a home in an older neighborhood that had been turned into a medical facility. There was a pad for the copter to land.

The facility was not for physical injuries, but for STDs that needed to be treated immediately for a woman (or man). Apparently he or she could face potentially life altering / or life-threatening ramifications.

(Let me be clear that I seemed to have been protected in my true reality. The evil person that I had fallen for “could” have passed along many different problems to me because of his unfaithful and bisexual behaviors. I only found this out towards the end of this disastrous time I spent in folly!)

The dream ended with me sitting on a couch in a small room in the home. I was awaiting treatment. There was a large area in the center that was outside, and actually individual rooms around it that made it kind of became a donut shaped facility.

In the dream, as I sat waiting my poor choices flashed in segments before me as I thought of the seeds of evil I had accepted. Without consciously knowing, I had chosen this path. I later realized I justified it because of the wildness and pleasure factors. The alcohol introduced to me during the time had made the whole mess easier to accept. I thought I would never choose that path again. The doctor walked in.

I awoke at 6:30. I thought the last thoughts in the dream were actually my thoughts in that true reality. I realized how fortunate I had been to escape “whole”, and actually to escape at all. By the grace of God I am alive.

I was exhausted and closed my eyes and slept until the dog awoke me at 9AM. The point of sharing this….not sure, but perhaps a reminder to be certain your choices are solid and that you are not justifying your reasoning. You WILL pay for your choices, even many years down the road.

Keep in mind STDs are REAL. Use good judgment because you can loose your life and happiness by subjecting yourself to the “chance” of getting an STD – or pregnant for that matter!
About 70% or more of human beings have herpes gotten from unprotected sex! If you aren’t in that percentage, look up “herpes”…not a joke. I KNOW you have heard of HIV/AIDs.

Holly weird and many of the magazines today seem to promote sex (like it needs any promotion!)…and alcohol. PLEASE be aware much of what you see and hear originate from the aim of making the almighty dollar. The “star” power may say they stand for something, yet they still make movies with rapes, violence, chain smoking and loose morals – like its normal.
They still promote gays and lesbians, bisexuals and transexuals like it is “the common fact” and not a mere .05% of the population!

KEEP YOUR OWN SENSIBILITIES and live a more fulfilled life. Follow no other human being than your own knowledge of what is right and wrong. No one who says “I love you” (and means it) will ask you to change your personal belief system or philosophy about life!  Pick the path you follow….Do not be star-struck and do not be brainwashed!  You CAN BE a shining star….just BE YOURSELF.  That is the best of you.  Stop questioning the fact you have doubts…we all do.  But you are the only one of you in the world!

By the way, all these “stars” and politicians who declare guns should have more restrictions…have armed body guards, live in gated communities, and have no fear of that which the peasants endure. I include myself in this group.

THAT IS IT for now! Live a great life. IT IS ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE…if not in each scenario, in each RESPONSE…absolutely!

Love you!

 

 

 

HOW TO RECEIVE LOVE

June 6, 2017

This sounds like a very strange statement. I am not writing about sexual love….for a woman that kind of love can happen at the snap of a finger. For a man, a bit tougher, but the trend has been “if he works it right…”

I am writing about the kind of love that makes it almost humanly impossible to live without. The kind of love that even someone who says, “I don’t need anybody.” will ultimately drive him or her, (if absolutely alone long enough) mad.

The inborn need to receive love is just a part of the living soul and human physiology. In other wards, we are born to need love to fill in one of the empty spaces in our hearts.

You may or may not agree with these statements, but in all my years of writing, I have never written anything but what I know to be truth. Yes, the “truth”, as I know it, might have something to do with what life has given and taken away from me. I understand this.

In my particular case, however, I have while in this tiny body lived through at least one instance of everything you can think of that can happen to a human being. We all have our “crosses to to beard, alluding to Jesus, as he was forced to carry his own cross to his crucifixion.

I hesitate now and realize there are several things I have not had to endure in this life. I am grateful for those nightmares manifesting in my life, and I shall not give them credence. I’ve learned this much. Do not give in to fear of anything, nor be certain the evil will happen to you.

Do not open the door for evil or negative in any manner, and you shall save yourself a life of fear and worry. Draw the positive to you by thought. “As we think, so shall we be….”

Those words mean everything! Thought dreams press us forward, thoughts motivate us and keep us from fear – if we endeavor to keep our thoughts of a higher nature.

In other wards remember that no matter what happens to us, we are always given – one hundred percent of the time – the choice to pick our response. A beautiful way to happiness is to choose the positive road. In EVERY scenario, at some point, you will be able to use what has happened, or is happening, to either learn and grow, or wither and loose the power we have been given…all of us has this power within.

Kind of got off on a side road, but my thoughts are play a part in the adventure of learning to receive love. It is out there and available to us. All of us!

It doesn’t matter who you are, how much you have or don’t have, how you match up to the media’s judgments (meaning internet, magazines, books, television or any avenue of transporting “opinions.” Those written words are also just a compilation of opinions.

Now down to the nitty gritty. Here are ten ways to receive love!

1. You must love you first! Drop all the preconceived notions you’ve heard about you! Dig deeply and find who you really think you are – and / or who you would like to be! It is all based on perception…your own. I can honestly say I have only meant a few “ugly people in my life. Those few people may have been handsome, brilliant, and talented initially. You KNOW my next statement is true: after getting to know that person, depending on their heart and actions, they will either still be as you first saw them, or perhaps even more handsome or lovelier. However if they are horrible people, ugly in nature, do evil things and are arrogant or filled with other negative things, they will become less handsome, less brilliant, and less “everything” as you get to know them. This is a true statement. You know it is. So dig deeply and even if you only find one thing you love about yourself, make it prominent – love it, invest in it, and love yourself. If you can’t love yourself no one else will be able to either!
2.  At first meeting (when appropriate) SMILE. Smile either by getting into the habit or just because you are now happy you love something about yourself…because loving yourself makes you innately feel worthy. So smile, smile, smile. Nothing opens the door to invite love as effectively as turning to meet someone and seeing them wearing a broad and honest smile. Maybe “just because.” I often find myself smiling for no reason in particular. It feels better. Perhaps love your smile! Others will for sure. (I don’t mean looking in a mirror. I believe satan created mirrors and scales! Think about it.) This will draw people towards you.

3. If meeting someone for the first time and a handshake is offered, give a good strong one. Nothing says confidence and personal strength as a sturdy handshake; man or woman. A judgment is made, believe me, by the quality of your handshake. Make it like you sincerely are glad to meet this person. This will draw this person into “your perception.”…a smile means happy, and it can also mean joy for life, a good secret, admiration for the person you share a handshake with, and much more. It is a valuable tool in beginning to receive love
4. Be concise and BRIEF in your statements in that introductory meeting. I write so I usually write a book as opposed to a post. I need to follow this rule myself. Therein, I will finish with number 5 and post and wait until I honestly have the time to finish this comfortably without putting extra pressure on myself knowing I have pressing things to do today. Unless you are brought into the conversation do not offer your life story!
5. Listen. Honestly and thoroughly listen to the person who is speaking. Do not think about what you will say when that person is finished. We all do this once in a while, and some people rarely think about what the other person is saying, and simply think about when they get “stage center” and review their own responses. Be yourself, and let your natural self flourish. Listen. Show interest in the other persons comments and thoughts….you might learn something valuable. Ask. Ask about the person and then listen! Use your memory to remember names (that is important), and the information they are sharing. Honestly, if you really aren’t interested in listening you will never get to know this person and your chances of receiving love are pretty low. Remember. They will appreciate the fact you really cared enough, upon first meeting….and meetings thereafter…to listen and remember. Those are enduring qualities. They nurture seeds of potentially flowering love.

It’s time to tear myself from today’s post and do the things I know I need to do. This is an example of how to love yourself. You will appreciate the fact YOU take care of business! That alone should make you smile. Don’t forget to smile. It is urgent in the quest for real and relationships, friendships, and love.

CREATE a beautiful day. I send my hopes for real blessings for you, and my love!

How to Start a Fine Day

May 26, 2017

It’s easy.  Just pray!

“Good morning sweet Lord. You let me be a living soul just another day! Thank you.”
“I will try to be loving, forgiving and kind. I will smile, which will open my heart.”
“I will endeavor not to be judgmental, yet keep the laws you require.
You give me all the tools I need to keep my body healthy, and
My heart seeking your higher ways.”

“Forgive me, my Lord, for lost days, weakness and poor choices.
For excuses I made to enable me to walk the tight rope
between heaven and hell…Still your forgive me, most simply, because I believe in your Son.”

“I am excited now to see how I can make you glad you love me today .
I want you to be at ease with with your choice to make me your child.
With your loving rules and guidelines fresh in my mind, I will take a breath now,
And leave the world yesterday behind.””

Though I cannot comprehend the vastness and forever or you,
I am made in your image, and I know, the Spirit will help me get through.
Two requests I ask from deep within, forgive me not knowing it all, and not fully being able to comprehend the complexity of you and your Son.”

“I do read your Book, and study the Word. Somethings are easy,
and others still go beyond the ability of me to fully grasp the truths of this Book.”
“I will not give up, I will not give in – I will continue to seek your charity
(another word for love) – I will drop to my knees in gratitude, and raise my arms above, in praise.”

“Humbly I ask for those I love to open their eyes
For those that have a heart for you to quit listening to “their” lies.
Your children abound, even those who are yet to discover the peace and the life you offer to all.”

“Please kindly nudge them, before the great fall.
Humbly I thank thee, humbly I arise.
With the ultimate sacrifice of your precious Son in my mind,
with tears in my eyes – I now stand tall.”

“With your Spirit to guide me, and your power all around me – My heart implodes with fullness.
The place you give us all, reserved just for you and your Son – is my true heart. I have already won! I will smile. I will love. I will bounce with the true joy of YOU!
I will pass it forward, that is just what I will do.”

“I love you sweet Lord. I think of you all the time throughout the day. I will hold my tongue, love hard, and be on my way.!

“Amen. (So be it).”

An URGENT PLEA

July 4, 2015

I never ask for money!  I may have put a “donate” tag somewhere, but it’s not important to my writing.    I AM asking for donations today and here are the reasons why.  I have a very close friend in Redding that knows this young woman.  She said she is a lovely woman who shares blessings with others.  She has an immediate need!annies journey

I copied this from the website: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/annie-s-journey#/

Please go to the site – read the story – and donate!  I know we are all stretched beyond limit, but look closely at these children and their sweet little mama.  She needs help and all the prayers she can get.  Take a few moments from your life to do something wonderful!  I may be disabled, but her prognosis is much more heart-breaking.

Even if you donate $5.00, every penny will help.  I promise you will feel better in your hearts knowing that you’ve done what you can.  I am donating and I hope you do too.  “As ye give, so shall ye receive”….

God bless you all, and God bless this little woman and her beautiful family.

A strange day!

March 16, 2015

I could have given up as my keyboard has been turning off and it is kind of distracting – HOWEVER, this has been such a strange day thus far, I need to share it.  There will be two posts today.

The first one was my dream last night:

I saw the large pool and it was so clear I could see how deep it was. No one was swimming in the pool, no one near except a man and a woman who stood near the side of the pool in the shallow area. They spoke softly. As I walked the far edge of the pool I could hear his voice, now gruff and much louder. I could also hear the shrill and obvious displeasure in her voice. Both were talking at the same time.

I walked to the concert area and the group of women who had been practicing for weeks were arguing with four members of another group. I understood after all the practice they dedicated, they wanted to present their interpretation of the play.

I also knew the members of the other group, far more experienced and professional, and they were simply trying to offer suggestions to refine and excite the performances. Everyone was chattering loudly and defensively at the same time.

No one understood the others motives, really, they were just trying to hold on to what was so important it wound up in an arguement.

As I left the hall one frail girl asked a man of questionable character, if he could score any drugs. I walked by them quietly.

I entered the door to the left and saw the group that had been in the concert hall. Don’t know how they had gotten there without passing me in the hallway. The experienced and really good group were discouraged. They were talking about how they had spent years on the road working hard and still were left with a pittance and no place to go at the moment.

Somehow I knew the person who usually occupied the opulent and airy room. The bedroom had been neat, but once I spoke to the owner, and asked him if they could stay the night, and they knew it was okay, they began to drop their bags and instruments and sit or relax, one by one on a bed or chair.

The once attractive woman, now worn and exhausted, began to sing softly. Her sweet voice sent chills through my body as I recognized the words, “how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me…”

The words faded into silence as she wearily closed her eyes and her constantly wringing hands and body relaxed into a deep sleep. She was oblivious to the world around her. I could see her as a beautiful young woman. She still was beautiful in an ethereal way.

I knew they needed money and I opened my bag to find lots of money. There were rolled bills, a stack of flat bills – topped with a hundred dollar bill. There were several rolls of money and a heavy bag of change. I peeked in it and there were only quarters and half dollars. I had no idea where the money came from but felt pressed to count it.

I looked around and everyone else was either resting on a bed (or sitting)  with a laptop near by, or one form or another of the almighty iphone. Each donned tiny earphones placed carefully at the lobe of their own ears. One man both looked and listened at two different electrical appliances at once, with the seriousness of someone trying to do the impossible “perhaps unboil an egg” I thought.

I remembered going to an enormous “event” earlier. The top of the building looked like the striped and vibrant design of an old time circus. Everyone had prepaid to enter.

I looked around and thought, “I am in the midst of so many things that mean absolutely nothing. Everyone works so hard and pay with the hours of their lives, and then they pay to enter this place and spend all of their money on things that mean NOTHING.”
It seemed preposterous to me.

I came back to the present moment  began to count the cash. The bound stacks of money were different. Some lighter in tones and some quite a bit darker. I thought it might be counterfeit. Then I thought, it’s all counterfeit anyway…bills made of paper that purchase things that mean nothing. I thought of my home. Modest, sturdy, a place to sleep and be tied to day after day. – I paid almost $700.00 in interest alone. Everything seems to be counterfeit. “You pay to live and it’s all meaningless,” I thought.

$5,500 thus far. I knew it all was placed before our eyes (technology, things and money) to snare us into the trap. The almighty we dedicated our lives to brought distance and arguing between peoples. It took without return, except what “appeared” to be a fleeting moment of worth.

I thought all the beauty and things of actual value given to us freely, and how we all seemed to push these things aside for the shiny gold coin. I thought of God and opened my eyes and realized I had been dreaming.

—————————————————–

The second post will be after I grab something to eat.  I felt my stomach hurt.  God bless all those who find themselves hungry with nothing to eat.

This is for Janie

October 14, 2011

Dear Janie,

I am sorry it’s taken so long to respond. Life seems to come
in between what we really want to do, sometimes, and what we
must do.

“The message I keep getting is he’s not going to change, so I have to change myself. I feel like I’ve worked very hard at that over the years, but here I am still.”
I don’t think the counselors mean you have to change yourself…but that you have to accept the fact he won’t change, and if you are still unhappy YOU have to quit accepting this life that is making you miserable, and CHANGE IT. You have to CHANGE punishing yourself, and get the problem into focus.
You have to change, in yourself, the blatant acceptance of a situation you abhor.
“Right now I do have to say, he’s really trying.” Did he actually come up with something, or keep trying?
I know a gal who said her alcoholic husband is “really trying this week”. To me it sounds like her husband is being treated like a two year old.
I hope she sometime realizes he is a man, and one week of trying does not make a lifetime. Do you see what I am getting at Janie? I never speak of anything that has not occurred I the experiences of my life, so I can relate to giving an x-husband a “pass” for trying. Sadly, things never changed, and that is why he is my x husband.

“Sometimes he’ll be sitting watching TV and I’ll be screaming inside. I never relax. I’m always going through the money, trying to fix things, punishing myself for not becoming a lawyer or something. If we ever do anything social, I come home depressed, because everyone seems to be doing so well. Same thing when we visit our families, who always seem to have new cars or are going on great vacations. It’s not that I’m envious, although you might jump to that conclusion–one thing you learn is that this is a taboo subject. No one will ask about it. They all become very uncomfortable. So it’s always the same old small talk and the relationships don’t feel genuine at all. Then we’re invited to weddings and it’s always awkward, because everyone is giving these big gifts. So you begin to isolate yourself. ”

These are your words Janie. You sound terribly unhappy and depressed, and in my prospective I think it is time to change your circumstances.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE. It is fleeting and you have obviously done everything you can to make things better. Nothing is working. Now it’s time for you to do something to HELP YOURSELF for the rest of your life.
You said your therapists and counselors have told you to “change yourself.” I don’t think they meant YOU personally.
My suggestion is for you to CHANGE your situation…and then after the initial adjusting to a new life (I would say without this man) – you will have changed yourself to be a happier person.
I hope you have courage and do not resign yourself to a life of misery. I would rather be alone than to feign happiness and in my mind know I am unhappy and want to scream. WHY SHOULD YOU STAY IN THIS MISERY?