Human Intelligence or Not?

July 11, 2017

Human intelligence fluctuates with habits. We become what we hear, see, and are told.
You have to dumb down to be fixated on what the advertisers are selling. The perfect face, the perfect body, perfect sex, the perfect home, the perfect toy, the perfect wardrobe, perfect furnishings and electronics, the perfect car, and so forth.

Really? Do we really need to buy because the money machine tells us to do so? Buy it all and then die young from the stress in trying to pay for everything. This is not a joke.
Stress kills.

Do you really think it is entertainment to go to the mall with your children? Where is the hell did you get that idea? Oh, never mind, I know.

Black Friday – REALLY? Grey Thursday? Let me grab my wallet and go buy a bunch of prettily packaged up JUNK made IN CHINA. It will last long enough to get the next model of stuff out so your new purchases will be outdated.

This year, just for fun, I am giving some of my FAVORITE things to my family. Why wait for them to get it until I am dead? Of course that may be years (I hope) – but I want them to enjoy some things I love the most NOW.

Material things come and go. Love is forever.

Thank you!

July 7, 2017

Photograph taken in Corvallis Oregon.  Added just for a reminder that there is still beauty all around us!

fullsizeoutput_5aI am nothing without love, and nothing without my faith of the Unseen Spiritual Power and Creator of it all. His presence is within me, flooding me with a will to live and the power to carry on, no matter what the future appears to be.

He holds me up, pushes me along, and gives me the encouragement to keep trying. I see Jesus struggling along the path, having done nothing but love and enlighten, being tortured as he marched to His grisly end on the planet, for a time.

His time with His creations should have been filled with intense love and trust. That baby boy, to grow to be a man, was filled with curiosity and kindness. He did no wrong to anyone. His faith in His Father was unshaken, and yet He was tortured and ridiculed for never denying his heritage and position as the leader of love and forgiveness.

My time is limited. Just when I feel I am not qualified to even accept the Grace offered as a full bounty, I am reminded by someone I love that I am His child still.

I must move WITH grace, having been given this gift freely. I must accept that because He stills sings in my heart, without me ever touching Him, He touches me, and still moves me to tears because of the thought of His love for me..for all His creations. I must accept that no matter what, He wants me with him forever…and you.

All my flaws, all my insecurities, all the times of strife I let this world almost get the better of me. He has never left my heart and my mind. He stands steadfast with me amidst the horrors of the world and will always be my shield and source.

I am ever grateful for His subtle and enduring love that moves me back to Him again with just mere words. I am forever of His mind and Love, and forgive, even myself, for my sometimes awkward and inept words and ways. For those times I let evil grasp me and fool me.

Once again I am empowered and able to move with grace and beauty. I simply awoke and I am transformed again. Create a beautiful day. Fill it with love and forgiveness. Each moment we are able to forgive and begin again!

We should all love one another, even if just in an act of kindness. Smile for no reason. See the beauty of each individual. Take a breath and believe YOU are able to change your world, and the worlds of those who are a part of you life…even if you simply pass by in the market. You are in charge. Use the innate power that fills the space in your heart saved only for God and Godly things. For heavens sake, and the sake our being – hug someone! I love you.

Marsha

Another Dream

June 10, 2017

Write while its fresh in your mind, write what you dream if you plan to do so. Easy for me as my dreams remain with me for days, weeks, and sometimes years. Often the same characters and the same location. Different scenarios though – although I have wakened and when I again slept gone back to complete or continue a dream.

They are always in color and always memorable in one way or another – very infrequently are they “bad” – though a few nights ago I had one that was, and it was sketchy in my mind the next day.

I share my dreams with my husband, but certain ones like I can only see in my mind…and it would seem confusing if I tried to explain them. My father dreamed every night in his life, as I do. I never sleep without dreaming. My mama never dreamed, nor does my husband…or they don’t remember them.

Night before last my dream was one of those dreams so broken I could not explain it. Last night was a bad dream, but also it ended in a message, I believe.. Not for me, but perhaps someone.
I remember my poor husband (who works so hard, and simply needs a good night sleep – waking me up because I was talking and yelling. He said, “Honey, its only a dream. Wake up.”
He’s done that several times in the last months – had to wake me and assure me. He says I now talk a lot in my dreams.

Confusing to him, but not to me. I needed to write this one down. The initial part of the dream was taken back to times in memory that were difficult and challenging. I dealt with an evil person who deceived me wholly. He was a con artist, and I bought what he was selling….of course you know where this took me! It took me down a path I did not want to be, and part of my life that time was in reality a nightmare.

I won’t go into depth but my education was increased triple fold, and my heart, though nearly broken at times, mended and I grew stronger because of the time. It took a five year bite out of my life, and affected myself and in a part larger group of people than I knew (I am just being honest) – I inadvertently hurt my children and led them down a path of some confusion too. What we sow we reap. A statement much more important than is given credit.

So often my dreams take me to “this part of my life”, because the truth of is, all the good you do in life does not erase or totally mend the pain of errors in major choices. We can only grow and move onward and upward. It did not make me hard against life, I promised God, but it made me resilient, tough, and stronger.

Back to the dream. There was an event that was a major celebration of some sort. It seemed as if it were a gathering of new friends and old friends. I could feel the excitement of camaraderie, and a spirt of anticipation. I think there was music in the distance, but it was unclear what kind.

I saw people drinking too much and bending one another’s ears with embellishments of truth and success. There were smaller groups gathering in quieter discussions. The celebration was outside.

I had come with the con artist, and could not find that evil man who I had been duped by again. He had quietly disappeared. Since the friends were gathered outside, there were small roadways nearby and many cars parked closely. The the moon was in quarters and the stars seemed to explode in color.

Without warning something happened, and this wasn’t clear, but people began screaming and there were injuries and fatalities. ( I am sure this particular incident correlated with what has actually been happening with the recent attacks and innocents dying. We are all affected by that which we see and hear, some more than others.)

I began to yell because I saw someone I cared for unable to recover from the injuries, and I saw this evil man had returned and was arm and arm with someone else! He sneered and looked at me without emotion. At that point I realized the alcohol had taken him and destroyed what little he had initially. He had fooled everyone. I should have known…..but I was once again, in denial. Denial of the truth had become deadly. I had been blinded by sweet words and beautiful lies.

I am not sure what I said or screamed, but at that moment I came alive and saw that which I had been denying for my own justification of circumstances. Mike woke me and took me from the dream momentarily.

How closely this connected today and yesterday in reality…but this was a dream. My mind coming to conclusions and preeminent warnings.

I found myself being directed by a medical professional to wait and then be transported to a home in an older neighborhood that had been turned into a medical facility. There was a pad for the copter to land.

The facility was not for physical injuries, but for STDs that needed to be treated immediately for a woman (or man). Apparently he or she could face potentially life altering / or life-threatening ramifications.

(Let me be clear that I seemed to have been protected in my true reality. The evil person that I had fallen for “could” have passed along many different problems to me because of his unfaithful and bisexual behaviors. I only found this out towards the end of this disastrous time I spent in folly!)

The dream ended with me sitting on a couch in a small room in the home. I was awaiting treatment. There was a large area in the center that was outside, and actually individual rooms around it that made it kind of became a donut shaped facility.

In the dream, as I sat waiting my poor choices flashed in segments before me as I thought of the seeds of evil I had accepted. Without consciously knowing, I had chosen this path. I later realized I justified it because of the wildness and pleasure factors. The alcohol introduced to me during the time had made the whole mess easier to accept. I thought I would never choose that path again. The doctor walked in.

I awoke at 6:30. I thought the last thoughts in the dream were actually my thoughts in that true reality. I realized how fortunate I had been to escape “whole”, and actually to escape at all. By the grace of God I am alive.

I was exhausted and closed my eyes and slept until the dog awoke me at 9AM. The point of sharing this….not sure, but perhaps a reminder to be certain your choices are solid and that you are not justifying your reasoning. You WILL pay for your choices, even many years down the road.

Keep in mind STDs are REAL. Use good judgment because you can loose your life and happiness by subjecting yourself to the “chance” of getting an STD – or pregnant for that matter!
About 70% or more of human beings have herpes gotten from unprotected sex! If you aren’t in that percentage, look up “herpes”…not a joke. I KNOW you have heard of HIV/AIDs.

Holly weird and many of the magazines today seem to promote sex (like it needs any promotion!)…and alcohol. PLEASE be aware much of what you see and hear originate from the aim of making the almighty dollar. The “star” power may say they stand for something, yet they still make movies with rapes, violence, chain smoking and loose morals – like its normal.
They still promote gays and lesbians, bisexuals and transexuals like it is “the common fact” and not a mere .05% of the population!

KEEP YOUR OWN SENSIBILITIES and live a more fulfilled life. Follow no other human being than your own knowledge of what is right and wrong. No one who says “I love you” (and means it) will ask you to change your personal belief system or philosophy about life!  Pick the path you follow….Do not be star-struck and do not be brainwashed!  You CAN BE a shining star….just BE YOURSELF.  That is the best of you.  Stop questioning the fact you have doubts…we all do.  But you are the only one of you in the world!

By the way, all these “stars” and politicians who declare guns should have more restrictions…have armed body guards, live in gated communities, and have no fear of that which the peasants endure. I include myself in this group.

THAT IS IT for now! Live a great life. IT IS ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE…if not in each scenario, in each RESPONSE…absolutely!

Love you!

 

 

 

How to Receive Love – Part 2

June 7, 2017

GOOD MORNING. Today I will finish my 10 thoughts on How to Receive Love!

First, please read yesterdays post and the five initial thoughts the the subject. If you ask what makes me such an authority on the subject I will only say I have received so much love over the years sometimes it is stunning to me.

I have also had the worst times a person can endure and been treated at times, quite poorly.. I won’t go into details, but to me, the past IS the past. We can either learn to survive and thrive, or we can live in the past and wither under its powers. That is the beauty of today. It is a new day. It is a NEW LIFE – one to make with what you dream.

Even if commitments are wearing you thin, and challenges have reached the top of the pendulum, keep in mind – at this point, you can choose either direction – drop to the bottom or rise to the top. (If you aren’t sure what a pendulum is – find out! UNDERSTANDING is a key to receiving love.)

These five I will expound upon but in a shorter version (at least I will attempt shorter – I have been called a word meister, although others are far beyond me there, I do consider myself a life meister…

5. Forgive. If you “need” to forgive in a relationship, then do it…forgive and forget. If you can’t forget – you may as well say farewell instead of torturing yourself and someone else.
6. Be understanding of others. There is always a reason for a frown or nasty attitude. The person may be able to be touched with a smile. There are also those who will continue to be nasty no matter what. If you feel that negative or EVIL, do not stick around and think you can change them. Just be grateful to be free and say a prayer for them.
7. Always be polite and thoughtful. Keep conversation ALIVE. Conversation is a key to a great relationship and deep love. In the end, friendship will outlive everything else.
8. Be flexible – accept people for who they are, don’t get involved to change them!
9. Open your heart to receive love. Don’t boil in a pot of fear from past heart aches. That is the past. If you don’t step up and find YOU – you will not gain your confidence. Remember love YOU. You are unique, one of a kind, a creation of God, and each of us has something very special….dig that out and let your life begin again.
10. FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT YOU MUST GIVE LOVE – real appreciation for each and every human being you come meet. I am NOT talking about sexual love or appetite….if this is to happen, it will. If not, so what! I am saying find something good about each person, some quality or feature that is theirs and let them know honestly and timely, that you appreciate it. Each of us is individual. There is something amazing in each of us….instead of “judging according to what the “media” standards are, or consensus of one group or another….be your own person and allow your judgment to flow in the way of pulling the good towards you and appreciating instead of immediately “seeing” and thinking you know that person.

We all want love. In order to receive love, we must first “love”…love in the sense of all these ten points, add in your own thoughts, and just accept that if you are positive and keep being the best of you, I promise, some time – someone will gravitate towards you and you will know.

Don’t be anxious. JUST BE! DECIDE TODAY IS GOING TO BE THE BEST EVER. Find the smile,HOPE and get going! Give love and it will come back to you…perhaps not at the moment it is given, but I will stake my life on “this return” – far safer than the stock market or the horse races. Just begin to take life not quite so seriously – have fun, insist on it. All the things we worry about really are silly in the LONG run…each moment CAN glow with the light of love if you start it! Start the flow….so easy to love if you allow yourself!

Even if you don’t believe in the Great Spirit, pretend someone is watching you and wants you to succeed…give it your all. (Of course I KNOW in my heart of hearts this Spirit is available to us all, inbuilt and waiting for activation.) I will always acknowledge, the truth for me is Jesus loved us first. He came to us in a gentle Spirit, a human body, and humbled himself to love us all. How could I not acknowledge my truth when I have the opportunity.

Every time I have ever needed an arm to hold on, a shoulder to cry on, someone to kick me in the fanny to start again – a prayer calling for help was sent from me, and all I had to do was let go of worry and trust I am in good hands!

I want you to have love. You may be loved by someone who admires you and you might not even know it. Don’t get SEX mixed up with LOVE. Of course it can be wonderful, but it is NOT love – it is SEX, mating, pheromones, lots of things…it can be called “making love”, however most people that I have known over a lifetime that actually make love – are those who are together for a long time. For them its not “just” sex…it is “making love” and it gets better and better. Practice makes perfect. That’s all I am saying. 🙂

Addendum: Don’t expect a relationship that is to last, a love that is to last, not to be a challenge at times.

Apply these ten thoughts, get in the habit of it, and the challenges at first -will melt like butter into a flow of life. Lastly never forget to give each other space. Respect that. Respect you may be a “couple” but you are still each an individual with thoughts and dreams. Trust it. Inhale a long and slow breath now (do it 🙂 With your exhalation, let jealousy and insecurities of the past fly from you out the fingertips and into oblivion. You’ll be happy you did. It is a new day! CREATE a great one.

I love you, you human being!

HOW TO RECEIVE LOVE

June 6, 2017

This sounds like a very strange statement. I am not writing about sexual love….for a woman that kind of love can happen at the snap of a finger. For a man, a bit tougher, but the trend has been “if he works it right…”

I am writing about the kind of love that makes it almost humanly impossible to live without. The kind of love that even someone who says, “I don’t need anybody.” will ultimately drive him or her, (if absolutely alone long enough) mad.

The inborn need to receive love is just a part of the living soul and human physiology. In other wards, we are born to need love to fill in one of the empty spaces in our hearts.

You may or may not agree with these statements, but in all my years of writing, I have never written anything but what I know to be truth. Yes, the “truth”, as I know it, might have something to do with what life has given and taken away from me. I understand this.

In my particular case, however, I have while in this tiny body lived through at least one instance of everything you can think of that can happen to a human being. We all have our “crosses to to beard, alluding to Jesus, as he was forced to carry his own cross to his crucifixion.

I hesitate now and realize there are several things I have not had to endure in this life. I am grateful for those nightmares manifesting in my life, and I shall not give them credence. I’ve learned this much. Do not give in to fear of anything, nor be certain the evil will happen to you.

Do not open the door for evil or negative in any manner, and you shall save yourself a life of fear and worry. Draw the positive to you by thought. “As we think, so shall we be….”

Those words mean everything! Thought dreams press us forward, thoughts motivate us and keep us from fear – if we endeavor to keep our thoughts of a higher nature.

In other wards remember that no matter what happens to us, we are always given – one hundred percent of the time – the choice to pick our response. A beautiful way to happiness is to choose the positive road. In EVERY scenario, at some point, you will be able to use what has happened, or is happening, to either learn and grow, or wither and loose the power we have been given…all of us has this power within.

Kind of got off on a side road, but my thoughts are play a part in the adventure of learning to receive love. It is out there and available to us. All of us!

It doesn’t matter who you are, how much you have or don’t have, how you match up to the media’s judgments (meaning internet, magazines, books, television or any avenue of transporting “opinions.” Those written words are also just a compilation of opinions.

Now down to the nitty gritty. Here are ten ways to receive love!

1. You must love you first! Drop all the preconceived notions you’ve heard about you! Dig deeply and find who you really think you are – and / or who you would like to be! It is all based on perception…your own. I can honestly say I have only meant a few “ugly people in my life. Those few people may have been handsome, brilliant, and talented initially. You KNOW my next statement is true: after getting to know that person, depending on their heart and actions, they will either still be as you first saw them, or perhaps even more handsome or lovelier. However if they are horrible people, ugly in nature, do evil things and are arrogant or filled with other negative things, they will become less handsome, less brilliant, and less “everything” as you get to know them. This is a true statement. You know it is. So dig deeply and even if you only find one thing you love about yourself, make it prominent – love it, invest in it, and love yourself. If you can’t love yourself no one else will be able to either!
2.  At first meeting (when appropriate) SMILE. Smile either by getting into the habit or just because you are now happy you love something about yourself…because loving yourself makes you innately feel worthy. So smile, smile, smile. Nothing opens the door to invite love as effectively as turning to meet someone and seeing them wearing a broad and honest smile. Maybe “just because.” I often find myself smiling for no reason in particular. It feels better. Perhaps love your smile! Others will for sure. (I don’t mean looking in a mirror. I believe satan created mirrors and scales! Think about it.) This will draw people towards you.

3. If meeting someone for the first time and a handshake is offered, give a good strong one. Nothing says confidence and personal strength as a sturdy handshake; man or woman. A judgment is made, believe me, by the quality of your handshake. Make it like you sincerely are glad to meet this person. This will draw this person into “your perception.”…a smile means happy, and it can also mean joy for life, a good secret, admiration for the person you share a handshake with, and much more. It is a valuable tool in beginning to receive love
4. Be concise and BRIEF in your statements in that introductory meeting. I write so I usually write a book as opposed to a post. I need to follow this rule myself. Therein, I will finish with number 5 and post and wait until I honestly have the time to finish this comfortably without putting extra pressure on myself knowing I have pressing things to do today. Unless you are brought into the conversation do not offer your life story!
5. Listen. Honestly and thoroughly listen to the person who is speaking. Do not think about what you will say when that person is finished. We all do this once in a while, and some people rarely think about what the other person is saying, and simply think about when they get “stage center” and review their own responses. Be yourself, and let your natural self flourish. Listen. Show interest in the other persons comments and thoughts….you might learn something valuable. Ask. Ask about the person and then listen! Use your memory to remember names (that is important), and the information they are sharing. Honestly, if you really aren’t interested in listening you will never get to know this person and your chances of receiving love are pretty low. Remember. They will appreciate the fact you really cared enough, upon first meeting….and meetings thereafter…to listen and remember. Those are enduring qualities. They nurture seeds of potentially flowering love.

It’s time to tear myself from today’s post and do the things I know I need to do. This is an example of how to love yourself. You will appreciate the fact YOU take care of business! That alone should make you smile. Don’t forget to smile. It is urgent in the quest for real and relationships, friendships, and love.

CREATE a beautiful day. I send my hopes for real blessings for you, and my love!

How to Start a Fine Day

May 26, 2017

It’s easy.  Just pray!

“Good morning sweet Lord. You let me be a living soul just another day! Thank you.”
“I will try to be loving, forgiving and kind. I will smile, which will open my heart.”
“I will endeavor not to be judgmental, yet keep the laws you require.
You give me all the tools I need to keep my body healthy, and
My heart seeking your higher ways.”

“Forgive me, my Lord, for lost days, weakness and poor choices.
For excuses I made to enable me to walk the tight rope
between heaven and hell…Still your forgive me, most simply, because I believe in your Son.”

“I am excited now to see how I can make you glad you love me today .
I want you to be at ease with with your choice to make me your child.
With your loving rules and guidelines fresh in my mind, I will take a breath now,
And leave the world yesterday behind.””

Though I cannot comprehend the vastness and forever or you,
I am made in your image, and I know, the Spirit will help me get through.
Two requests I ask from deep within, forgive me not knowing it all, and not fully being able to comprehend the complexity of you and your Son.”

“I do read your Book, and study the Word. Somethings are easy,
and others still go beyond the ability of me to fully grasp the truths of this Book.”
“I will not give up, I will not give in – I will continue to seek your charity
(another word for love) – I will drop to my knees in gratitude, and raise my arms above, in praise.”

“Humbly I ask for those I love to open their eyes
For those that have a heart for you to quit listening to “their” lies.
Your children abound, even those who are yet to discover the peace and the life you offer to all.”

“Please kindly nudge them, before the great fall.
Humbly I thank thee, humbly I arise.
With the ultimate sacrifice of your precious Son in my mind,
with tears in my eyes – I now stand tall.”

“With your Spirit to guide me, and your power all around me – My heart implodes with fullness.
The place you give us all, reserved just for you and your Son – is my true heart. I have already won! I will smile. I will love. I will bounce with the true joy of YOU!
I will pass it forward, that is just what I will do.”

“I love you sweet Lord. I think of you all the time throughout the day. I will hold my tongue, love hard, and be on my way.!

“Amen. (So be it).”

Don’t forget to praise any attempt from someone to do or say “good.”

May 26, 2017

These are a few of my favorite things anyone has said to me in my entire life. I have tried to base my actions and my days on these things. I choose now to forget the “other” things people have said – I might cry!

Someone once told me I have the faint cracklings of a healer. I loved that. I would love to heal everything – people, scenarios, war and discontent, communication between people. I cannot of course – but I can keep trying.

My daughter told me once that I channel what I believe…I channel God. Now I know I have not always, for sure, been a true reflection, but it surely inspired me….and I keep trying. Never give up and never give in!

I was told that my presence, at that particular time, to that particular person, was that of an angel. I have been told that several times, and I would love that to aspire to that purity and character…Wasn’t that lovely? Of course I know I am not – but I fly in my dreams – and I know I could in this life, if I could just remember how!

My eldest son told me he was sorry for all the times he had been mean to me. I was shocked. I never thought a thing of it because we all have our “growth” spurts, and love is unconditional and forever in my mind. He said he guessed he was mean because all through his life I had always been there – in the good times, and in the very bad times. It touched my heart, though love never runs away because of fear or distress- or because of mean words.

More than once people have said, “I like your smile. It made me smile.” Cool. Less wrinkles to smile, more fun. But truthfully, I think I was born with a special “happy” gift – a positive outlook in the most stressful times. It wasn’t easy sometimes, but I have always endeavored to smile. Honestly……it is habit now, and why not! Better to enter any scenario with a smile than a scowl. What we do becomes habit. (That is one of the very important things I teach in stress management.). Get into the habit of working to be happy – even if it starts out poorly, you have the challenge to turn it around.

When I broke my back, was treated poorly and dismissed, and my back literally burst – I might have been broken in Spirit forever. I attribute my faith, as the biggest factor, and my “habit of working to be happy” somewhere just below that. We always have a choice.

While in rehab I had a physician saying the nicest thing to me. He said, “I wish I could bottle up what it is you have and sell it!” WOW. Not to be sold, I guess. Just CHOOSE to get into the HABIT of thinking in positive terms. Sounds too simple. It is. Also, I can never diminish the power of prayer. For those who have never REALLY believed it works – be dogmatic about prayer, and then KNOW it will work for the best, in one way or another. (Not always your choice, but always the best.

I have had a full life thus far, though most of it is behind me, I look forward to seeing what is next. I want me to be my best ever. I have learned from a thousand mistakes and poor choices, and from those incidents which were not even my fault!

I prayed for guidance last night and woke up to feeling inspired write. IF I am able, I allow myself an hour to pray, read and write upon waking. It is a delicious time! There has to be benefits to getting older…I love to write and hope the things I write are of some pleasure and USE to you! Life experiences are great teachers.
There isn’t ANYTHING you cannot rise above! Whatever happens – you have 100% choice in response. Onward and upward. Out of sight and unknown personally – I TRULY send you love and hope.

I could tell you so many terrible things I remember in my lifetime, but the thing about being human is that if we focus on the GOOD – look upward and move onward – and LEARN, we will blossom like a flower. I’d rather be a flower than a prickly cactus. Smiling is so much easier.

Do something for someone today (something little or big) and don’t tell a soul! It will be tempting to talk about it, but it is so much more exhilarating to have the deed between you and whomever you believe as a creator. The Creator watches.

If you don’t believe in a higher power, then silently think about the deed and be proud of your choice, amidst all the tension and delusion that is happening around the world. It will bring a smile to your face sometime-probably more than once. It’s good to share love.

And if you think of the horrible days and comments made to you, then STOP IT. That was then.
This is now. On your mark….get set….go! And as my daddy used to say, GOOD on you! 🙂

A simple dream

May 24, 2017

Another dream, another night. The first dream was simple and clear. Cooking breakfast, kissing my loved ones good by for the day – knowing we all go our separate way.

In my second dream I was not able to put my foot on the brake while my car was in drive. Forward it went as I struggled to reach the brake. I hadn’t been moving so the thud was small and the jeep was barely hit – but enough to move the other sitting.

“I am not simpatico with the car I drive right now,” I thought…it was a worry. All the bells and whistles. Safety factors I love, but all I want to do is turn the music up loud and drive as fast as I can on a straightaway. Thelma and Louise came to mind.

Before I got in I had tied 3 sets of keys into a large red scarf. A strong gust of wind picked it up, lifting it out of my palm I watched while it became a red kite, flying now almost too high to see. It flew until out of sight and I assumed dropped a few blocks away.

As I stood there I realized, there was nothing I could do! I sat down and thought, “I need to go get busy. I will divert my own attention from this problem and perhaps it will resolve on its own. I will trust God.”

It was a strange dream, as if I were awake and really thinking these things.
The dream was over. I opened my eyes.

Why would I bother to write this down? I have no clue.

——————————————————————————

Here it is ten days later than when that dream manifested to paper. I re-read it and one paragraph hit me right between the eyes! I awoke this morning facing a problem that is a conundrum (a confusing and difficult problem to resolve.). I was just mulling over in my brain ANY possible resolve to the problem..thus far, I find none!

Then by chance I saw this in a folder with some writing I am doing, and found my answer! Here is the paragraph:

As I stood there I realized, there was nothing I could do! I sat down and thought, “I need to go get busy. I will divert my own attention from this problem and perhaps it will resolve on its own. I will trust God.”

Conundrum resolved for the time. Got to get up and get busy! CREATE a wonderful day full of moments to cherish!

Everything Physical

May 23, 2017

I awoke this morning after my horrific awake/dream (yesterdays post), and my first thought was a song “I have Jesus in my heart – you take Him too”. ..Well that was my first thought…so I climbed out of bed singing as I got a big drink of water and now a cup of coffee next to me.

My husband told me my struggle waking yesterday morning may have just been a continuation of my dream until I sat up. It is a possibility, though I firmly believe I was awake going from dream to physical reality.

My second thought this morning was physical…my back hurt and the pain (which is with me now until I pass on..) just is the way it is, so “boo-hoo”, everyone suffers. I will try to handle this within me. Why pass on the pain? I would rather pass on the joys and revelations of life.

The thought was not actually about my pain, it was about how physical pain transfers to mental anguish.  And that isn’t “just mental?,” you might think . Systems in our body function as a finely tuned violin. When one system is amiss, it does affect all others. Perhaps not immediately or constantly, but when the blood flows differently (say a blockage, or damages to the nerves that sit in proximity to the blood flow and the muscles) – You may realize Mind / Body / Spirit is not just a clever word mix, it is the absolute truth!

Sometimes I can actually feel the blood flow in my head or other parts of my body. I am in sync with feeling (or not feeling because of nerves) certain things that are happening to my body.  Listen to your body. Work with it.

As a former personal trainer and dancer, the fact that most of both my feet have severe nerve damage as a residual from breaking my back, is paramount to me. Aside from pain, numbness and a clumsy attempt to walk (as if I am actually able to balance without a cane 🙂 all affect me mentally as well….I don’t mean my mood, but the activity of my brain and other parts of my body.   Poor activity in my feet- unable to feel, blood flow perhaps, numbness in various parts of my body TRULY affects my mental state (as in “boy am I mental” (haha – that’s a given!)  and my physical state – because things don’t work properly -my entire being, is actually affected. Hence, Mind/body/spirit.

Somehow in re-reading that last paragraph, I think it might need changing…hope you find clarity in my meaning.  I am scattered today.

Think about it. Cut yourself some slack if you just don’t feel as good as you once did because of injuries or accidents or the aging process. Its probably not your fault…so don’t fret about it. You STILL have 100 percent. choice of how you respond to all these life altering events…..that is a huge gift!

Choose happiness always. Choose patience and understanding of YOUR OWN plight. Choose to understand that probably few really can step into to your shoes, though there are some that absolutely can physically! Wherein, you can excel until the day you die, and that is the use of your POWER of choice to behold life still in the best of terms. I have an advantage because I have a hidden source of constant help with the Holy Spirit within…seriously my best friend and help mate.

USE the magical gifts you perceive, dream of and pursue….All can STILL be achieved if you are “Mental” like I am. My husband says I live in Disneyland….join me, it is just a heck of a lot more fun, and WHY NOT? It’s just life!  Of course I can’t do everything I’ve always done, but it is fun to meet and rise above any challenge that faces me.  At least try!

Please take in a deep breath. Shout out an Amen (it means “so be it”) and now a BIG SMILE – just because you can! Back at you…..

DREAM

May 22, 2017

Since I broke my back there have been many residual effects physically that I deal with on a basis between me and God. So many emotions and set backs, so much to deal with physically and mentally. Yet I know many living souls must endure hardships.

The dream last night was the most predominant over me physically that I have ever had. It was terrifying. It almost kept me prisoner. I normally awake at 8AM, but on occasion 7 or 7:30. I couldn’t see the clock that has quietly ticked by my bed since mama gave it to me over twenty years ago.

I closed my eyes peacefully, exhausted. I began remembering the horror that beset my life so many years earlier.

I was in the midst of the most time of unrest, confusion and pleasure concocted together in a cocktail of alcohol, remorse, sadness and joys of the the highest in nature…shaken with physical pain and turmoil.

The dream manifested in a home near a large prison. The home itself was a giant maze of rooms and windows and people. I was traveling with someone who gave me love and caused me grief simultaneously. Mixed with memories of past and what seemed the present, we spent time with people who seemed nice but had motives beyond the purity of my mind. It seemed as if the entire place was a nest of normal looking people who were scarred or playing games of sex and violence.

My traveling companion and I parted often while in this house, as the hostess was showing me the projection of the continuous building of the house. He disappeared and appeared frequently enough not to be unsettling.

She showed me the biggest room being built, and it faced a prison, both with men and women.
You could see them though an iron fence clearly – walking and being lead here and there. Suddenly officers burst into the room and told the woman she would need to close up all windows facing the prison. The next few minutes were confusing and filled with the bustle of officers and strange faces confronting one another.

I knew it was time to go. I didn’t want to be there anyway. I thought someone I had believed to be in the prison was with my animals, and I needed to find out for sure. That was the purpose of the trip. It was then the companion appeared. He had been having sex with many of the women. I swallowed hard but wasn’t hurt. I just wanted to leave.

I knew this had happened and I told my companion “We need to leave. He hemmed and said it was made excuses to keep stopping on the trek. We made our way through the rooms and I politely said goodbye, I am leaving. He chose to come but stopped along the way and was engaged in sex with both genders now. If was a sickness. There were excuses made. His spirit had left him exiting through indulgences.. There was no excuse to me.

Ready to go, sitting in a blue vehicle that was open, long, and with only two seats. It was more like sitting in a futurist ride at a fairground, but it was sitting next to others similar, in nature. No wheels, no steering. He said he needed to do something before we left. I sat.

Then I got up and looked and he was sexually interacting with several men. I had to leave, only to find myself wondering from place to place in what seemed like a number of stores with cobblestone walk ways. I saw a mix of others…some of his kind – those he had known, and many who were in my position. I was exhausted and sat down to get off my feet. They had begun to be numb again, tingling and painful.

I heard music, rather a loud rhythm to music, like a drum in the distance getting louder. All I wanted to do was get out of there. Before I could leave someone brought my traveling companion and said he had caring for him. He had been in a fight and my fraudulent friend was in a state of permanent brain damage, and would be there laying down forever. He was still with eyes closed. It was better. I told him I could not take him and I could not stay. The man nodded.

The next thing I remember clearly was thinking I needed to move and get out of there. I opened my eyes and tried to move. I was in bed laying on my side and my feet wouldn’t move….its happened before for a moment upon waking, but this time it seemed my arms, (one by my side, and one overhead) wouldn’t move. I tried to keep my eyes open, but they began to close and I was in the dream again, with the drumming loud now. I closed my eyes and felt absolute fear.

I tried again to open my eyes, or to move, and though they opened and I was cognizant of wanting to move, they closed again and I couldn’t. I was frozen in that position, literally frozen, but my mind knew I had to move. I thought of calling the dog to awaken me, but words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I was terrified now. My eyes closed again and I knew I was returning to this place – but I knew I must not do so. I did briefly, then startled myself trying to awake.

I turned to God now as I always do and asked for help. As He always does, in one way or another, He made me know I was going to move. He never leaves me but asks only that I call upon Him for help.

I moved my my arm above my head and wiggled my fingers. I worked my eyes until they stayed open, and began to force my back to turn and my legs to move. It was terrified to be frozen in real time. Terrified. It was not a dream now….I had passed from a state of unconscious life not under my control…. I was coming back. I moved my arm now that was at my side, and used it to help turn me to my back. I felt the sting of pain, and a push behind me.
When I first moved, I felt I wanted to return to the place I had just been…I had not gotten the task of finding my dog and my friend completed. That wasn’t it. I somehow wanted, in part, to return. But I was horrified at the thought of laying there unable to moved and with my mind and body fully in another place – one that was filled with fear and one that took the purity of my mind and held it captive.

My eyes wanted to close, but only God could keep them open. The thought of Him empowered my movements and I turned to my other side, forcing my legs and feet to move with me.

I took a breath and abruptly sat and then with feet still not under my control I stood and moved quickly to keep my presence. I ambled down the hallway, saw the dog laying in the kitchen, and he lifted his head and looked at me. Somehow he senses when I am in peril and I was still terrified. I moved from room to room awakening those frozen limbs, my eyes now fully opened.

I was beyond that place and wandering from room to room, until fully separated. I knew I had to write this dream, as I do many dreams, and begin to live in this world again. This struggle with my body movement and breaking loose was not a dream. I feel I am to reiterate – “Time is of the essence. Move, be alive and choose wisely.”

Minutes passed and I asked the dog to sit on the bed next to me, which he eagerly did, as I reached for this laptop to record the nights events and the exit from one real world to the other.

My exit is complete now and I feel exonerated from the night. I was not deluded with alcohol or other drugs when I said good night to my husband and switched off the light.

I am fully awake now. I don’t want to go to that place again. It has nothing for me. I stopped writing for a moment, stretched my neck and turned and looked at the clock. One hour has passed since the trauma of awakening and movement began. It feels good to be able to stretch and move. I am scarred but alive – I never want to be taken away like that wherein I am “almost” unable to return.
I remember my dreams, sometimes for years, though I have never been trapped like that in one before. I do not want to experience that again. I know my dreams will continue. I know this dream has meaning for those who understand.

Before I could post this, my dog jumped off the bed in panic. I rushed to the backslider and opened it and he proceeded to throw up from the beginning of the patio to the edge of the grass.
Far-fetched I know, but looking at the mess to clean up. I thought he took the remnants of the horrible feelings I had on this bed, in escaping this dream, and he vomited them up .

He feels better now, and so do I.

I have thanked God for the power He bestows upon anyone, no matter what his or her history, for just believing. I have asked and pleaded all my life for things. It would be so remiss of me not to remember to praise and thank God for His power in my life.

I want to dream of flying again. For this awakening I press towards what remains of my living days on this planet earth as a human being. I am grateful.